- What's up, fish tank people.
Fishtanktv.com, Dustin's Fish Tank springin' to you
on a Sunday, baby.
How's everybody doin'?
I hope you're doin' well.
(upbeat instrumental music)
Tanks all the time.
Hey, Dustin, why don't you set up a discus tank? No.
Hey, Dustin, why don't you set up a reef tank? No.
Hey, Dustin, why don't you get a big Cichlid tank?
Hmmm, maybe some day.
That doesn't mean I don't have love for discus.
That doesn't mean I don't have love for Cichlids.
That doesn't mean I don't have love for reefs.
I love a good fish tank.
They're just not my style.
So, today's video, before we get into the small tank series,
I wanna go big.
I wanna go massive with you.
I wanna talk about my one, two, three, four, five,
top five monster fish that I'm never gonna keep.
That's right, folks.
These fish that I've had brief encounters with,
I think of these fish like the girl that got away.
Yeah, baby, you know who you are, and I miss you.
Just kiddin', I'm happily married, and I love my wife.
But here are my one, two, three, four, five,
top five monster fish that I'm never gonna keep,
but I've had a relationship with in the past.
♪ We got a relationship ♪
♪ Me and my girl ♪
♪ We got a relationship, mmm hmm ♪
♪ My girl ♪
- Number five monster fish I'm never gonna keep,
we're talkin' about the clown knife.
That's right, folks, baby.
You gotta love a long, sleek, silver,
slender, sexy mama like a clown knife.
My love affair with the clown knife started back in college.
Yes, it was this wonderful little shop
near Athens, Ohio on your way to Pomeroy.
This is sacred grounds for me by the way.
I need to go back there and like spurt some blood
on the road or somethin', but we used to go
to this pet store frequently.
My boy Wayne owned the shop.
I don't think it's even there again.
The guy that sold me my first Crinum thaianum plant.
But it was at this great shop where I
first laid eyes on her, a monster clown knife.
These beautiful bastards are grown small,
but they get large in no time.
This fish wasn't even in a tank in fact.
She was actually in a lumber made pond,
and, yes, this beautiful baby was about three feet long.
And she actually let me pet her for a little bit.
But my love affair with this clown knife runs deeper
as my boy Jackson, the original owner of my 125 by the way,
finally got a chance to take one of them home,
not the big mama, but rather her
little cute brunette sister.
Yes, she ate like a champ with her fast snatchin' mouth
and left the faces of many blazed college students
in awe of her rosy red eating ways.
But all good fish romances eventually do
have to come to an end, and when Jackson
barely graduated from college,
he asked me if I wanted the 125.
Of course, I said, "Yes."
But when he asked me if I wanted a fish,
I had to let him pass.
(exhaling) Clown knife, my number five monster fish
I'm not tryin' to keep.
(upbeat hip hop music)
My number four monster fish romance
rolls back to 1997 as I bomb atomically
with my buddy Jolly.
We're talkin' about the redtailed catfish
in his old 75, folks.
Yes, I've had dreams about the redtailed catfish before.
Black, white, red, aw, yeah, baby.
This love affair with the redtailed catfish action
started in my buddy's parents' office
when I first kept her in a 75.
My buddy Jolly had a 75 gallon aquarium
in his parents' office, which at the time
was the coolest aquarium or thing
that either one of us had ever laid eyes on.
Yes, this tank was initially set up as a Cichlid tank.
That's until one day the beloved Pet Supplies Plus
on Tiffin Avenue, back when it was near Walmart.
Flag City, baby, what's up?
Got in a 10 inch redtailed catfish.
This was procured instantly by my boy Jolly
with my encouragement to grab it.
This beautiful baby came home with us.
She went to sleep after a long day.
When the next morning, it was too late.
Our love affair had devoured half
of his entire Cichlid tank,
that's including a breeding pair of Managuense Cichlids.
However, before she was returned
immediately to the pet store, adding insult to injury,
she puked up all the fish that she could not keep down.
Watching half-digested fish floating around your aquarium
is always a riot.
But as if we didn't learn our lesson
with the redtailed catfish there,
I had another meeting with this baby in college.
Yes, it was at a shop in Belpre, Ohio,
where I purchased a redtailed catfish
that at the time was only about three inches long.
She went into the monster 125 tank
of my boy Jackson, I talked about a second ago,
and I used to feed her slices of turkey by hand,
which is the equivalent of HGH
as far as I'm concerned with fish.
Her rapid growth was so apparent
that she was actually asked to leave the 125
and was moved to a 29 gallon of her own.
Now, the death and disappearance of this fish
is still unknown as simply one day she wasn't in the tank.
To this day, no one has 'fessed up
or any clues of her whereabouts.
Yes, I've got love for redtailed catfish.
I even had dreams about them coming equipped
with a blue instead of a red tail.
Redtailed catfish, my number four
monster fish that I'm not tryin' to keep.
(upbeat hip hop music)
It's time to go down to the Amazon, folks,
to talk about my number three
monster fish I'm never gonna keep.
That's right, folks, you wanna roll down
to the Nanay River off of the Amazon tributary.
Yes, you did, I thought so.
Let's talk about the peacock bass, folks.
Yes, you want a great predator fish,
peacock bass has got you covered.
I've heard stories.
A guy who once threw a lighter at his fish tank,
and the peacock bass smashed its face
against the glass tryin' to get it.
I know many a bass sport fishermen
who loves these fish and have called
them freshwater bullies due to their ferocious nature
when hunting and their tendency to sometimes
destroy and damage fishing lures while striking at the bait.
