Erik: Why is having a story worth telling more important than how you tell a story?
Michael: You know, here’s the thing everybody is a storyteller, except if you take a pole,
right, if I ask you Erik or anybody, anybody who is listening, “Oh are you - how many
of you are storytellers?
Raise your hand.
We all like suddenly go like this, I’m not a storyteller, I don’t know how to tell
a story, we immediately sort of abdicate, we immediately freeze up, like jeez I don’t
really know how to do that.
Ironically we do, we do it everyday of our lives and do it in so many different situations,
we’re constantly telling stories.
Like, what did you do this weekend, what’s your business about, where did you grow up,
when you are networking, all of these are moments where we are telling stories, we just
don’t realize that we are telling stories.
Or we go to the bank teller and we have a horrible customer service experience, like
that’s a story, and we may repeat it and share it in many different ways.
So, most of think we don’t know how to tell a story and then our excuse becomes, oh jeez
I don’t know the structures of storytelling, I’m not really good at that stuff, I wouldn’t
be good to get up on stage and perform a story.
So, what I usually coach people on is, look, there are many techniques and strategies on
how to tell better stories, right?
And there is a craft to that, but what’s first and most important is make sure you
have a story worth telling.
Why should I care about that, like what’s going to make me connect.
Or you are trying to raise money and you are asking people to donate, it’s like why are
they going to emotionally be attracted to what you are sharing.
It’s like everything in life has either attraction or repulsion.
And part of what you are doing when you are telling a story is you want to have something
that is worth telling, worth sharing, right?
If it’s worth sharing people are going to what to drink it, right?
Is that simple notion of what’s the energy to what you are sharing?
Right, not just for yourself, but really again, thinking about in service to who you are interacting
with.
It’s one of the reasons why lately I’ve been thinking more and more about leadership
and that leadership is a gift giving exercise.
Right, like we usually think of leadership as like, oh yes, like we think about this
is for politicians, you know, who gets voted into power?
We give lip service to, I’m going to take this, I’m going to do this, I’m going
to do that.
But really, the way you become a leader is by taking care of those around you, is that
simple, I mean it’s like it’s so simple, is that obvious.
There are so called leaders and are they really taking care of those around them?
In demonstrative terms.
So, that’s the same thing, that’s why as a leader, it’s a fundamental act of storytelling.
There is a lot of research around this, Howard Gardner has got a great book called leading
minds, this is a guy who came up with all the multiple intelligences and he then wanted
to study the anatomy of leadership.
And he looked at all these great leaders of the 20th Century and he came to the conclusion
didn’t matter where they were in the world, their upbringing, so on and so on, they were
all connected by one singular trait, was their ability to tell a story that inspired and
connected with the world.
So, this notion that like as leaders we are storytellers and as leaders is a gift giving
exercise.
And this is also what the underlying current of the internet, the gift economy.
Because remember, if we live in this world of hyper connection and yet low trust how
do you overcome that barrier.
Going back to anthropology, right, we are not only hardwired for storytelling; we are
also hardwired for the gift economy.
You look back at indigenous cultures and Native American cultures; it’s the pot lash, right.
In Asian-Pacific culture out in the islands is the cargo culture.
And it’s this notion that if you are a true leader there’s no greater privilege, there’s
no greater demonstration of status, it’s a real honor to be able to, for instance,
since I’m going to provide the pig that’s roasted that feeds the village, right?
And so it’s coming from that place like what do I have to give and share.
You know, and being able to connect with people from that place, that’s why if any of us
are trying to make it online, you are trying to build a business that’s why you have
to give things away for free, right?
Why you’ve got a free e-book or another offer.
You want to give something of value to people that invites them into relationship.
And that whole process is a storytelling process.