9 Lies Sabotaging YOUR Success [0:00:00]
So, the first lie that society tells you to sabotage your success, you are perfect just
the way you are.
Now, it’s safe to say many of us have told that to somebody we love to comfort them.
But, between you and me, the truth, they need to get their [bleep sound] together.
I know for me personally, I try every month to break my life into multiple sections and
I rate it based off of my own expectations.
[Music] So, how do I rate myself?
Well, I’ve got seven areas that I measure.
First up, let’s talk about finances.
Business finances, I’m going to give myself a 6 out of 10.
Personal finances, I’m going to give myself a 6 out of 10.
Next up, we’ve got centeredness.
This one is pretty big, it actually is broken into three parts.
First up, we’ve got emotional.
My emotional state, I’m going to give myself an 8.
I feel overall good.
I’m taking the steps I want to this month to improve the entire year.
Physical-wise, I’m only going to give myself a 5 out of 10.
I’m taking steps in the right direction, but I do not feel I am even close to where
I want to be physically.
And then, I’ve got my spiritual status.
So, right now, I’m going to give myself a 7.
I think that I could be doing more here.
I definitely want to improve here in 2023.
The next area that I measure is clarity.
And this is a big one, I’m going to give it right now a 7.5 out of 10.
And this one, definitely I have taken some steps in the last two months to improve my
direction, my bearing.
Next up, we’ve got connectedness and I’ve actually got my highest score here with an
8.5.
And I believe a lot of this is because I’m naturally inclined to be just a connected
person.
I enjoy talking and staying in touch with friends, my family.
I feel that we’ve grown a lot closer in this area of my life.
I’m winning.
Next up, I’ve got contributions.
This is am I making a difference in the world?
Right now, I’m giving myself an 8 out of 10.
I do feel that we’re having impact with our Feed Ukraine Charity, but I know that
we can do more.
And that’s my goal is to get this up to a 9 this year.
And here, as you can see we’ve got motivation at 7.5.
I’m really excited about Mission Fragrances, but all the projects I got planned this year,
I think this one will be an 8 here soon because as I start to free up time to focus in on
the things that excite me.
So, as you can see, I am far from perfect and I think that all of us if we would break
it out, we can realize, hey, we have a lot that we still want to accomplish, a lot of
things that are far from being perfect.
The next lie floating around out there, the dad bod is sexy.
That is a bunch of bull [bleep sound].
And even if to a small group of people it is sexy, are you happy with that body?
And I’m not saying you got to have six-pack abs, 20 lbs around the midsection maybe not
so bad.
But, 50 lbs plus, guys, all of a sudden you’re running into health issues.
As most of you guys know there are two parts to getting back into shape.
And the most important part is not going to the gym.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, the gym is important, but, gents, you cannot outrun a bad diet.
And this is why most men can’t lose weight, they can’t put on muscle because they don’t
understand that they need to change the food that they’re putting into their bodies.
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The next lie that you need to stop believing because it’s holding you back, money, it
doesn’t matter or even better, money is the root of all evil.
Here’s the deal, gents, anybody that says money doesn’t buy happiness hasn’t given
enough away.
Seriously, as somebody that grew up without money, I can tell you that having some money
makes life so much easier.
[0:04:56] I mean, you’re still going to have problems.
When I look at all my problems for the most part I can divide them into two camps.
There are money issues and then there are personal issues.
Well, if you’ve got money, it’s pretty simple, you can take care of the money issues.
Now, the personal issues, yeah, as long as you’re dealing with other human beings in
your life, you’re going to have those no matter how much money you have.
But, it’s nice when you can focus your energy on those and work to develop the skills to
be able to overcome them.
All right, gents.
So the next lie that men are being fed that’s holding them back, that is to work hard and
you will be rewarded.
Now, let me be clear.
I believe hard work is part of the equation, but it’s not everything.
No, on top of hard work, if you’re working for somebody else, you need to develop skills
that are going to make you a lynchpin.
Now, if you’re not in engineering, you’re not familiar with what a lynchpin is, this
is the one pin that you could remove and everything would fall down.
If you are this in your company, you are essential, guess what?
You’re not going anywhere.
If you are a salesman, you’re a rainmaker, if you are somebody that just simply knows
some critical systems, the company, yeah, if they’re looking to get rid of you, you
just have to bring up the skills that you’ve got and you’re probably going to be okay.
That being said, I know it’s not always the case, companies sometimes get rid of people
that are essential to their detriment.
And that’s why I always think you should be looking to work at a place that treats
you best.
Don’t be afraid to move to a company or even move to a country.
It’s one of the reasons I love immigrants that go and they find, hey, where am I going
to be treated better with my skill set?
And if you can’t find a company that treats you the way you want to be treated, perhaps
you should go start your own business.
I know for me when I looked at the stats of people that had built their own wealth, the
vast majority of them were business owners.
And to me, it was just, okay, I’d play the odds here and I’ll try to start up a business
that can reward me and will treat me the way I want to be treated.
On top of that, an essential part of this equation is understanding personal finance.
I recommend that you read as many finance books or listen to as many podcasts as it
takes for it starting to sound redundant.
I know a lot of you guys are complaining, Antonio, I watched your videos, you keep seeing
the same things about style.
Well, guess what?
If you’re at that point, you’ve pretty much heard the loop and at that point, you
need to be taking action.
So, if you’re reading finance books and you’re like, hey, the majority of this stuff,
I already know, then it’s a matter of actually just implementation.
