Stand back, villain!
You will not defeat me!
The village is saved!
All thanks to me:
Lady Pinto Bean.
Master Swordsdog...
Vanquisher of evildoers!
Rawr!
OK, these aren't actually evildoers.
They're my parents.
And I'm not really vanquishing them, because this is a pretend sword.
Just imagine it's real, OK? That's what I do.
Rawr!
Mom and Dad are actually brave warriors themselves.
Before I became a swordsdog,
I would watch them practice battle in our home.
Oh, how I wished to battle!
Until finally, I was like,
“Hey, let me get in on that.”
Gimme!
At first, they would not gimme.
So I had to get creative.
Stick sword!
Mwahaha!
And then when the time was right,
I finally fulfilled my destiny.
“Oh no!”
“She has upgraded her weaponry!”
From then on,
Lady Pinto Bean was unstoppable.
I won every battle.
I even defeated the vacuum cleaner single-handedly.
(barking)
Vacuums are very evil, if you didn’t know.
I became an expert at sword craft.
Care to know my battle secrets?
First, I size up my opponent to see if they have any weaknesses.
Then, I wait to lure them into a false sense of security.
“Maybe Lady Pinto Bean won't attack me,” they think...
“Maybe she'll let me continue to do my evil deeds unpunished.”
Then when they least expect it...
I go cuckoo bananas on them!
Hear my battle cry!
(barking)
As time went on, I grew more and more powerful...
until it started to go to my head.
“Excuse me, sir.”
“There's a lady here who wants to speak to the manager.”
“What does she want?”
“I don't know, Ma'am, what do you want?”
“We're out of treats.”
(barking)
And then, one horrid day, it happened.
My sword
broke!
“Oh no!”
And with it went my power.
But I realized something.
In my attempt to stop all pretend-evil in the land,
I had become the pretend-evil instead.
(barking)
Perhaps my sword breaking was a blessing.
It gave me time to think.
And take naps on the couch.
I realized that if I ever picked up a real fake sword again,
I needed to only use it for good.
Father?
Mother?
I think I'm ready.
It will need to be a special sword, though, to reflect my new ‘tude.
A sword forged in the fires of a great volcano in a distant –
(doorbell ringing)
Oh, what’s that at the door?
“It's here!”
“It’s here! It’s here!”
Is it...?
(gasping) A new sword!
Lady Pinto Bean, Master Swordsdog...
is back!
And this time, she will be incorruptible.
That means “good forever.”
Flee from me, all who wish to do evil!
Or don't!
And I’ll vanquish ya!
Boop!
Whoa!
Excuse me! Coming through!
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
Stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick, stick.
Do-da-do. I have a stick. Do-do-do.
Oh, hi there!
My name is Snoop, and I love sticks.
Like this one
or this one!
So many sticks!
I love my sticks, and my sticks love me.
But let's get serious for a second, 'cause I'm in a bit of a sticky situation.
I am on a very important mission
to find the biggest stick in the world.
I found small sticks.
I found medium sticks and some pretty large sticks, too.
But now it's time to find the biggest!
It will be mine.
And I will take it home and make it the centerpiece of my great stick collection.
But where could this big, gigantic stick be?
I have searched the entire world,
and I can't find it anywhere.
It's got to be around here somewhere.
Is it floating in here?
Maybe it's over here.
Could it be a muddy stick?
Ah, mud. I'll just relax here for a minute.
OK, break time is over!
Time to find that —
No, Dad, I cannot shower right now!
It will delay the mission!
Don't you know I have to find the biggest stick?
It's been my lifelong dream ever since I decided it was.
Could this be it?!
No, it's definitely this one!
What about this one?!
Let's just take them all home!
Gonna take all my sticks home!
Do-da-do!
Just me and my sticks!
Oh no!
Who put this here?!
Don't they know I have sticks to take home?!
Maybe if I just angle it this way...
Ugh! Oof! Urgh!
Well, don't just stand there!
Help me save my stick!
Just a little to the left.
Almost there...
YES! HA-HA!
I have seen so many sticks in my time that I've begun to wonder...
Will I ever find the biggest stick?!
What if I find one, and I think it's the biggest,
but then later I find an even bigger one?!
And so on,
and so on. Forever and ever!
Never ever finding the actual biggest stick!
I guess my search will never end.
Maybe it's best I just give up.
I don't think I'll ever find —
Wait!
Do you smell that?!
It smells like the biggest stick!
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
Over here, over here!
OH BOY! I FOUND IT! I found the biggest stick!
We got to get this home quick and add it to the collection!
I did it! I found the biggest stick. Yes I did. Do-da-do!
Wow! Today was a great day!
I found the biggest stick,
and I can finally rest.
But a dog like me doesn't rest for long,
when there's more sticks to find!
Now I must find the smallest stick!
And the brownest stick!
And the stickiest stick!
And the leafiest stick!
And the muddiest stick!
(gargling)
Oh, good! You’re here!
I gotta tell you something!
And it might freak you out.
Everywhere I go,
water’s spraying out all over the place!
Like here!
Oh, oh, oh, and here!
Oh, and over here!
But don’t worry!
I’ll stop these leaks and keep the world from flooding!
Even if it means drinking every last leaky drop myself.
I must remain vigilant.
Because if I don’t...
well, things could get pretty wet around here.
Leak!
It is my duty.
My joy.
My purpose!