- (Alan, audience member) Hi my name is Alan.
- Alan.
- (Alan) Yeah, I write poetry on Instagram
and sometimes Snapchat.
But basically my question is on weed startups.
- Weed?
- (Alan) Yeah.
- Okay, yup, I heard it.
(audience laughs)
(chill music)
- (Alan) There is a company called GetMeadow,
backed by Y Combinator,
They're calling it the Uber for weed.
- Everybody's calling everything the Uber of everything.
I'm the Uber of humans, bitch.
(audience laughs)
Go ahead.
- (Alan) The Uber of weed is actually really cool
because you can like type in your zip code
and then live conference with a doctor,
like with your card and all that.
- Yup, okay.
- (Alan) But I live in Houston, right?
- Okay.
- (Alan) So that's illegal for me,
so it doesn't work, right?
- Okay.
- (Alan) Now, the other dude
before you started talking about...
- Steve? Okay.
- (Alan) Yeah, the rise of the rest
and everybody having opportunity.
- Okay.
- (Alan) So, what about people who are like,
selling or who want to...
Okay, I feel like drug dealers are entrepreneurs of...
- Like the purest form.
(audience laughs)
No seriously!
- (Alan) Okay so my question is
if somebody was born into wealth, right?
They live in Silicon Valley, that's cool.
They need to get $150,000 license a year.
- Don't get it twisted, man, stop your hate real quick.
Most people that get money from Silicon Valley
don't come from fucking Silicon Valley.
So stop it right there, but keep going.
But I'm not letting you just cliche it,
cause that's bullshit, it's just not true.
- (Alan) Okay, so now, how does...
Okay, an entrepreneur like me,
what if I wanted to study cannabis?
- Then move to fucking Denver, bitch.
(audience laughs)
Fuck Houston.
- (Alan) But why do I have to move to Denver, though?
- Because that's the current law.
(audience laughs)
Why do I hate Texas with all my heart?
Yeah, I'll tell you exactly right to your face.
I hate Texas, listen, I hate Houston
more than you fucking hate the system right now.
Because I built a wine business where I shipped wine,
and this fucking bullshit state took specs money,
the politicians, and blocked only one store
from shipping to Texas, me,
because I was at the top of the heap,
I was doing four million in sales here,
saving all Texas people money
cause I was creating competition.
And the wholesalers, three of them,
paid your fucking bullshit ass Houston politicians
to block me from shipping here.
And one day I got a letter and it said,
you can't ship here anymore.
So what am I supposed to do?
I can open a store in fucking Texas and throw down,
or I can adjust, that's what you have to do.
Nobody gives a fuck about your feelings, bro.
(audience laughs, cheers)
No but for real, like, like,
and the reason I'm coming at you like this
is I'm pumped for you, you're a kid.
Don't cry about, here's the biggest problem.
Bullshit entrepreneurs cry about the way they want it to be
instead of reacting to the way it actually is.
(audience cheers)
So you need to eliminate rich kids,
cause I was born with dick.
I lived in a studio apartment with eight family members,
on the sides of this stage and split toilet paper, okay?
So there's no excuse that somebody...
Most people that are born with wealth, bro?
They lose, cause they're soft.
So if you're so angry, put it to good energy
and go move to Denver, or enjoy 19 to 22, chill,
then move to Denver, or wait for the laws to change.
You can't cry about how it is,
that's just never, ever, ever, ever the right move, good.
(audience cheers)
I would argue that there was not enough clapping
for that part right there,
(audience cheers louder)
and that the collective energy of this room is bullshit,
let's step it up!
Fuck, that was some real shit.
Steve, that was some real shit, Steve.
And they're like, yeah good shit, that was fucking real.
(Welcome To My Dreams playing)