Note, while researching this fish,
I ran across a new crush, a hottie named Darcy
with a YouTube channel.
You can see her and her friend holding these two fish.
This chick's winning on multiple levels.
You can click the links around here
and check out her channel, where she's actually catchin'
peacock bass as an invasive species in South Florida.
And while both she and these fish are sexy,
who needs her when I've seen these fish
in their natural habitat, not invasively in South Florida,
where they are considered a native, or an invasive species.
Back to Peru, folks.
Now, I remember it like it was yesterday.
It was the typical 5,000 degree afternoon in Peru.
I was feelin' like crap after day drinking
with Señor Devon that morning,
and I decided to take a nap.
When I woke up, we were against the shore
of the Nanay River with the seine out.
The seine's like the 40-foot net
we used to catch all kinds of fish at once.
These are commonly used to catch a crap load of fish.
While your standard tropical fish gets easily caught
into the monster seine, not the peacock bass.
I didn't get it on camera, but I remember
these fish sayin', "Not me, not today, homie."
And they jumped two feet up above the net
and escaped to freedom back into the river.
We actually had to hold the net up,
two feet up into the air, to catch these
as they were jumpin' up out of the water.
Oh, yeah, and this lovely lady
holding this peacock bass here, name is Jen.
Has to be a joke in there somewhere.
No, folks, Jen is happily married,
and she actually still has this peacock bass
in her monster 265 collection.
Peacock bass, another monster fish I'm not tryin' to keep.
(upbeat hip hop music)
My number two monster fish I'm never gonna keep,
you wanna stay with me in the Amazon for a minute,
talkin' about arowanas.
Now, not many fish rhyme with a
controlled substance that has entrepreneurs
fleeing into Colorado and California
like flies on a rib roast.
What's not to love about arowanas?
They have the giant mouth that extends
and lets them devour big fish.
They can jump up out of the water
and snatch their meals out of trees.
Come on, get over yourself.
Ah, you can buy 'em small, and you
can raise 'em up in the U.S.
If you are a truly baller status,
you want to roll with the platinum arowana.
We gotcha.
I also know a hunk up in Canada
who's got a 2,000 gallon aquarium
with a pretty sexy one in it.
But I'm not tryin' to keep an arowana.
However, hypothetically speaking,
if I were to ever keep an arowana,
here's how I would do it.
You gotta have a massive tank.
I think we all know that.
I'd have a four, 500 gallon tank,
and what I would do would be to have
some sort of a monster ficus or some sort of a tree
that can have its roots down in the water.
And I would have this tree growing up out the top
so there'd also a glass panel in front.
So, the arowana could swim there.
And then I could put those little anoles,
or whatever they are, those little lizards
all over that tree, and then the arowana
could actually be fed and like trained
to jump up out of the water and eat
those little lizards off of there.
You know, we can all dream, can't we?
That's how I would roll with an arowana.
You gotta love an arowana.
I mean, what do you want?
You want red, you want white, you want blue,
you want black, you want platinum, we gotcha.
Arowana, fantastic monster fish that I'm never gonna keep.
Let me know what you think about arowanas.
I love 'em.
(gentle instrumental music)
Yes, folks, it's time to talk about my number one
monster fish that I'm not tryin' to keep.
Folks, there's just one life, one love,
and there can only be one king.
♪ There's one life, one love ♪
♪ So there can only be one king ♪
- The monster fish the locals in Peru call it paiche.
In Brazil they call it pirarucu.
I'm talkin' about Arapaima gigas, folks.
These suckers reach 450 centimeters.
If you're not down with the metric system,
over 14 feet long.
They're related to arowanas, but they make them seem small.
These fish have scales with an amazing reddish glow to them,
makes 'em look like some sort of a prehistoric hologram.
They come to the surface to breathe
and are one of the sickest fish around
and one of the largest fish in the world.
I know they aren't the largest,
but they're up there with the largest fish.
I've told my man Mike D. down in Imperial Tropicals
straight up he just needs to throw one
of these in one of those big ponds he's got
down there just because.
They're ferocious predators, and I've actually
seen them captive in a pond in Peru
with my man Devon Graham.
He's got some in a pond.
We were actually feedin' 'em bananas.
You can see the clip here, and check out
the video I did entirely about these fish
around here somewhere.
I actually got to play and hold an Arapaima gigas
at a wholesaler down in Iquitos, Peru when I was down there.
Note, these fish are protected,
and I presume illegal to ship into the United States
without some sort of an importer.
And that's actually how the Newport Aquarium
got many of their Arapaimas is from them being confiscated.
However, that said, I did happen to see
a couple of 'em for sale when I went
out to a shop that will remain nameless out in California.
Arapaima gigas, oh, my God.
Can you imagine if I was like,
"Hey, guys, come on fish tank people.
"Let's go out to my pond and check out
"my 14-foot long fish that I'm about
"to feed a buncha Oscars to."
I'm just sayin' it'd be pretty bothered.
Do me a favor, folks.
I'd love to hear your comments
and your feedback on these monster fish.
Maybe you've got a friend who's keepin'
some of these monster fish.
Maybe you're keepin' some of these monster fish
or you know of someone who is,
or maybe you're just like, "Ah, man,
"I'd love to keep this fish, and here's how I would do it."
Drop me a note in the comments down there.
If you like what I'm doin', subscribe.
Make sure you hit the notification button.
I've been goin' live quite a bit.
Click the links around here for more
information on individual fish.
Everybody have a fabulous freakin' week.
Subscribe and tank on, you monster fish lovers, later.
♪ Me and my girl ♪
♪ We've got a relationship ♪
♪ Me and my girl ♪