When I was an intern on your show,
I was a control room intern,
and one of the jobs in addition to getting coffee
and people always go, oh, you got coffee for Conan?
Oh, I wish.
I got coffee for Jordan Schlansky.
Yes, Jordan Schlansky.
I always keep a photo of him nearby.
Jordan Schlansky has become a oddly revered,
a revered and reviled figure
because we started putting Jordan-
This is long after you were on the show as an intern,
but we started putting him on the air
because we found him so odd and strange
and kind of elitist and robotic.
And we started putting him on the show.
Everywhere I go now, everywhere I go,
people say, where's Jordan, is Jordan real?
So you can tell everybody, Mike,
you worked directly underneath Jordan as an intern.
He was my main, he was my boss.
Tell us, tell people what he's really like.
What I like best about Jordan,
what I like least about Jordan is it always seemed like
he didn't like me.
(Mike laughing)
He does give that impression.
But in the end, on my last day,
he goes if you ever need a recommendation, here's my number.
I go, oh, I guess he did like me.
I don't know, I can't read this guy.
Yeah, I think he wanted to trap you
in some weird situation.
I'm being honest with you.
When he says give me your number, here's my number,
call me, to an intern,
you know, you just have to be careful.
That's all you have to do.
So what I like best about Jordan Schlansky,
and I asked if I could say this on air,
because I thought this was sensitive material,
is that, he'd come back from these very social weekends
and everyone would go, Jordan,
what'd you do over the weekend?
And he would go, well, me and my friends,
we went into the mountains and we all got completely naked,
and then we sort of jogged around for a little while.
And everyone would be like, what?
And then he'd be like, well,
we got completely naked and jogged.
What?
Literally, like the what and him explaining it again
kept happening over and over again for about 40 minutes.
Yeah, what people think-
so many people have seen the videos I've done with him
and they think that it's an act and that he's a character.
It's not, he really is that guy.
And I can totally see him saying yes, the body is beautiful.
It is natural.
And he talks like Spock.
The body is beautiful, it is natural.
There's nothing sexual at all about these encounters.
We just like our bodies to be free.
We like our bodies to be in nature.
And so we like to move through space and time
using our bodies, and we don't want to be
encumbered by clothing.
(Mike laughing)
What a weird guy.
You're not even exaggerating.
I mean, that's what's amazing about it.
The reason why I think I thought he didn't like me,
this is my proof is that one day
someone brought in and handed out
Conan O'Brien insignia golf balls.
And it said Late Night with Conan O'Brien.
Why, I don't play golf.
I don't know why some idiot made those.
It was not me, but I guess someone made those, yeah.
So they handed them back my hand I'm out.
They hand them out, I go, Jordan,
I go, do you think I could have
a sleeve of Conan O'Brien golf balls?
And he looks at me and he goes, no.
What?
And so, Conan, what I for you today is a gift
and they can give it to you over there.
This just was handed to me just before you started,
before you came online.
[Mike] I don't hold a grudge.
Look at that.
(Conan Laughing)
That is a Mike Birbiglia golf ball.
Now let me understand,
you asked what 15, 20 years ago,
if you could have a Conan O'Brien golf ball,
and you were told by Jordan Schlansky no.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
And then you do this?
That's when I knew as an unpaid intern,
that's when I knew as an unpaid intern intern,
what my place was.
Yeah, he was letting you know.
That's so kind of you.
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah, please.
Did you just, did you just write your name on pen
on this golf ball?
Because it looks suspiciously like that.
That's a limited edition set and it's priceless,
as far as I understand it.
So maybe donate that one to charity.