- I made a big mistake.
We're gonna talk about that in a second.
(upbeat music)
Hey there, I'm Julie Broad of havemoreinfluence.com.
What if you make a massive mistake?
First of all, you're not alone.
If you haven't admitted it,
you're not alone in that, either.
A crazy study was published in 1932 from Edwin Borchard,
a Yale professor.
In that study,
the study by the way was called Convicting the Innocent,
65 Actual Errors of Criminal Justice.
In that study, he talked about eight murders,
or eight people who were convicted of murder
where the victim actually turned out later
to be alive.
Eight people convicted of murdering somebody
who was not actually dead.
Now, despite the fact that there was actually
a living, breathing human being in front of them,
prosecutors and police refused to acknowledge
that they had, in fact, made a mistake.
In fact, one of the prosecutors even told Borchard,
"Innocent men are never convicted.
"Don't worry about it, it never happens."
The book, by the way, Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me),
great, fascinating read on this subject.
They lead their book, page two they actually say,
"Most people when directly confronted
"with proof that they were wrong
"do not change their point of view or course of action,
"but justify it even more tenaciously."
So, not only are we human beings and make mistakes,
but we self-justify to protect ourselves.
We don't wanna feel bad,
we don't wanna feel like we messed up
and have done something wrong.
You, you might've made a mistake,
and by self-justifying you're robbing yourself
of a fantastic opportunity to learn and grow.
But you're not gonna get there,
you're not gonna get to the golden part of learning
from the mistakes that you've made,
and eventually forgiving yourself for making those mistakes
if you're not first aware that you're even making them.
Because your brain is stepping in
to protect you from feeling bad,
because none of us wanna feel bad.
None of us wanna feel like we messed up, but we all do.
And you first need to realize when you might be justifying,
not taking responsibility,
because no matter what happens,
there's always a part you've played in it.
There's something that you can take responsibility for
and do differently in the future.
So, be aware, admit it, and then learn from it.
And from all of this, you'll gain some real gold.
And by understanding the mistakes you made
and why you made them, and learning from them,
you'll actually become a more powerful influencer,
and have a greater impact on those around you.
And by the way,
if you're really nervous about admitting it,
one of of the pieces that they talked about
in the book Mistakes Were Made, very cool piece,
they talked about how President Kennedy in 1961,
they say that he's the only president
to ever admit that he was wrong,
not sure if that is still true
because the book was published a few years ago.
But, they talk about the Bay of Pigs incident.
So, the Bay of Pigs disaster in Cuba,
Kennedy says, "The final responsibility
"for the failure of Bay of Pigs invasion
"was mine and mine alone."
Big thing for a president to admit,
it was mine and mine alone.
And you know he had advisors all around,
but he took responsibility.
Now, you might think that people hated him for this.
The opposite was in fact true.
His popularity soared.
Now, think about it, if somebody knows you made a mistake
and you're not admitting it,
are you doing yourself any favors?
Are you building your credibility?
Are you building trust?
No, so people probably know you made a mistake,
so why not admit it, be up front,
and there might be fallback, absolutely,
but there's also potentially a great opportunity
to grow that relationship.
So, you're gonna get gold from learning,
you might get gold from admitting it,
and you're opening up your mind
to see possible areas where you might be able to improve
by being more aware of when your brain is kicking in
to self-justify.
So, I've made a mistake.
I've made many, but now I'm trying hard to be aware of it
so I can admit it and learn from it,
and I do hope you do, too.
You know what would be awesome?
If you come on over to havemoreinfluence.com,
say hello, and join the community,
and then I'll see you here again next time.
Bye.
(upbeat music)
Don't tell my husband I made a mistake.
I'll admit it to you,
but we're not gonna tell Dave that I made a mistake.
Deal? Deal.