Hila (off screen) - what's going on?
WHAT?
[offscreen] What's with the hair?
THE HAIR?
I'M WORKING ON MY HIP HOP CAREER I'M TRYING TO GET MY HAIR RIGHT LIKE
TIMMY BRAPSTON
HE'S GOT REALLY GREAT HAIR.
[offscreen] What's with the outfit? It doesn't fit you.
THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE TIGHT, THEY'RE SKINNY JEANS, HILA!
DON'T YOU...DIDN'T YOU EVER SEE SKINNY JEANS?
Sorry, uh, by the way, I had to borrow some of your jewelry, I don't have any of my own, so
I just needed to ice out and look pretty bling
so people--so I get some more legitimate street credit
[Hila starts to speak off camera]
WHAT?
I think I look pretty good. I think I'm ready.
[offscreen] It looks bad.
What are you talking about, "it looks bad?" I'm a complete natural!
Look online at the young hip hop kids and tell me they don't look just like this!
Not as good...but close.
[sick beats] "Wow, Ethan, great moves. Keep it up! Proud of you."
[even sicker beats drop as a narrator speaks]
Narrator - "He's not in this to be average. Timmy B is making music that takes risks and blows minds."
"..and he's bringing tracks with the kind of fire power that will lyrically infuse your headphones and move dance floors."
I don't know if I was dancing or having a seizure, but I don't remember anything so I need
to go back and watch that shit again.
Narrator - "Timmy B is making music that takes risks and blows minds"
'Takes risks and blows minds...' Timmy B put it all on the line...
when he missed his 5th period Geometry test to hit the studio to record this sick track he put it all on the line!
Timmy knows what risk taking is.
"...and he's bringing tracks with the kind of fire power"
Timmy rolls with his mom everywhere.
He brings fire tracks and his mom's his biggest fan.
He rolls with his mom everywhere.
"As a young, white rapper who's new to the game,"
He's a 'young white rapper?' OK, well...
WH-WHAT? Why did they feel the need to say that he's white?
I didn't need you to tell me Timmy was white, dude.
If Timmy's entire body was covered in-in a one piece suit I would be able to tell that Timmy was white.
"Timmy B's not afraid to step up to the stereotypes and stomp out any doubt that he can spit with the best of them"
[impersonating Narrator] Timmy's a young white rapper coming to bring fire to a [spits] a culture dominated by the African Americans.
It's a new race war, and Timmy's the warrior
Do you want me to keep going, Timmy?
Timmy wants me to continue talking, he just likes the way I sound.
Timmy just keeps paying me. I'm not even being recorded right now.
Timmy, how you doin'?
"...bringing tracks with the kind of fire power that will lyrically infuse your headphones and move dance floors."
[Impersonating narrator] Timmy surrounds himself with black people so that he can look thug and hard
and have that nice infused hip hop feel
because what's hip hop after all without a clique of black men behind you
Can I please go, Timmy? Timmy wants me to keep talking
I've made a hundred thousand dollars today
"A shy, but hungry 14 year old who pens his own rhymes
set out to expose his emotions and draw his listeners
into his original take on the genre."
[Ethan] Established Timmy Brabston 1999...
Oh, is that...is that when you were established?
Sex has never been the same for my mother since 1999 when I was born
My mother's vagina and anus were fused into the same hole in 1999 when I was "established"
I'm Timmy Brabston!
I had an abnormally large head that forced my mother's vagina to rip into the same hole as her asshole
Established in 1999, I'm Timmy Brabston.
Timmy's Mom - "Tim and Blaze have changed places today."
"He is now a producer"
"Are you ready?" "Yeah." [EPIC BUTTON PRESS]
Shit, dude. Did you see... did you see the way he pushed that button?
He's seems like a natural talent. Lemme see that again.
OH MY GOD, DUDE. How...How does a young guy go so hard?
Timmy Brabston.
I think we need a slow motion on that.
[super dank button press]
'You're a producer now, Timmy.' 'SHUT UP, MOM! GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE STUDIO!'
'I'm pushing one button over here!'
'Get out of my room, Mom, that's also a studio'
"So it's been about five months since I started doing all this."
FIVE MONTHS? DUDE! Nobody's been in the game that long!
Did he say five months? Nobody has been grinding for that long.
By how talented you are, how determined you are, I would have guessed six months at least.
Five months, Timmy? You're spittin' fire, boii!
[sick beats]
Did I mention that I've got three black people working for me at all times?
When the inevitable race war comes, I'm gonna be on top!
"We're trying to create a look for him. He's a young kid, he's a rapper, he's a white guy..."
[slowed down] "He's a white guy"
I'm Timmy and I'm a white rapper. Did I mention that I'm white?
I did. But let me tell you again... I'm white.
"He's a young kid, he's a rapper, he's a white guy..."
[echoing] "he's a white guy..."
"Uh, we're looking to create..."
[overlapping sound bites including "white guy" "race war" and other fun phrases from the video]
"I'm really proud of my brother because of his, uh, [unintelligible] progression in music."
"His songs are a lot better now."
Yeah, I really care about my brother, he's cool... what was this about?
Oh yeah, his rapping... yeah, Mom and Dad just paid for it, I dunno.
He's not really that good. Can you get the fuck out of here? I'm trying to play my video games.
"With the clean cut charm of a boy band front man"
The clean clat charm of a boy band front man...
Who the fuck wrote that, dude?
'The clean cut charm of a boy band front man." [scoff]
His mom wrote that, huh? His mom fucking wrote that.
I know he rolls hard. I know he was rolling way to hard not to have his mom behind that.
"Clean cut."
I wouldn't exactly call it "clean cut" he's got the hair of a fucking 60 year old dude with a goddamn shitty toupee
"Listening to music, a lot of rappers, their families aren't always fully in---" [Ethan cuts in] Rich.
"..tact" Oh, 'fully intact,' sorry
"There's a lot of them that go wrong whether it be drugs or alcohol..."
"But I'm lucky enough to have a family who's comple--" [Ethan cuts in] Rich.
"completely intact" Oh, intact, sorry again. I mispredicted that.
"...that's always here for me."
"To--" [Ethan cuts in] Have money
"You have to remember where you're coming from." Oh, remember where you're coming from...
I can't, I'm not good at this game! I keep getting it wrong!
[super dope beats]
Hila, there's one more thing, uh... how much money do we have in our bank account?
[offscreen] Like... seventy dollars.
I thought we had more! I can't afford to purchase my own hip hop crew with seventy dollars!
This isn't going to work!
That was my whole plan...
I was going to buy a production team and a bunch of black people to write my music
I'm not--I can't do this...
[sigh] Fuck it, dude. I'm done.
[Timmy B sends us off with some sick beats]