Translator: Leonardo Silva Reviewer: Ruy Lopes Pereira
So, when was the last time that you stopped yourself
from saying what you really thought?
When you filtered yourself because you weren't sure if you would offend someone,
or you weren't sure if the person you were talking to would agree with you,
so you just decided to say nothing, not because you were trying to be curious,
but because you just felt like you shouldn't say it?
Now, I'd like you to ask yourself why. Why?
Why did you choose to filter yourself in that particular situation?
Many of us immediately think of images like these
when we think of freedom of speech, kind of the big speech,
protests, marches, conflict, big issues,
but what if we broadened our thinking about what freedom of speech means?
What if it was just as much about the interactions in our everyday lives
as it is about those big speech moments, those big interactions?
I've had the opportunity to talk to a lot of people,
thousands, over the last several months,
about what are often very emotional topics,
the stuff that you think about, but don't often talk about:
race, religion, poverty, fear, anger, hatred,
what it means to really live what you believe,
and this opportunity has created an insight that I can't turn away from.
So, I need to ask you today, for the good of us all,
will you join me in embracing your right to feel offended?
Throughout our history, we have been afraid that the government,
kind of like Big Brother in George Orwell's classic book "1984,"
is somehow going to limit our speech.
And while it's very true that in some parts of the world
this Orwelling dystopia is very real,
that people every day are imprisoned, tortured or even killed
for expressing opinions that their governments don't condone,
I would suggest that, today, the reality in our own communities
is that we need to look at ourselves when we go looking for the thought police.
Are we so worried about being judged for expressing an opinion,
or about being labeled as a certain type of person or about offending someone else
that we place limits on ourselves
for the things that we are willing to say or even think?
So, in the spirit of [TEDx] talks everywhere,
I'm going to go out on a limb.
I know I risk offending every single one of you in this room by doing this,
but I'm going to ask the question:
what if we stopped being so sensitive?
What if we could hear what someone else was saying without being threatened by it,
if we stopped being so afraid, afraid of being wrong,
afraid of not knowing the answer, afraid of having to defend what you think?
And what if we stopped being so self-certain,
if we quit judging others for what they say,
and if we really, really looked for opportunities
to interrogate our own realities?
I know this sounds hard, you're probably exhausted just thinking about it.
Why bother?
Why mess with these carefully constructed social norms
that make things easy for us most days?
Self-curated realities, or the "bubbles" that we live in,
represent a very dangerous trend,
which I think about as our increasing separation from each other.
I truly believe that the more separate we are,
the harder it is for us to solve problems together,
the harder it is for us to see ourselves as part of a larger whole.
So, what does living in a self-curated reality mean?
Well, it starts when you're only willing to talk to other people
if you are pretty sure they're going to agree with you.
Then, eventually, because you like to say what you think,
you self-sort and you hang out with people like-minded,
you hang out in circles of people
you're pretty sure that you know what they think.
You begin to feel stifled, you're not sure you can say what you think,
unless you're with the right people and in a safe place,
and eventually, become suspicious of others.
You're not spending any time with anyone else.
You don't know them or if you can trust them,
you don't really understand what they're thinking,
and then you lose opportunities to hear new ideas.
Your personal views are re-enforced, they're never challenged.
You lose your ability to conceive of another way of thinking
and once that happens,
once you lose you ability to conceive of another way of thinking,
well, then everybody else must be wrong, right?
I mentioned before that I have the opportunity, as a part of my daily work,
to talk to a lot of different people
about some pretty emotionally charged issues:
refugees, immigration, religious diversity, community safety,
whether or not people living in poverty deserve any public help,
who deserves help and why, on and on,
and I have to tell I know first-hand
that what I am asking you to do today is not an easy thing to embrace,
but I can also tell you, with 100% certainty,
that, unless we do this,
we will never be able to take steps to begin moving past the anger,
the distress, the alienation, the fear and even the hatred
that so pervades our world today.
We have to embrace our right to feel offended.
We have to be willing to be challenged, to be uncomfortable
and, sometimes, disheartened.
Freedom of speech is one of the bedrocks of our democracy,
but it only matters if you defend all speech.
That means speech you agree with, and speech you don't;
speech that offends you, and speech that inspires you.
I'm not talking about speech that crosses the line,
but I am talking about speech that is really, really distasteful
to your world view.
When the line is crossed, we need to call that behavior out for what it is.
There have to be limits on what is unacceptable,
but a very real danger for all of us is indifference,
which is bolstered by our willingness to live our lives
almost entirely inside of a self-curated reality,
where we can exist more or less away from the others that we want to avoid.
It is just too easy for us to stay separate from each other.
We can easily live in completely separate worlds:
where you live, where you work, where you eat, what you listen to,
who you talk to.
If somebody says something you don't like, unfriend them.
They're out of your online circle.
If there's an opposing point of view on a channel, change it.
You'll find another one.
So, why do you think we've decided to separate ourselves?
I think it's because it's uncomfortable to feel challenged,
and it is exhausting to do intellectual battle,
but what if every oppositional conversation
was not viewed as a call to arms,
as requiring you to counter-attack or to defend your position?
What if you just listened, respected the divergent point of view
and, here's the really critical part,
were brave enough to offer your view in return?
I know this is one of those things that's easy to talk about
and way, way harder to do.
Honestly, it feels counter to most of the instincts that you have.
So, I wanted to put forward three simple things that might help
as you take your own journey outside of your circle of comfort.
Don't judge. We all have biases.
If you were truly honest with yourself, you'd know it to be true.
The problem is not in having a thought. It is in what you choose to do with it.
If you apply that knowledge to yourself and others, see what changes.
Facts are facts.
You are completely entitled to your own opinion.
You are not, however, entitled to your own facts.
Some things are true, and some things are not.
It's up to each of us to discern and decide who and what to believe.
It takes work, but we do have to do it.
And words matter. What you say matters.
We know the powerful effect that words have on people.
Therefore, they should be treated with the respect they deserve.
Say what you think, but be decent about it,
and try to accept criticism as an opportunity
to examine your point of view, rather than something that's personal.
It is so much easier to hang out with people who are just like us,
but look at where that's getting us.
I'd argue that we are struggling to solve some of the biggest problems today
because we've so limited our frame of reference
and the voices that are at the table.
When it comes to some of the biggest issues of our time,
we no longer seek out opposing points of view as we try to shape our own,
as we try to find the best answer.
We dismiss them.
Race, poverty, inequality, community violence,
prosperity, sustainability -
What does it take to think big, to go after new solutions to old problems,
to be a societal entrepreneur?
An open mind, a curious spirit, humility, boldness,
and an authentic belief that the challenge before you can and must be solved.
Today's world is presenting us with a once in a lifetime opportunity
to solve some really big human, on a global scale, problems,
but to accelerate our thinking in this instance, we first have to slow down.
We have to embrace our right to feel offended;
not to be offensive, but to really listen to people outside of our circles.
If we don't,
we're threatening what makes our country and our community so special.
Most entrepreneurs will believe
that the best ideas come from a lot of ideas,
and the best way to get a lot of ideas is that everyone feels empowered
and brave enough to say what they think without being labeled or marginalized.
Embrace your right to feel offended,
and if you are so inclined, celebrate your desire not to offend;
but whatever you do, don't let it stop you from engaging.
Invite questions, invite real conversation.
I know this is probably the right that you are least excited to have,
but I encourage you to embrace it because we have work to do.
Thank you.
(Applause)