(playful music)
- Which is when I bred cows that only make curdled milk.
- I don't know if I can take many more detentions.
It's torture.
- Did you say torture?
- No, no, no.
No one said torture.
God, why is everything you do so fucked?
- You don't like my lessons?
- No, absolutely not
How could we?
- What would you rather learn about?
- I don't know, nice things.
Like people helping each other.
- Or video games.
- Or meatball sandwiches.
- Or videos of cute animals.
- Oh, you wanna learn about cute little animals?
- Yes?
- Why didn't you say so?
(playful music)
- For real what is this?
- Exactly what I said.
This way, to the cutest animals in the world.
- Wow, going up.
- Finally.
- But I think you'll find
even the cutest animals, are horrifying.
Disgusting,
and vile.
(children screaming)
Up up and away.
- Crap, we're going to learn
something bad about Santa, aren't we?
- Oh look, penguins.
Oh my god, look.
They're playing in the snow.
They're so cute.
- Aw, that one's dancing.
(penguin laughing)
- And that one, oh.
Dude do that somewhere else.
- These are Adelie penguins.
We like to think of them as innocent little butlers.
But they're hornier than a pair of teens in a meatloaf song.
- As much as I don't want to see this,
it's not that weird.
Masturbation is perfectly normal.
- What about rape, pedophilia, and necrophilia?
- God damn it, seriously?
- Yes, in 1912 explorer George Murray Levick
observed a group of thirsty ass male penguins
so horned up and looking for fucking,
that he labeled them hooligan cocks.
They fucked everything that moved
and a lot of stuff that didn't.
Including injured females,
baby penguins that had fallen out of nests,
corpses, even the ground itself.
- Oh come on, the ground?
- They literally fucked a hole in the earth.
To quote Levick's journal,
"There seems to be no crime to low for these penguins."
His findings were so shocking
that the academic community refused to publish his work.
- Maybe he shouldn't have spent all his time
focusing on a few hooligan cocks.
- Actually turns out not to just be a few.
Research now suggested this non-stop fuckery
is pretty common among Adelies.
- What, no.
Why?
- Males interpret almost any behavior
as an invitation for mating.
- We're still talking about penguins, right?
Am I right?
- Yeah, dummy.
What else would we be talking about?
- In fact, it takes surprisingly little
to get a male Adelie in the mood.
Researchers found that even a female's severed head
with stickers for eyes, stuck on top of a rock,
was enough to attract a male penguin.
(romantic music)
- Somebody stop him.
- This isn't what we wanted.
- You don't think penguins are cute?
- I did, until this started.
- Well, let's try something else then.
(playful music)
- If you like that episode of What The Fuck 101,
I have good news.
There's way more of it on dropout.
Dropout is the new premium ad-free
and uncensored comedy platform from college humor.
Which means, you can finally show your hot babes like this.
Oh baby.
Go to dropout.tv and start your free trial today.
- Come on, get your fucking hands dirty.
- No, I'm not gonna..
- Kill a baby dolphin right now.
- I'm not gonna kill a baby dolphin.
I'll never gonna kill a baby dolphin.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.