Time to get hype folks, because the Royal Rumble is just one week away.
Taking place this year on January 27th which also just so happens to be my birthday, honestly
I don’t know which I’m more excited about.
I do, it’s the Rumble, because getting old sucks.
Just a long slow slide into the grave from here on out boys and girls.
The other side of thirty is dark and cold, and I feel like there are wolves after me.
Any way back to the positivity - the Rumble is here, which means we’re finally going
to find piecing together what will be happening at WrestleMania.
We did a rumours video for the Rumble just after Christmas, but since then things have
changed, oh they have changed big time, so those old rumours have been replaced with
new rumours, and these are those.
If you catch my drift.
Anyway, I’m El Fakidor Laurie Blake and here is every single Royal Rumble rumour…
that I could find.
Roode and Gable vs The Revival To Take Place
A quick one to start, because could you really care less about this match?
And I love the Revival.
But this feels like one that has to happen if this The Revival keep getting shafted storyline
is ever going to properly pay off.
And they need to win it.
Otherwise it might not be F The Revival on their tights but FTWWE and they’ll end up
at All Elite Wrestling.
Brock vs Braun Was Never The Plan Oh we all got swerved on RAW this week didn’t
we?
Vincent K McMahon you sly old dog.
Braun Strowman drew the ire of Vinny Mac by flipping the bosses player wagon in a fit
of rage, oh now how is he going to get to prom?
And Braun subsequently got himself removed from the Universal Title match at the Royal
Rumble.
Later in the evening it was the extraordinary man who can do extraordinary things before
getting beaten up by Kane or Baron Corbin, Finn Balor who won two matches, made friends
with John Cena and tool Strowman’s spot in the title match against Brock Lesnar.
While it may seem like a sudden switch, especially as Strowman and Lesnar has been advertised
for quite a while now, apparently the swapsie has been on the cards for the entire time.
I feel like it’s a trade up, Monster for Demon, Demon is better.
Demon would be a shiny.
That nosey parker Dave Meltzer said that the plan the entire time has been to have Balor
challenge Lesnar for the championship inside Chase Field - hence the fact that Finn has
actually won some matches the last few weeks.
Meltzer has also said that this has nothing to do with Strowman’s surgery and recovery
either, Strowman was advertised against Lesnar in order to sell some extra tickets but the
switch was always intended to be made.
Meltz also said that after Strowman lost to Lesnar at Crown Jewel for the vacant title
Vince saw the Monster Among Men’s momentum slowing and feeling like he couldn’t really
afford another loss to The Beast.
Lars Sullivan To Start Feud With Cena
This one is a bit up in the air at the moment, but rumour has it that Lars Sullivan was supposedly
booked in to have a big match against Big Match John Cena at WrestleMania 35.
After the events of recent weeks, where Lars went from lurking to leaving to being at home
in Colorado after reportedly not turning up to RAW or Smackdown when scheduled to after
suffering a suspected anxiety attack, this whole thing could all be up in the air.
But if the Cena vs Sullivan match is still on the cards, and Vince hasn’t cooled on
the leviathan, then the Royal Rumble is a great place to start building this feud.
Probably by dumping Cena and his luscious locks over the top rope.
Hair toupee gone tomorrow.
Returns!
With the quantity of injuries currently plaguing the roster, filling out the men’s rumble
match may actually be difficult this year, don’t even get me started on the women’s
one.
We’re gonna be calling everyone back.
Hello, is that Eva Marie?
Get you gear on, grab a towel just in case, Vinny Mac needs you.
But this may not be the issue if some of the big name stars who are currently on the bench
can return to the ring.
Like Kevin Owens who has been out of action for a while now recovering from double knee
surgery.
Owens is expected to be back in the squared circle in time for Mania and could return
as early as February and March - but with the Rumble at the very end of January, that’s
practically February so could it be possible?
Admittedly he has changed his Twitter name to ‘Soon...ish’ no doubt a reference to
the promo packages that have been playing on WWE TV.
Suggesting that it may not be as quick as WWE are making things out to be.
Almost as if all of those promises for a new era, NXT call ups and returns were a stupid
waste of stupid time.
But you can’t mention Owens without mentioning his longtime friend and sometimes rival Sami
Zayn who is also out recovering from double shoulder surgery - so between them they have
one working torso and two working legs, that’s a match I want to see.
Zayn and Owens muppet manning their way to Tag Team glory.
Zayn has also been getting video packages teasing a return and according to PWInsider
has even been spotted down the performance centre training for his return.
PWInsider had a wonderful safari down at the PC too as they also spotted Fandango and Sin
Cara training for returns.
Someone else who isn’t out injured, but also hasn’t been seen on TV for a while
is Bray Wyatt.
He’s been teasing a new character on Twitter for months now, and has only wrestled a few
house shows in his old character, so could they be saving the return and the unveiling
of this new Bray Wyatt for a big moment, such as the Royal Rumble?
Over on the ladies side of things there is one name at the top of the list when it comes
to in-ring returns, Alexa Bliss.
Alexa has sadly been out of action after suffering multiple concussions, but has been on the
tellybox managing the Raw women’s division and now hosting her Moment of Bliss talk show
and also, for some reason, being caught topless in a segment that feels like it was written
by someone who suffered multiple concussions.
