I’ve always liked portable games, to feel portable.
Like, even when I was a kid, I felt like…if I’m gonna play some involved single-player
game, I’m gonna do it on a console.
That’s the strength of consoles.
The strength of handhelds, to me…is pick-up-and-play, in-and-out gameplay.
Games you can just turn on, play for a couple minutes on the bus and then turn off without
getting stuck in some long level, or boss fight, or dialogue.
So when I was a kid, my favorite Game Gear games were always, like…NBA Jam, and…WWF
Raw…
You know, simple, arcade-y games that worked great for playing on the go.
And not many worked better, than Road Rash.
Of course, Road Rash has been released for just about freaking everything, and it works
on pretty much every platform.
Point is, it works especially great on the Game Gear.
I mean, think about it, Road Rash on road trips?
Come on, you tell me one game more suited for the open road.
Makes so much sense, it could double as a mint.
Which is perfect, because just like Doublemint, Road Rash doubles your pleasure, doubles your
fun.
It’s highways, and violence.
It’s people beating each other both in their races, and with their weapons.
It’s everything everyone wants NASCAR to be, but won’t actually say.
I used to play it before bed.
So the Game Gear version is nearly identical to the Master System version, both in terms
of presentation and gameplay.
But you can’t take your Master System in the car, so advantage Game Gear.
You pick a course, you hop on your bike, you act like a complete sociopath.
This bitch tells you to listen to Biff, he’s a great guy.
Well, then why don’t you marry him?
Natasha?
See what Boris has to say about that.
Sorry, you’ll have to excuse the outbursts.
I mean, it’s Road Rash, I’m punching people in the face on the highway.
Which is both one of the all-time great ideas for a video game…and proof that deep inside,
we’re all genuinely bad people.
Including Biff.
What, so this is the great guy?
The compulsive spender?
Ask his kids how great it is, to have no presents on Christmas day.
So there’s only five tracks, which isn’t much…but on the other hand, I think that’s
all the tracks the game had.
Like, even the console versions, I don’t think they had more than five, either.
So it’s actually a pretty complete version of the game.
And thing about the Game Gear version is how good those tracks look.
I mean, today, it doesn’t look like much, but…
Holy crap, to have a game that looked this good, on a handheld?
I mean, that was insane.
Obviously, it doesn’t run as fast as other versions, but that’s about the only real
concession here.
Still has all the scrolling, great colors…cows on the side of the road…
This game’s awesome.
Actually, the sound has always been a highlight, too.
Fun music.
And like, I’m not at all a graphics/presentation-focused kind of guy.
I’m a gameplay guy.
But remember, this was a time when handheld gaming was largely defined by the Game Boy.
And its puke green screen, you could barely even see.
So to me, it’s wasn’t about having more advanced hardware…
It was about having functional hardware.
To me, the Game Gear was functional hardware.
The Game Boy was…
It was like psychic hardware.
Imagining where the sprites might be.
You know, when people talk about the best Game Gear games…stuff like Sonic comes up,
Shining Force, Gunstar Heroes…but the thing is, those games are all better somewhere else,
you know?
The Game Gear was never the optimal place for Sonic.
But you could make an argument, I think…that is the optimal place for a game like this.
It looks fantastic, it plays great…
And I think it’s even better on the go.
Yeah, great guy, that Biff.
It’s Road Rash, for the Game Gear.