GIRL-GUY-GIANT-IMMORTAL-FAIRY-PIIIG-GO!
Jericho: Dammit, this cave's so dark, I can hardly see what's happening!
Twigo: Even the great Twigo doesn't have the ocular power to see through this darkness!
Hendrickson: You both still have bags on your heads.
Twigo: Twigo knew that!
Guila: Hmm! Sure you did.
Hendrickson: Now, I'm sure you're wondering, what are a bunch of no-good, shit-eating, holy-fuck-WE-suck knights
doing in THE presence of viceroy, lord and chancellor, Sir better-than-that-PRICK-Dreyfus,
Holy Knight Hendrickson.
Jericho: Actually, I was just wondering WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING!?
Hendrickson: Fair enough.
That "thing" is a demon, and YOU are going to drink his blood.
Twigo: [unintelligible] Okay, eheh, sign me up!
Jericho: How are you okay with this!?
Twigo: I thought we were down here to suck dicks to keep our jobs!
This is sooo much easier!
Hendrickson: Uhhh, right.
[clears throat] Drinking this will allow you to gain the power of the red demon,
and allow you both to obtain enough power to promote yourselves OUT of apprentice knights.
Helbram: Our little Guila here has already done so, and has been a full-fledged knight for some time now!
So come on, stop your whining and drink the damn blood.
Heheh, I know you guys have some... grudges to settle.
Jericho: Ohohoho, do I ever.
Ban: Tell me about your scar Ban!
Twigo: Just you wait... pig.
[Beep beep!]
Twigo & Jericho: [screaming]
Jericho: [coughing blood-noise]
Twigo: Yes... the power... I can feel it!
I must grow bigger! Stronger! Bigge—!
Twigo: AH OW OH WAIT NO STOP NO STOP NO AHHH
[Twigo explosion noise]
Hendrickson: (Oh, thank God I didn't have to work with him.)
Jericho: [panting]
Guila: Looks like you passed. Velcome aboard!
Hendrickson: We must build up our forces if the Sins decide to interfere with our plans.
They must be plotting their invasion even as we speak.
Meliodas: We're entering in a tournament guys!
[inhale] Just the guys not the girls.
Elizabeth: I knew I should've grown a penis!
Meliodas: Gotta let out some...
Elizabeth: Hi!
Meliodas: ...pent-up aggression.
In the meantime, you special ladies get to stay here and mind MY BAR DON'T BREAK ANYTHING YEAH!
Elizabeth: Whooo! Girls' night!
Diane: That's no fair! I wanna join the tournament too!
You guys are just scared that I'll kick all your tiny asses.
Meliodas: Oh Diane, of course ya couldn't beat us!
But there's also a rule saying that girls aren't allowed.
Elizabeth: GIRLS' NIGHT OUT!
Meliodas: Well, you girls have fun without—let's book it.
Love Helm: Welcome, one and all, to the Vaizel Fighting Festival Tournament!
Where your fists do all the talking!
Now to an excessive amount of people, we're going to do a battle royale!
Weapons aren't allowed, but who's really paying attention, huh?
Heh, hahah, not me.
Howzer: Alright! I was finally able to make it this year!
Time to finally show off these guns!
(Uh, yeah, check it out.)
Love Helm: Guns aren't allowed!
Howzer: Awwwwww.
Griamore: The field this year appears to have some worthy opponents.
Finally! I can test the limits of my own strength!
Veronica: Shut up, Bubbles! Go down and pop some bubbles.
Griamore: Of course, Lady Veronica, but what of our mission from Lord Hendrickson?
Hendrickson: Go away.
Veronica: Go away to find my missing sister!
Hendrickson: ...Sure. Take Griamore with you.
And, also this.
Veronica: His name's not Griamore anymore! It's—
Bubbles! Are you even listening!
Griamore: [sighs]
Meliodas: Alright gang, let's win us a tournament!
Love Helm: And we have our eight contenders!
Meliodas: What the hell? Did everyone jump off the ring like a bunch of lemmings!?
What kind of pussy would just run away from a—
[honk noise]
King: Hey. I slipped.
Ban: Hey guys! I found a new jacket!
Meliodas: That's the same jacket you had a while ago.
Ban: IT'S A NEW JACKET!
Love Helm: The next round will start immediately!
Like, right the fuck now, get in there.
Meliodas: Ohohoho, I like the pacing of this!
Diane: Stupid captain, ditching me to fight in a tournament.
Oh, what am I thinking, he's not stupid, I'm sorry, captain, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
(Love you forever)
Elizabeth: WHOOOO! A MUSHROOM PATCH!
We're getting cranked tonight!
Diane! Punch it with your hand-fist!
