In a normal administration,
an impeachment inquiry would be enough drama on its own.
But the Trump presidency is like a Black Friday sale happening
at the Fyre Festival-- pure chaos.
Because while all this impeachment stuff
is tearing America apart,
Trump is causing just as much mayhem overseas.
It all started last week,
when he made an abrupt decision
to pull troops out of northern Syria,
which everyone slammed.
Right? Republicans, Democrats, Fox News.
Even the Joker was like, "All right, I love chaos,
but this shit is insane."
Well, now it turns out the thing everyone warned
Trump would happen is happening.
REPORTER: This morning, chaos in Syria,
as President Trump orders all remaining U.S. forces
to leave the north of the country.
Turkish forces hammering America's Kurdish allies
with the help of radical Islamist militias.
The escalating violence now forcing
100,000 people from their homes.
Turkish artillery also exploding
just 250 yards
from an American Special Forces post on the border.
REPORTER 2: It appears Turkey used alleged terrorists
as shock troops against U.S. allies, the Kurds,
until they collapsed
and had to call on President Assad to be their savior.
Amid this chaos,
ISIS is trying to regroup.
Hundreds of ISIS members and supporters
have broken free of detention camp.
Sweet Jesus.
Donald Trump is the only person
who can find a way to make the Middle East more chaotic.
Turkey invading, Kurds fleeing, ISIS escaping?
Like, the Middle East was already
a geopolitical Jenga tower,
with everyone trying to figure out the right move.
And then Donald Trump comes in. He's like,
"What if we moved the whole table?"
And Trump, Trump has justified his decision
to pull out of Syria by saying
that this is all part of his larger plan
to bring American troops back home.
And that makes sense. Right?
What doesn't make sense is that home
seems to be another country in the Middle East.
And as U.S. troops have been pulled back
from the border area of northern Syria,
President Trump is sending an additional 2,800 Americans
to Saudi Arabia,
the Pentagon deploying fighter squadrons
and two Patriot batteries
and other aircraft to bolster Saudi defenses.
This comes in response to last month's attacks
on Saudi oil facilities that the White House
has blamed on Iran.
We are sending troops
and other things to the Middle East
to help Saudi Arabia, but--
are you ready?-- Saudi Arabia,
at my request, has agreed to pay us
for everything we're doing.
That's a first!
Yeah.
Yeah, he's right. That is a first.
I don't think America has ever rented out its military before.
Like, that is a wild thing.
He's selling the military and other things?
What are the other things? Does anybody ask?
Nobody? What is, like-- What, does he just, like,
sneak Eric into the shipment?
He's just like, "You take this and Eric."
"Dad, why am I..." "Shut up, Eric. Go now."
It's weird that you can rent out America's military.
You know what I would do if I was Mexico?
I would raise a bunch of money,
and then I would hire America's military to do a coup on itself.
Yeah. Then the people would just be like,
"Mr. President, our military's taking over the White House."
He'd be like, "I know. And who's gonna pay for it?
Mexico."
-(applause) -So...
Trump says he's done with the Middle East,
but, in the same breath, he says
he's sending new troops to the Middle East,
which is really confusing.
So, to help us clear things up, we go now
to our senior war correspondent, reporting live
from the Middle East, Desi Lydic, everybody.
(cheering and applause)
Desi,
this administration seems to have very mixed messages
about America's role in the Middle East.
There's only one message I'm getting, Trevor,
and it's, "Dear world, America first.
Prayer hands emoji, bald eagle emoji, America."
Look, President Trump is just fulfilling his promise
to pull U.S. troops out of the Middle East.
And, you know what, it's refreshing.
A lot of men say they'll pull out,
but they don't.
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me seven times,
I have seven kids now.
But-but, Desi, but, Desi,
even though this was one of Trump's promises,
you have to admit that his decision
has turned the Middle East into a total shit show.
Oh, Trevor, the Middle East has always been a shit show.
It's like a Waffle House after 1:00 a.m.
Like, it's not America's job to get involved.
You have the Kurds, the Turks.
I-It's such a nuanced, complicated situation.
It's not something America can solve.
Okay, but if that's America's position,
then why send thousands of troops to Saudi Arabia?
Because, Trevor, it's the Middle East.
It's America's job to get involved.
Yeah, it has so much potential.
It's like a Waffle House at 8:00 a.m.
You have Sunni Muslims fighting, Shia Muslims.
It's-it's a very nuanced, complicated situation
that only America can solve.
D-Desi, it seems to me like Trump
is simultaneously pushing isolationist
and interventionist policies in the Middle East.
What? No! No, no, no, no, no. That's crazy.
I mean, that's impos... It's like being a-a person
that's black and white at the same time.
It's impossible!
Well, actually, uh,
that's-that's not impossible, Desi.
See, Trevor, here's what you need to understand.
Trump promised to get America out of the Middle East,
which he's done in Syria.
And now, by going into Saudi Arabia,
he has another opportunity
to pull America's troops out of the Middle East,
delivering on his promise twice.
Because you can't pull them out
if you don't keep thrusting them back in
-just again and again and again. -All right, thank... thank you.
-Again, again! -Thank you. Thank you, Desi. Thank you, Desi.
-Thank you so much. -Desi Lydic, everyone.