Then, you get married.
You try to get married.
I don't know.
Older people, y'all different.
Like, older men that's married,
they don't tell you what's going on
with marriage.
They just kind of give you signs.
And older women, they get so
excited when they hear
another woman's getting married.
(screaming)
Me and my girl's
about to get married.
Like, "you're getting married!"
They just had a moment.
"Girl, I got a florist for you.
"I got everything."
They just went over there
and started talking.
I'm stuck with this older man just
looking at me.
(audience laughing)
I don't know this man at all.
So he's just looking at me laughing.
(audience laughing)
So I'm just excited, thinking I'm
doing the right thing.
Like yeah, so I'm getting married.
"Yeah, I heard."
(audience laughing)
He's like, "why?"
This man's been married 50 years.
What do you mean, why am I doing it?
I'm like, man, because I love her.
He starts laughing.
I'm like, what's so funny?
He's like, "don't worry about it.
"You'll find out."
(audience laughing)
And he said, "so you love her, huh?"
I was like, yeah. He's like--
(laughing)
I'm like,
sir, you keep laughing,
it's making me uncomfortable.
You have something to say?
He's like, "don't worry about it.
"You'll find out."
So then, he just
got awkward and quiet.
And he looked like he was trying
to gesture he's like--
(audience laughing)
I'm like, what are you saying?
His wife is like, baby, you ready
to go?
"I'm ready to go.
"Don't worry about it, sir.
"Son, you'll find out."
And he walked away.
Then, I got into this big argument.
Got married years later.
We was having a great conversation.
You ever having that moment
with your mate, and you're like,
man, this is why I married you.
It was-- it's all good.
Everything's clicking
on all cylinders.
And she asks me a question.
She's like, if you could be
an animal, what animal would you be?
She's like, I would be a lioness.
(growl)
So I started thinking of animals.
I'm like, man, as a man,
I want an animal to represent me.
That's what you would think.
So I think about a bear.
I'm like, nah.
I ain't trying to have a gut.
I was thinking about deer.
I'm like, nah,
I don't like the signs.
They be on the signs like this.
(audience laughing)
I was like--
"I'd be an eagle."
An eagle's a dope animal.
It flies.
It sees places nobody sees.
She's like, do you not want to be
in this relationship?
(audience laughing)
I'm like, what you mean?
She's like, what did I say I was
going to be?
I said, "you said you's going to be
"a lioness."
She said, and what you say you was
going to be?
I was like, "an eagle."
She said, and that don't make--
that don't add up-- that adds up
to you?
I was like, "I didn't know we was
"together in this animal kingdom.
"You asked me what I want to be."
She's like, how are we not together?
I'm like, "you said what would I want
"to be.
"I'm not thinking relationship.
"I'm just thinking of an animal I--"
she's like, if you want to fly away
from this relationship,
just say that.
(audience laughing)
I was like, "OK, I'll be a lion."
She's like, no.
No, I don't want to change you
because you always say I'm changing
you.
I don't want to change you.
So let me ask you this, Mr. Eagle,
would you at least come visit me?
So I'm thinking, like,
do eagles visit lions?
(audience laughing)
I was like, "no, you would eat me."
She's like, so you wouldn't even
come check on me?
I'm like, "you're a lion.
"You would eat me!"
She's like, so you wouldn't be
my friend?
I'm like, "is something
"wrong with you?
"You're a lion."
She's like, Simba had friends.
I said, "Simba as in The Lion King,
"the movie?"
She's like-- I was
like, "that's a movie.
"What are you-- like,"
this became a real argument.
She's like, we need to go
to counseling because it's obvious
that you want to not
be in this relationship.
So we are sitting in the counselor
office
because I wanted to be an eagle.
(audience laughing)
I'm like we're here.
What's going on in my life?
So she tells the pastor what
happened.
And the pastor say-- she tells him,
I told him I want to be a lioness.
And I asked him what would
he want to be.
Pastor, you know what he said?
Pastor say, what?
An eagle.
The pastor say, "what?"
And it's a man pastor.
So I'm thinking I'm in good company.
I'm like, he's going to tell her
she's off, clearly.
He turns to me and says,
"Barry, do you not want to be
"in the relationship somewhere
"subconsciously?"
(audience laughing)
I'm like, OK, she must have paid
him.
Something's going on.
(audience laughing)
Something sneaky going on.
So he's like, "can you leave?
"I want to speak to him by myself."
So she leaves the room.
And he starts laughing.
He's like.
(laughing)
I'm like, what are you laughing at?
He's like, "I told you you'll find out."
(audience laughing)