Diane: Ugh, fine! Anything to take my mind off getting ditched.
I mean, what's the worst that could happen?
[Mushroom getting punched noise]
Love Helm: The first match will be Bubbles versus the mystery fighter, Mister Matrona!
[wolf whistling]
Meliodas: Are you su— are you sure that's a guy?
Diane: I really work on my pecs, okay?
Howzer: I can't BELIEVE they're letting a GIRL fight in a tournament for only the MANLIEST of MANS!
What's next, letting a filthy PIG serve beer to me?
Hawk: Step right up for the best beer in Britannia!
Howzer: Huh. What a progressive world we live in.
King: Wait a minute. Aren't those Elizabeth's garments?
Is she fighting up there?
Meliodas: If that was Elizabeth, then everyone's ears would be gushing out blood like there's no tomorrow.
King: Oh yeah.
Meliodas: (Where have I seen that body before?)
(And why do I feel like it should be... bigger?)
Love Helm: Yes! The punching and the munchings and then the punching and the [unintelligible] IT'S A FIGHT GUYS!
[Diane punching Griamore's perfectly sculpted abs noises]
Griamore: Your punches will have no effect on my perfectly sculpted abs,
for I have the ability to make shields!
[Diane punching shield noises]
I will have to ask you to leave this stage.
Diane: [grunting]
Griamore: Foolish girl, my magic barrier is impregnable!
As long as I keep my concentration there's no way to—
Veronica: Go Bubbles!
Griamore: Lady Veronica, could you please not—?
Veronica: Go! It's double-Bubble-trouble time!
Griamore: I—I appreciate your support, but what I need is—
Veronica: Bubblesaur! Use Bubble Beam!
Griamore: Bulbasaur is a grass-type! It can't learn Bubble Beam!
Diane: [grunts] [shield shattering noise]
Griamore: Uh-oh.
Griamore: [grunts]
Griamore: [screams]
Veronica: Nooo! Bubbles you suck!
Love Helm: And the winner is Mister Matrona!
King: So... Mister Matrona was actually... D-D-D—
DIANE!?
Diane: [giggles] I did it! I won!
Aren't you proud of me sweetie?
Meliodas: There hasn't been a single day that I've been proud of anyone.
And that record still stands today.
Diane: [giggles]
[Meliodas-getting-punched-in-the-gut noise]
Diane: Ungrateful little—mgh—ahh!
King: Mister Matrona! I mean—Diane! Wait!
Diane: Oh. Hey King.
King: Don't you "hey King" me!
You gotsa a lotsa 'splaining to do!
Like how you got regular-people small, and why you look so nice in Elizabeth's outfit,
and how I find female match fighters very attractive, and—!
Wait. Where's Elizabeth?
Elizabeth: I'm riiiight here!
King: Uh. Did your... did your boobs just talk? [Elizabeth talking in background]
Elizabeth: [unintelligible]
Diane: It all started when Elizabeth and I went into the woods and found some crank mushrooms that we were gonna eat.
But then...
Elizabeth: [unintelligible]! Pop that son of a bitch on the head!
[Mushroom getting punched noise]
Mushroom gargling: Oh NOW you've gone 'n done it!
Take this!
[Powder noises]
Diane: —And now we're small people.
Elizabeth: And that's how I got
[Elizabeth talking in the background]
Meliodas: [sniffs] I've never been more happy. [Elizabeth talking in background]
King: Yeah but... that doesn't explain why— [Elizabeth talking in the background]
Diane: I had to hide her! I didn't want to be disqualified for being a two-person team!
King: Well did you have to jam her between your two giant voluptuous—
Veronica: Bubbles! Get up, you lazy fuck!
Griamore: Ugh... Oh! My apologies for my disgraceful defeat Lady Veronica!
Veronica: Dammit Bubbles! I needed you to stay in the tournament to help find my baby sister!
We're on a secret mission!
Gah!
Howzer: Secret mission? I like the sound of that.
Griamore: Howzer?
Howzer: Hey Princess Veronica!
Hey Tiny.
Griamore: You saw my dick ONE TIME!
Howzer: Once?
Veronica: Tiny Bubbles!
Griamore: Ugh, why don't you just go to your own fight? Isn't it starting now?
Howzer: Oh, I already finished that fight long ago, with a good WHAM-BAM-SLAM!
You know what I'm sayin'?
Veronica: Mmmm... nope!
Howzer: I'll give you the deets... next time!
Griamore: Next time? What do you mean by—
NEXT TIIME!
Ban: Hey guys, it's me, Ban, here to say something!
So I'm gonna say something. You like what you saw here, then like what you saw here!
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I love you Internet kay BYE kisses [kissing noises] Bye bye!