HOW'S EVERYBODY DOING?
IT WAS HOT.
WE'RE IN LOS ANGELES.
IF YOU'VE JUST TUNED IN FOR THE FIRST TIME.
( LAUGHTER ) WE DO THE SHOW IN LOS ANGELES,
AND IT'S WARM.
THERE'S NO OTHER WAY TO SLICE IT.
IT'S WARM.
DID YOU GO OUT IN THE HEAT, REGGIE?
>> Reggie: I WAS LANDING BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, I WAS FLYING
AND, AS I WAS LANDING, I COULD SEE TH RUNWAY AND JUST A FIRE,
LIKE, THREE MILES AWAY, FIRE, RUNWAY.
>> James: YES, AND YOU DO SORT OF FEEL LIKE GOING, EVERYONE
ELSE ON THIS PLANE GOOD IF WE DON'T LAND?
>> Reggie: YES.
>> James: SHALL WE GO SOMEWHERE ELSE?
>> Reggie: YEAH, TOTALLY, ANYWHERE.
>> James: BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE A NIGHTMARE.
IT REALLY WAS AS BAD AS IT FELT.
L.A. COUNTY ACTUALLY HIT ITS HIGHEST TEMPERATURE EVER
RECORDED, 121 DEGREES.
>> Reggie: WHOO!
>> James: YES.
TO PUT THAT IN PERSPECTIVE, AT A HOT YOGA CLASS, THE ROOM IS ONLY
AT 105.
YOU COULD HAVE LITERALLY GONE TO A HOT YOGA CLASS TO COOL OFF.
( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S THE HOTTEST IT'S EVER
BEEN HERE IN L.A.
WE'VE BEEN AT CHRIS PRATT BEFORE, AT THE START OF THE
SUMMER WE WERE AT CHRIS PINE.
BUT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IT'S EVER BEEN CHRIS HEMSWORTH.
( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S HOW THEY DO THE HEAT IN
LAMB.
IAN, CAN YOU HANDLE CHRIS HEMSWORTH HEAT?
>> NO, I'M A THICK SLICE OF LA SAN . I CAN'T I START TO FEEL
HEMSWORTH RIGHT AROUND CHRIS ROCK.
( LAUGHTER ) I CAN HANDLE A CHRIS CATAN.
>> James: YES.
( LAUGHTER ) IS IT CHRIS CUOMO, THE MAN ON
CNN?
HE'S KIND OF HOT.
>> HE'S HOT ENOUGH.
>> James: HERE'S HOW HOT CHRIS CUOMO WAS, HE WAS SHOT EVEN
THOUGH HE WAS TALKING ABOUT THE FACT HE HAD CORONAVIRUS.
( LAUGHTER ) >> I'D STILL RISK IT FOR HIM.
>> James: DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
WHERE ALL HE WOULD DO IS SIT IN HIS BASEMENT APARTMENT AND TALK
ABOUT IT.
HE COULDEN GO EIGHT MINUTES WITHOUT MENTIONING THAT HE HAD
IT.
( LAUGHTER ) AND I REALLY LIKE HIM.
EVEN I WAS, LIKE, ALL RIGHT, DUDE, YOU'VE GOT MINIMAL
SYMPTOMS.
( LAUGHTER ) DID EVERYONE SEE, HUGE NEWS
STORY TODAY.
TWITTER BLEW UP TODAY BECAUSE DONALD TRUMP'S FORMER LAWYER,
MICHAEL COHEN, RELEASED AN EXPLOSIVE TELL-ALL BOOK WITH
SOME PRETTY DAMNING ALLEGATIONS AGAINST THE PRESIDENT.
THE BOOK IS ALREADY NUMBER ONE ON AMAZON.
THERE'S BEEN LIKE TEN OF THESE.
LET'S SEE, WE'VE ALREADY HAD "FIRE AND FURY" BY MICHAEL WOLF,
"THE ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENED," BY JOHN BOLTON, AND "TOO MUCH AND
NEVER ENOUGH" BY MARY TRUMP.
BUT THIS IS THE ONE.
THIS IS IT.
THIS IS THE ONE THAT WILL TURN THE TIDE ON TRUMP.
ALL THESE PEOPLE WERE ALL THERE WHILE THE THINGS WERE HAPPENING.
I'M STARTING TO THINK THEY ONLY WROTE THE BOOKS FOR MONEY.
( LAUGHTER ) THERE WERE THAT MANY BOOKS AND
YOU WAN TO SAY, YOU WERE THERE, DIDN'T YOU WANT TO SAY
SOMETHING?
YEAH, IN A BOOK IN EXCHANGE FOR MONEY.
( LAUGHTER ) THE BOOK IS CALLED "DISLOYAL: A
MEMOIR: THE TRUE STORY OF THE FORMER PERSONAL ATTORNEY TO
PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP."
THAT'S TOO LONG OF A TITLE.
ISN'T IT?
IT'S TOO LONG AND I THINK HE'S MADE A MISTAKE.
IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, THE BEST BOOKS IN THE WORLD ARE SHORT
TITLES -- "THE BIBLE,"
"WAR AND PEACE," "PADDINGTON," ( LAUGHTER )
THEY ARE, GOOD BOOKS.
>> 1984, THAT'S A GREAT BOOK.
THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD, THAT'S A NUMBER.
>> James: EXACTLY.
"DISLOYAL: A MEMOIR: THE TRUE -- ALSO TOO MANY COLONS.
I'M SAYING COLON.
