-Football reacts to the Champions League Final -Here come the teams…
-Poor Inter, like lambs to the slaughter.
-Like ...
-Gasp.
-Too soon?
-Ja, too soon.
-Help me Internazionale.
You’re my only hope.
-Haha.
I never had you down as a cosplayer, Sir Alex.
-These are desperate times, Arsene.
-Well let’s just hope you don’t die during the match or else 442oons will have to tastelessly
CGI you in for the rest of it!
hahaha.
-How many champions leagues have you won Karim?
-5 -Oh, really?
Me too.
How many has Lionel Messi won?
-4 -Oh really?
I never knew that.
-So Ben, what do you think the score is going to be?
-Sorry, Mikel…
I don’t watch football -Oh…
Can I have the remote back?
-And Kevin De Bruyne’s going off -Let me walk, let me walk!
-That’s exactly what you said to Bayern last summer
-Ha!
True.
-An innocent injury or a Champions League conspiracy?
-Does Kevin have a sister?
-Poor Kevin.
Whenever he gets into a Champions League Final he turns into prime Naby Keita.
-Ha -WHAT?
You’re watching it with him?!
-Ja -I haven’t even left yet gaffer!
-Oh, come and sit down then James -Forget it
I’ll go and watch it with Roberto Di Zerbi!
-Would you care for a Ribena, Alexis?
-Yes please.
-Over my dead blooming body!
-And the halftime whistle goes!
-Urgh, this is even more boring than our final against Spurs!
Oh hahaha, you’re so funny Jurgen!
GROW UP!
-Sir Alex!
SIR ALEX!
-LUKE CHADWICK!
Oh!
What?
Where am I?
-Phew, for a moment there I thought you were more dead than this final.
-Poop Saudi Pro League!
It’s just a poop Saudi Pro League!
-Well, it is now -Oh yes, it is now.
Not when we were in it.
-Why couldn’t Man City have played this badly against us?
-Come on Erling!
Your performance so far is an embarrassment to pony-tail wearers everywhere!
-Inter don’t stand a chance.
Edin Dzeko makes me look like Usian Bolt.
-And the ball breaks to Rodri, 1-0!
-GOAL!!!
-GOAL!
-NO!
-BLURGH
-What do you mean I’m under arrest for using an illegal stream?
-Off the bar, Di Marco to equalise - Oh!
It’s hit Lukaku!
-HA!
What a bum!
-Thanks!
-Zlatan meant Lukaku.
-Oh
-The ball comes in, headed back across - Lukaku!
Oh!
Saved!
How did he miss that?
-Oh Romelu…
-How did he miss that?
Zlatan will tell you how he missed that!
Zlatan put a voodoo curse on his ass, that’s how he missed that!
-Just like the voodoo curse you put on PSG in the Champions League?
-Just like the voodoo curse Zlatan put on PSG in the Champions League
-HAHA!
-There it is!
Man City complete the treble!
-Why are you holding a thermal detonator?!!
-ARGH!
-ISTANBULLSH*T!
-LAME!
-Are you worried about Haaland winning 5 with Man City?
-No.
When he gets to 4 we’ll get the Saudis to bring him to the SAUDI PRO LEAGUE!
-Ha.
Love it.
-YAWN.
Well Neymar, that game was almost as underwhelming as you career
-What?
-Ha -Oh, I’m sorry.
I should have said as underwhelming as you career post Barca
-Ha -Yes, that’s fair
-Pep the greatest manager of all time?
Not a chance.
I’d respect him a lot more if he won something with a small little club who never wins anything.
-True.
-Like Dortmund.
-HA!
-YES!
-Suck on my sexy man sausage, Inter Milan!
Hey Zlatan, do you want to hold my Champions League winners medal?
-Do you want Zlatan to break your sexy man sausage?
-Fair enough
-Check out the Champions League final cartoon below now!
Adios!