Nip slip ups aside though, Alexa is a performer that fans love and one everyone would like
to see return to in-ring action.
Bliss has said in interviews that she hopes to return soon, and the rumble is certainly
soon, but officials are naturally being cautious as concussions are a major deal, just ask
Daniel Bryan, they can make you a rabid vegan.
So she’s rumoured for sure.
But it all depends how her recovery is going.
The Rock
Moving over from returns from injury and whatever Bray Wyatt has been up to.
Gorging himself on worlds.
To legends coming back for one more go around the ring.
Top of the list is The Rock who was long rumoured to win the Rumble and face Roman Reigns at
Mania, but these plans have changed because of Roman’s leukemia diagnosis.
However, the Rock vs Brock is one option still on the table, meaning the great one could
be a surprise entrant and even more surprising winner of this marquee match.
Undertaker
An enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a Sudoku or something else hard, Professor
Layton, The Deadman is a living breathing rumour and always pops up on these rumour
lists because of it.
We never know what he’s doing, unless he’s hanging with Post Malone, word.
But it is rumoured that Taker will be appearing at Mania 35 for the final final match of his
career, this time he’ll leave his trousers in the ring too and we’ll know he’s done
as his naked bum slowly descends into a cloud of smoke.
So yeah Taker at Mania, but no one would call him Pisstaker if he also entered himself into
the Rumble to set up a little feud for that suspected match on the grandest stage of all.
Hogan
He’s back now officially.
All it took was someone to die.
So we may well see him in the Rumble.
Which would be a good way to hide the fact, that Hogan has no doubt lost a step or two
in the last few years in the dog house.
Batista Dave Batista has been crying out for a comeback
for ages - and what better time for the Animal to return than after becoming a genuine, beloved
movie star following his role in Guardians of the Galaxy.
Yeah, people who leave for Hollywood don’t always go over well, but Batista returning
with Evolution for Smackdown 1000 went down very well indeed.
They teased a feud with Triple H that straight up won’t be happening now that Trips has
had to have pectoral surgery, but there’s still tonnes of opponents out there for Dave.
So a Rumble entry is a good way to ease yourself back into the ring and set up a feud in time
for Mania.
Aleister Black To Enter
Wrestling Observer said that a source had hinted that Aleister Black could be a surprise
entrant in the Rumble.
The night before Black has a runback against Ciamp for the NXT Title, and if he loses that
then it feels like he’s probably done down in developmental.
And rumour has it that he will be heading to Smackdown live.
Therefore getting a big pop for a Rumble appearance would be a great way to debut him on the main
roster, and show the world what the Dutch Destroyer can do.
Kick people’s faces off.
Drew to Win
This one seems a little less likely than it once did, but WWE are still pretty hot on
old Drew McIntyre.
Long ago Vince pegged him as world champion material, and his singles run this year has
positioned him as one of the main players on RAW.
Before Roman Reigns had to relinquish the Universal Championship it seemed like Drew
could be the one to topple Roman sooner or later, but with the Beast running the place
someone more face flavoured seems likely, though don’t Drew out.
There’s still a good chance the Scottish Psychopath could Glasgow Kiss his way to a
title opportunity at Mania and set tongues really wagging.
Seth Rollins Wins The reason Drew doesn’t seem so likely any
more is because one Seth Rollins seems to be being positioned for a shot at Brock.
Loads of the backstage rumblings around Mania seem to suggest that it’ll be Rollins vs
Brock for the title, allowing Seth to add Beast Slayer to his ever expanding resume.
It reads like a crap Tinder bio: Architect, Kingslayer, Beast Slayer, Entrepreneur.
Live.
Love.
Laugh.
First message: ‘hey, u up?’
Second message: ‘dick pic’.
But to face the Beast at Mania you gotta earn the shot, and the fastlane to Mania isn’t
fastlane, it’s winning the Rumble.
Seems likely too, because they’ve even moved the Intercontinental title off of Ambrose,
meaning that Seth can continue feuding with Dean if needs be but not over a belt that
would complicate the Universal Title picture.
Becky or Charlotte to Win According to Dave ‘The Ears’ Meltzer either
Charlotte Flair or Becky Lynch is likely to win the women's Rumble.
Earning themselves a spot in what is expected to be a three-way match for the RAW Women’s
Championship at Mania.
Charlotte makes a lot of sense, because Becky is already facing Asuka for the Smackdown
title, which apparently was always supposed to happen, no matter what Paige says.
And it has been reported that the match at the Rumble was initially meant to be Charlotte
and Ronda but was changed to Sasha Banks versus Ronda so Charlotte could be in the Mania match
- how do you get into the Mania match, win the rumble.
But what if Ronda interferes in Becky’s match costing her the belt and then Becky
enters the Rumble, wins and challenges Ronnie for the RAW title, thus becoming the coolest
mothereffer on the planet.
And Finally…
Kenny Omega
Not happening but it is a rumour.
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Speaking of Kenny Omega, he’s probably going to join All Elite Wrestling, but who from
WWE should consider joining, well I’ve compiled a list which you can watch in video form by
clicking the link onscreen now.
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the latest wrestling news.
I’ve been El Fakidor and that was lucha.