-Welcome to the show!
-He good with them drums, man! -He's really good.
-Yeah! That was fantastic.
I'm so -- -Congratulations to you!
Thank you so much! That's so kind of you to say.
You were two-time baby daddy with one baby momma,
that's good. -That's right.
That is good. [ Laughter ]
That's good, that's how she insisted we did it.
[ Laughter ]
I want to say congratulations to you on all your success.
You've had an incredible couple of years, and we met 2009.
-Yes. -And this is a photo you brought
when you auditioned for "Saturday Night Live" in 2009.
Yes!
-Do you want to explain what was going on in this picture?
-Okay, so I couldn't find any other black people
in the building, but the janitor.
-Mm-hmm. [ Laughter ]
-And I really wanted a picture with you,
and I made you take a picture with me and the janitor.
[ Laughter ]
'Cause I wanted to show there was diversity there.
-Thank you so much.
That was really nice messaging for us at the time.
And you took it with a disposable camera, right?
-Yes! I had the disposable camera --
wind-up camera, that's what I usually take with me
when I travel places. Now I got a phone.
-Yes. -I didn't have a phone then.
-But I will say that you actually --
So you went back, you hosted "SNL."
-Yes. -And when you hosted "SNL,"
did you beef with Lorne about the fact that he had you
right there in his -- -Oh, you know I had to say
something. My mouth -- I runs my mouth.
-Yeah. -"You know I auditioned for this
show a couple of times.
[ Laughter ]
Thank you for now hiring me."
-Yeah, well I will say, anybody who make it back to hosting
without having to work there, that's the real accomplishment.
So, bravo.
-Well, you guys heard it from him first.
[ Laughter ]
'Cause I never heard nobody ever say that before.
-That's very impressive.
Speaking of "SNL," you presented at the Oscars with Maya Rudolph.
-Yes! -And you guys were fantastic.
-Yes. -And then immediately,
everyone on twitter was starting to pitch ideas for you guys
to do together. Do you -- and you've been doing the same?
-Yes, I've been pitching. I think we should do
the black version of "Thelma & Louise."
-Uh-huh. -Or maybe we do like
"Laverne & Shirley," you know what I'm saying?
Or like -- just basically any white movie that had two women
in it together. [ Laughter ]
We do that. -Yeah, perfect.
-The black version. -That's a very --
[ Cheers and applause ] Why overwork it?
Why over-think this stuff? -Same script,
we just change the lingo. -Oh, really?
Just straight-up same script? -We -- we snatching it.
Plagiarizing it. -Oh, okay, great.
You also met -- there was a lot of talk about
how you met Meryl Streep.
Supposedly you jumped over the rope lines to meet Meryl Streep
at the Oscars. -Yes, yes.
Did you know that I was a hurdler in high school?
-You were a hurdler? -Yeah, I was a professional
hurdler all through high school. So I hurdled the --
-So that was no -- a low rope line was no issue
for you. -It was nothing.
It was like skipping.
And I just jumped that and then, yeah, I told Meryl
that I wanted her to be my momma one day.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-And I -- -People were mad, 'cause --
you know why I think people were mad?
'Cause they couldn't jump the rope like I jumped the rope.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-I will say, I can't tell you how many award shows
I've been at, where I see someone I want to meet
and then I bail, 'cause I see the little rope.
-Really? -I'm like, "Aw, I'm not going
over that thing." -See, that's how you get broke.
-Yeah. -You can't let no rope stop you.
See, I've been to a lot of county buildings, I learned how
to jump the rope in the county line.
[ Laughter ]
When you poor, you learn how to jump ropes.
-I get it. You -- you talked about
you wanted her to be your momma in "Girls Trip 2."
-Yeah, I want her to be my mother in "Girls Trip 2."
I think it would be so cool if we find out that Deena has
a white mom. -Uh-huh.
And all of the girls, you know -- Jada, Regina,
and Queen Latifah's like, "How is that even possible?
How you going to pull that off?" I was like, "Well, she could've
married my dad, see, maybe my real momma passed
and then she married my dad and then my dad passed,
but she, like, turnt up like Deena.
Then you find out why Deena the way she because she get it
from her step-momma who happens to be Meryl Streep.
And then it would be amazing because if you see Meryl Streep
turnt up like me, you'll be like, 'she can do anything!'"
[ Laughter and applause ]
-I agree with that. -She can do anything!
-I would agree with that. I think --
[ Laughter and applause ]
-She'll get an Oscar for that.
For sure, she'll get an Oscar.
-It's arguably the last mountain she has to climb.
-That's it. I need to see her hood side.
-You -- you also, you shot a Super Bowl commercial
this year for Groupon. You got to go to the Super Bowl.
Was that your first Super Bowl? -That was my very first
Super Bowl, ever. -Did you have a good time?
-I had a blast.
-It was very cold. It was in Minnesota.
-Yeah, it was cold.
It was super cold getting there. I had to walk there,
which I thought was like, "Oh, my gosh, I'm famous now,
why am I walking to the game? [ Laughter ]
It's too cold for this. This is ridiculous."
But I got into the stadium and, you know, I started warming up.
Now, I saw a tweet where people were saying I wasn't drinking
'cause they said I was pregnant. I'm like, "First off,
you gotta get the D to get pregnant.
Where's that at?
Second off, I was wasted at the --"
I was tore up. First I had two glasses of wine
right down near the floor.
Then, I was like, "Dang, these seats are kind of whack,"
so I went ahead and Instagramed and tweeted Kevin Hart
and P-Diddy, right? I had tweeted them
and then Kevin had sent somebody to get me.
So then I'm up in Kevin's box, right?
-So it was that easy. You just went on social media
when you -- -You know, when you blow up!
-Yeah. -When you blow up,
it's a tweet away to success, man.
So then I tweet 'em, I'm up in Kevin's box,
now I'm drinking tequila. I don't even drink tequila.
Tequila make me make bad decisions.
-Yeah. -So I'm drinking tequila
and then I hear that Issa Rae hit me up and she said,
"Come over to my box." So then I go over
to Issa Rae box and then I'm eating good food
and drinking some more.
And I'm like, "Where are they --"
'cause I was wasted. Then I went back to Kevin's box,
I took Issa with me over there.
Then he's like, "Let's go the field.
Let's go on the field." I was like, "Yeah, let's do it!"
[ Laughter and applause ]
So then we on the field, right? We get on the field,
but first we had to all hold hands and kind of push our way
through like, "Come on, we famous, look at us."
-Is this end -- Is this the end of the game now?
-Yeah, this the end of the game. -Okay, so you're on the field
after the Super Bowl. -Now we on the field after
the Super Bowl, confetti is everywhere
and I got my phone out and I'm trying to find the players
that don't have baby mommas. You know what I'm saying?
[ Laughter ]
I'm looking for the ones that ain't got no babies!
So I can make 'em one.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-And now how do you -- how do you subtly ask them
what their current child situation is?
-I just walked up to them and was like, "Congratulations, man!
You're a winner!" He's like, "Thanks, thanks."
"How many baby mommas you got?"
[ Laughter ]
Got it on record. I had my phone out.
"How many baby mothers you got?" They're like, "Oh, I got two."
I'm like, "Oh, get out of here."
[ Laughter ]
"S'cuse me, s'cuse me, how many baby mommas you got?"
[ Laughter ]
-Did you do okay at the end? -I found --
I found one, got his number, right, but I forgot
to get his name.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Forgot what his name is.
So I got a phone number, no name.
-Well, this is the start of a romantic comedy.
-Hey.