IT'S UNNATURAL FOR ME BECAUSE WE SAY -- (PRONOUNCING COLON ).
DID YOU KNOW THIS?
>> I DID KNOW AND WE TALKED ABOUT IT EARLIER.
>> James: WE'RE MAKING A TV SHOW OUT OF IT.
( LAUGHTER ) I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH, IAN.
WE TALKED ABOUT A LOT OF IT.
NOT ALL OF IT.
CHRIS CUOMO DIDN'T COME UP EARLIER, BUT.
( LAUGHTER ) -- WHAT WE'RE TRYING TO DO IS
MAKE THIS FEEL -- I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, TURN THE
PROMPTER OFF?
( LAUGHTER ) >> I'M SORRY, I WAS HAVING SUCH
A GOOD TIME.
ROB TEXTED ME AND GOT ANGRY AT US FOR NOT GETTING ON THE COLON
THING HARD ENOUGH.
>> James: BECAUSE YOU WERE ON THIS THING.
>> 17 MILLION AMERICANS ON HOW TO PRONOUNCE COLON.
IT'S NOT A MOUNTAIN I'M DYING ON.
IT'S COLON.
>> James: BUT IT'S PRONOUNCED CO-LON.
>> I'VE NEVER HEARD THAT BEFORE.
>> James: REG, YOU'RE A WELL-TRAVELED MAN.
YOU'RE SO TRAVELED YOU WERE FLYING THIS WEEKEND.
>> Reggie: I WAS.
>> James: ARE YOU WITH ME?
CO-LON OR COLON.
>> Reggie: IT DEPENDS ON WHAT SIDE OF THE POND YOU'RE ON,
CO-LON OR COLON.
>> James: BUT IT'S NOT UN.
WE DON'T SAY AL-U-MINIMUM OR WHATEVER THAT IS.
WE SAY ALUMINUM.
>> James: BUT YOU SPELL IT DIFFERENTLY.
WE SAY AL-MINIUM BECAUSE WE'RE BRITISH.
I PREFER ALUMINUM BECAUSE IT'S EASIER TO SAY.
BUT COLON -- >> LOOK, YOU CHOSE TO MAKE THIS
SHOW IN AMERICA.
>> James: AND YOU CHOSE AS A NATION TO SPEAK ENGLISH.
( LAUGHTER ) AND I THINK IT'S THESE SMALL
MOVEMENTS, TAKING THE WORD CO-LON AND MAKING IT COLON,
THAT'S HOW YOU ENDED UP IN THIS ( BLEEP ) MESS.
THAT'S WHAT I THINK.
( LAUGHTER ) "DISLOYAL: A MEMOIR: THE TRUE
STORY OF THE FORMER PERSONAL ATTORNEY TO PRESIDENT DONALD J.
TRUMP."
YOU CAN TELL COHEN WAS A LAWYER.
THAT TITLE WAS DEFINITELY WRITTEN BY SOMEONE WHO GOT PAID
BY THE HOUR.
( LAUGHTER ) ACCORDING TO COHEN, TRUMP WASN'T
TOO FOND OR BELOVED SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT AND NOBEL
PEACE PRIZE WINNER NELSON MANDEL WHETHER.
TUMP DIDN'T LIKE MANDELA, HE DIDN'T LIKE OBAMA.
THERE'S A PATTERN HERE AND I CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON IT.
ACCORDING TO COHEN, TRUMP SAID -- AND THIS IS TRUE --
( BLEEP ) MANDELA, HE WAS NO LEADER.
IMAGINE SAYING THE WORDS ( BLEEP ) OUT LOUD.
TRUMP WENT ON TO SAY THE ONLY MENDEL LA I LIKE IS HOWIE.
( LAUGHTER ) AND FINALLY, DID YOU GUYS SEE
THIS?
SCIENTISTS HAVE REPORTED THAT MICE THEY GENETICALLY MUTATED TO
BE TWICE AS STRONG AS REGULAR MICE WERE ABLE TO MAINTAIN THEIR
MUSCLE MASS AFTER SPENDING A MONTH IN OUTER SPACE.
ACCORDING TO THE SCIENTISTS, THESE MICE RETURNED FROM THE
INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION WITH "RIPPED BODYBUILDER PHYSIQUES."
TIME AND TIME AGAIN SCIENTISTS ARE CRUSHING IT WHEN
IT COMES TO TACKLING THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS RIGHT NOW, AREN'T THEY?
IS RIPPED MICE A THING WE NEEDED?
( LAUGHTER ) WHO'S LOOKING AT MICE GOING
, YOU KNOW WHAT I'D LIKE TO SEE?
I'D LIKE TO SEE MORE MUSCLES ON THOSE MICE.
( LAUGHTER ) WE CAN DO THAT, DAVE.
WE'LL SEND THEM TO SPACE, SEE IF THEY CAN GET A SIX-PACK.
WHAT'S THIS GOING TO COST?
$75 MILLION.
TOTALLY WORTH IT.
MICE WITH RIPPED BODY BUILDER PHYSIQUES.
SO LOTS OF EXPLAINING NEXT TIME YOU TAKE YOUR CHILDREN TO DISNEY
WORLD AND THEY SEE THIS -- THAT'S WHAT WE DO AT THE END OF
A MONO, JUST GO TO A PHOTO.
( LAUGHTER ) WHAT IS IT, 1:00 IN THE MORNING?
IT'S 1:00 IN THE MORNING, IT'S A PHOTO OF A RIPPED MOUSE.
GET OVER IT.