Donald J. Trump--
unemployed Twitter bot
and former president of the United States.
Today, Trump became the only president ever
to face a second impeachment trial,
which is pretty impressive when you consider
he only showed up to work about half the time.
I mean, if Trump really applied himself as president,
we could be on impeachment number, like, 35 by now.
And the trial kicked off today with Democrats presenting
a video which showed Trump's speech on January 6,
interspersed with scenes of violence from his supporters.
We're gonna walk down-- and I’ll be there with you--
-we're gonna walk down... -(crowd cheering)
We're gonna walk down to the Capitol.
-Yeah! -Yeah!
-Let's take the Capitol! -Take the Capitol!
-Let's take it! -Let's take the Capitol!
We are going to the Capitol, where are problems are!
-USA! USA! -(whooping)
-(shouting) -(bleep)
-That's enough! -Let us in!
Wow. What a powerful video
that Republican senators didn't see
because they pretended to go to the bathroom.
But you can definitely tell this impeachment is the sequel,
because the sequel always has to turn things up to 11.
The original impeachment was like:
Listen to this diplomat describe a phone call
as you ponder the meaning
of quid pro quo.
But this impeachment is like:
Michael Bay presents-- bum-bum-bum!--
Impeachment 2. We're storming the Capitol!
Aah! (imitates gunfire, explosion)
But after the video it was the Trump defense team's turn
to make their best possible case.
Although, based on how it went today,
I’m worried that Trump is gonna get the chair.
My name is Bruce Castor.
I am the lead prosecutor... lead, uh, counsel
for the 45th president of the United States.
I was assistant D.A. for such long time,
I keep saying prosecutor,
but I do understand the difference, Mr. Raskin.
I don't want to steal the thunder from the other lawyers,
but Nebraska, you're going to hear,
is quite a
judicial... thinking place.
My parents had on a record.
And...
We still know what records are, right?
On the thing you put the needle down on and you play it.
And, uh...
I... The other day when I was down here in Washington...
I came down earlier in the week
to try to f-figure out how to find my way around.
I worked in this building 40 years ago.
I got lost then, and I still do.
The founders recognized that...
...the ar... the argument that I started with, that...
m...
He talks about gallant men,
was his name of the... of the, uh...
of the album.
Good lord. Trump's lawyer is giving the speech you give
when you have to stall because the actual lawyer
is stuck in traffic.
Trump is probably watching this at home like,
what the hell is wrong with this guy?
The ad on the side of the bus said that he was the best.
Why would he be on a bus if he's not the best?
Although I will say this: the fact that Trump now has a lawyer
who's not leaking printer toner out of his head--
that's a step in the right direction.
And here's the crazy thing: it doesn't actually matter
what this guy says.
He could get up there and trim his pubes for hours,
because the jury has already reached its verdict.
In just the last hour, the Senate voted
that the impeachment trial of former president Donald Trump
can move forward. Six Republicans
joined with Democrats in a 56-44 vote,
saying the impeachment trial is constitutional.
The question, though, is, would there, in any scenario,
be enough Republicans to cross the aisle
to vote to convict the former president, Donald Trump,
and given that just six crossed the aisle
here on this vote today--
uh, and they'll need 17 to do that
in order to convict him-- uh, it doesn't look like
the impeachment managers are gonna be able to get there.
That's right, people. Before this trial even started,
almost every Republican juror has made it clear
that they don't want a trial at all.
And I get it. I get why Republicans
voted this way. Because, on the one hand,
yes, an angry mob stormed the Capitol building
where they work and could have killed them, yes.
But on the other hand,
everyone hates jury duty.
Although, honestly, I don't know why some of these senators
are even allowed to be on the jury.
It was my understanding that saying crazy shit like
"I want to overthrow the government"
was how you get out of jury duty.
And I know this vote might make the trial seem pointless now.
Yes. But just because we know how the trial will end
doesn't mean the trial shouldn't take place.
I mean, when you're watching Law & Order , right,
do you turn it off in the first five minutes,
when the cops interview a dentist who obviously
killed his patient to cover up an affair?
Of course not. You watch the whole thing,
because then you get to say "I knew it"
when you end up being right.