Now, this next one I know is going to rouse some people up, but I don’t think any of
us are entitled especially if you want to get ahead to a weekend of booze and television.
Now, it’s a free country at least here in the United States and you can do whatever
you want, but if that’s what you do on your off time, then it’s going to be hard for
you in my opinion to get ahead.
I know for me one of the best choices I made in my mid-20s was simply getting rid of my
television and spending my weekends on self-development.
Now, initially this was just books, but then I was taking odd jobs in areas that I found
interesting.
One particular job that was paying me 10 bucks an hour was simply to go into the backend
of websites and adjust HTML code.
I didn’t know jack about websites.
The guy trained me up and I was just spending, you know, eight to ten hours a day going in
and trying to fix the code on this ancient website.
This is back what?
2003?
2004?
That skill set and dream weaver led me better understanding websites, not being scared of
them, and eventually starting my first website in 2007.
All I’m saying here is that all of us got 144 hours in a week.
Yes, you got to work 60 hours to make ends meet.
That gives you 84 hours of which 70, you’re sleeping.
So, that gives you 14 hours.
What are you doing with that precious time?
Are you developing skills that are going to make you more marketable, allow you to be
able to charge more for your services?
Or you’re just going to waste time in front of a screen drag up?
Not to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but if you wanted to keep people in their
place, historically what did the emperors do in Rome?
They gave them bread, they gave them, you know, beer, and they showed them a whole bunch
of games.
I mean, is that the path you want just to be placated with the masses?
The next lie that society is trying to push on you that you need a college degree to be
successful.
If you agree with this one, guys, smash that like button.
Seriously, you don’t need a college degree to be successful.
There are so many rewarding careers out there, dirty jobs you can go out there and grab it.
Actually, a lot more fulfilling than being stuck in an office.
Now, I understand if you want to be an engineer, you want to be a lawyer, you want to be a
doctor, you probably do need a degree.
But, there are so many professions that don’t need it.
The next lie the society is trying to push down your throat, just be a nice guy and things
will work out.
Now, generally the idea of nice people sounds great, but when we say a nice guy, you got
to understand the semantics the meaning right now in society.
You see, a nice guy is referring to somebody that is using his being nice, his being accommodating
to others as a bargaining chip.
Basically, nice guys are being nice because they want something oftentimes from a woman,
they’re expecting, hey, I’ll be nice to her, therefore I will get sex.
Gents, when it comes to sexual dynamics, being nice, yeah, doesn’t really get you anything.
Now, you can be a good man, you can be a kind man from a position of strength.
And what I would recommend, instead of trying to be a nice guy, be a respected man.
Be a man that has skill set that has value that can add something to the world, that
can add something to his society, that can add something to his community.
[0:10:08] A respected man brings something to the table.
He doesn’t rely on charity.
Maybe it’s strength, maybe you spend time on a gym, maybe it’s going to be raw intelligence.
Maybe it’s going to be a particular skill set that you have honed over time.
Maybe it’s going to be financial resources, maybe a combination of all of those.
What you want to do is you want to be somebody that actually others want to be around.
When you’re in a position of strength, that’s when you can be kind, that’s when you can
be charitable, and this is something that others find attractive that they want to be
around that person.
Being nice just to get something, no, that’s manipulation.
The next lie being shoved down your throat is that life is going to get better after
high school, after college, after you get that job that starts paying you a hundred
thousand dollars, after you have a family, after you have kids.
It can be great, but there is no guarantee life is going to be better.
And if you’re waiting for the goodness to happen to you, you’re going to be waiting
a long time.
Now, the seminal book on this subject is Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.
He’s got an amazing story.
He was a psychiatrist sent to a Nazi concentration camp.
In a nutshell, what he talks about is it’s our response to life that enables us to find
meaning in it.
So, if you’re just waiting for happiness to come to you because of a situation, because
of an achievement, because of where you’re at in your life that you’ve got a family
there around you, guys, you’re solely mistaken.
You’ve got to go out there and build the happiness.
You’ve got to build the situation the relationships that are going to bring you this happiness
that you so much want.
Now, this next one I know a lot of you guys are going to disagree with this especially
the romantics out there.
And that is there isn’t a perfect person, a perfect somebody that we need to find out
there.
And I know love at first sight actually the relationship with my wife.
I met her and I knew and I told her I’m like within 24 hours, I pretty much had written
her a letter telling her I’m going to marry her.
Now, was I just trying to get into her pants?
I don’t know, you know, it worked out.
Nowadays, I look at this especially having kids, I realized, you know, there are tons
of great people out there that they can form a relationship with.
And I think when you free yourself from that burden of going out there and having to find
the one and you realized there are actually probably tens if not hundreds of thousands
of people that you could have a great relationship with, all of a sudden you realize your odds
are a lot better.
And it’s something that, you know, you want to start building that life with you, you
want to find that person if you want to partner up.
And that’s probably another false lie that’s being sold to us is not everyone needs to.
I have friends that are perfectly happy in their 50s, 60s, and 70s and they are single.
Other people decided not to have kids.
Guys, this plan the society is pushing on us that all of us need to be alike, that is
not true.
Really, you need to just go out there and find and really dig in deep, try to figure
out what is going to make you happy.
And, of course, if you disagree with me, I want to hear from you guys down in the comments.
So, what video to watch next?
Well, let’s talk about the men’s mental health crisis.
Seriously, this is something everyone is sweeping under the rug.
This is a big deal.
So many guys are dealing with mental health issues and these are things you need to know
what’s going on with this.
Guys, check this one out.
It is a solid video.
[0:13:16] End of audio