- Hello and welcome to Great Debates, where great minds tackle the great issues. Today,
we're debating the government. And with us again is my little sister Tasha.
Okay, I'm gonna ask you nicely to put the iPad away.
- What?
- You want to give an opening statement, what's up?
- I don't even know what we're debating.
- The government. I literally just said that a second ago.
- You can't debate the government.
- Oh, I see, little Ms. 4.0 GPA needs me to
give her talking points. Just because everyone thinks I'm the one that needs therapy and you don't.
It doesn't make you better than me, yo! Because--
- OK, can we debate how you're 35 with no prospects,
no job, still living in this basement. No iPad, no girlfriend. You still use MetroPCS--
- OK. OK. I don't need a girlfriend. I'm focusing
on me right now. Just because you and mom think I need to be with some rando--
Relationships are a social construct.
With regards to the government, is the Illuminati
in full control or do they merely have a strong influence over legislation? Tasha, your argument.
- Quincy, we've been over this time and time again. The Illuminati is not real. It's not a real thing.
- I didn't want to do this to you. I didn't want to embarrass you in front of my
audience, but I'm gonna -- - What audience?
- I'm gonna take it there. - Wow. So many receipts, you know, you only
need to keep receipts if you make enough money to file taxes.
- Let me get a dollar. - What?
- I need a dollar. - Why?
- Just give me a dollar, yo, for this thing.
Ha!
You see this?
- What about it? - You see it? We're being watched. Alright.
And pretty soon they're gonna have microchips in our brains tracking our whereabouts.
- Give me that dollar! If anyone is tracking your whereabouts, all they'll find is that
you spend way too much time in Costco. - No, no, no, no. That's not true!
- Oh, really? Then how did we get banned from Costco, Quincy? Why can we never go back there?
- I make the best deals. Everyone knows that about me. You know that about me. And you
know what, I didn't hear you complaining when I got five pounds of spare ribs. Five pounds
for 20 percent off because they were just one day past expiration date. We eat nice
that week. We was eating nice! And you know it!
- And yeah, we all got sick the next day. - Whatever yo.
There is coded symbolism everywhere. The Illuminati is tracking out whereabouts. And you have
to fight for your liberties in this country. We're not really free. I'm surprised you don't
know this. Like for an example, we you're at Costco. You know, what I'm saying, and
they have those chicken fingers that cost $5? Something like that should only cost $3.50.
Let's not be ridiculous. Alright, I'm upset that you have proven nothing in this debate.
I'm disappointed in you. - I'm never doing this with you again.
You know what, I don't need you to do this with me. Go. Leave my microphone! That is
my microphone. That's my property.
- And you know what, I'm taking my iPad.
- Take your iPad. I don't even need an iPad. You know what? It is upsetting that my own
sister is oblivious to the wilds of the government and the dark forces of the Illuminati--
- And I'm taking my plants. - Take your plant! I got my fake plant. My fake
plant will never die. This has been a Great Debate. Join me next week when I'll have a
greater mind debating another great--