-There were times that we could afford a hotel.
And there were times that we couldn't afford a hotel.
And when we couldn't afford the hotel,
we'll sleep in the car.
-Where's the blanket? -It's on your mom's side.
Give her the blanket.
-Thank you.
-The back space does turn into a full-size bed, yes.
There are padding, the right sheets and blankets
and pillows that we can use to cushion ourselves, yes.
But it gets kind of small after a while.
Like, if you're in a small space surrounded by, like,
the walls, sometimes it can feel like they're kind of closing in.
-If, before this you didn't learn anything,
but corona should teach you that we're all a paycheck away
from being homeless in the streets or in a hotel.
Basic things is a roof over your head and food in your belly.
As a parent, these are the things
that we should be able to provide with ease.
And me not being able to do that, it tugs at my emotion
because it's not fair to them.
My princess -- and I tell her
all the time she's beautiful and she's a princess --
and I'm giving her a bird bath in a gas-station bathroom.
It makes me feel like a failure.
It definitely makes me feel like a failure.
I'm just giving her a bath with milk, oatmeal, and honey.
-I never took a cereal bath before.
So I'm gonna take a cereal bath?
What I didn't understand was, why did we have to go out?
All we had to do was pay the hotel.
It wasn't that much money, right?
It couldn't be that much money.
Mommy, stop it. Stop it.
-My three days that I guaranteed my kids that we'd be in the car
ended up from three days to being a six-day stretch,
which could easily have gone
or was supposed to go to a 10-day stretch.
But Barbara Austria, which we call her Miss Barbie,
stepped in for the second time
and allowed us to have a place to rest our head.
-You go through the process.
I'm gonna put my card information in.
Alright.
You will pay me back $10 at a time
because I know you're getting a first paycheck,
and I don't want to put you in the red.
-First paycheck is gonna be two weeks' pay all at once,
so we can pay you back in full.
-Yeah, but I need you to get back on your feet.
I don't want you to keep going around, like,
where you're always trying to catch up.
-Being in the car was, like, the worst for me.
It was like, "Why am I even here?
What did I do to deserve this?"
It felt like I was trapped in a box,
like someone tossed me in a cage where the bars were thick.
And it was like you can't even stick your hand through it.
And then they locked the cage and then disposed of the key.
And then, when we finally got into a hotel,
I feel like that cage just bursted
and, like, I was free again.
But then, every time we get back in the car,
I go back into that state.
And when I get used to it, it's like I'm still trapped,
but it wasn't as bad as it used to be.
-I remember the first time when I left the hotels,
I made a promise to myself
and to my kids that we would never come back to these hotels.
And having to come back, I failed myself and them.
And then with COVID, it made it even worse because hotels
that didn't charge deposit are charging deposit.
Those that did charge deposit are doubling up on this deposit.
And my son tells me all the time that he knows that I'm trying.
But he doesn't like it.
He's very vocal about not having a place to sleep.
-We've been moving around kind of like a lot.
So, it's been like I feel like we haven't been keeping
the balance that I wanted.
It makes me feel like I can never really settle into a place
because I have this feeling
that we're gonna have to move out again
until we get, like, a place that we can call our own.
-You've reached the food pantry assistance
at Osceola Council on Aging.
If you're interested in receiving a bag of food,
please leave your name, number,
and we will reach back to you as soon as possible.
Thank you. -It's not fair to them,
that they have to choose between a roof over their head
or food in their belly, just like it's not fair to them
when my family send them money just so they can be happy,
buy a toy to distract them from what they're going through.
And we don't have that hotel stay,
and they know that their money
combined can't pay for a room for a night or two.
They've sacrificed a lot -- money, toys,
and everything in between.
I'm thankful for my kids, and I cannot thank them enough.
And I try to beat into their heads every day
that this does not make them who they are.
This is just temporary.
And we have to remember we're healthy.
We're alive when thousands are dying due to corona.
We have a car versus the people that we see on the sidewalk
sleeping with their shopping cart.
So I have to look at the little things --
the little things that others don't have.
When I had that, I feel like all the wind was sucked out of me.
I look at that smile on their face
despite them being hungry or wanting a shower.
It makes me want some more.
It keeps me happy.
It keeps me content, 'cause if I don't look at it like that,
I get lost, and we don't have and where we are.