-Michael Cohen took the stand as the prosecution's
star witness in Donald Trump's hush-money trial
and revealed private conversations he had with Trump
about that hush-money payment.
And Trump held a rally in New Jersey
where he attacked the prosecutor,
slammed Bruce Springsteen, and praised -- let me see here --
Oh! Hannibal Lecter. For more on this...
it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ]
You know, I'll admit -- when I first heard about
Trump's rally in New Jersey, I thought, "Hey, maybe
the guy's finally chilling out a little."
Because this is the headline I saw from "The New York Times."
Why does every "New York Times" headline about Trump
sound like an old-timey newsreel?
[Imitating 1940s announcer] Away from the confines of the courtroom,
Trump rallies beachside at the Jersey Shore!
Watch your French fries, Donald Trump!
Those seagulls are mighty hungry!
[Normal voice] Seriously, "New York Times," what do you do?
That headline sounds less like a description
of a wannabe dictator who's been indicted four times
and more like one of Carrie's columns from "Sex and the City."
[Delicately] "Away from the confines of the Manhattan dating scene,
I was able to rediscover myself beachside at the Jersey Shore.
Much like the oysters I had for lunch,
I was finally coming out of my shell."
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-[Normal voice] So the headline...
The headline made it sound pretty innocuous.
Let's see what Trump was talking about
at this picturesque beachside rally.
-I've come here from New York,
where I'm being forced to endure a Biden show trial,
all done by Biden.
[ Crowd jeering ] Carried out by ra--
That's right. All being done by him.
Hot dogs! Let's talk about hot dogs.
I just had one, actually.
I just had one. It was very good.
I just had a hot dog, and it was very good.
If some of these wackos came along,
you know, these liberal singers, they'd actually vote for me.
You know? They all vote for me.
They say, "Oh, Trump? I don't know."
You know, like, Bruce Springsteen.
We have a much bigger crowd than Bruce Springsteen.
Right? Much bigger.
I've been indicted more than the great Alphonse Capone.
"Scarface." Silence of the lamb.
Has anyone ever seen "Silence of the Lambs"?
The late, great Hannibal Lecter
is a wonderful man.
[ Laughter ]
-I know we take chunks of his speeches
and put them in "A Closer Look,"
but is he taking chunks of "Closer Looks"
and just putting them in his speeches now?
The whole time I was watching that,
I was thinking, "Is that a [bleep] bit we did?!
The late, great Hannibal Lec--
We [bleep] did that...
about him!"
Alright, well, let's see if we can get him
to say this the next time out.
[As Trump] The late, great Hannibal Lecter.
He came up to me once. Big Hannibal. Strong Hannibal.
Tears pouring down from his eyes
onto the face he was eating.
And he said to me, 'Mr. Trump, sir,
I would never take a bite out of you
because you have too much gristle.'"
[Normal voice] So if you're keeping track --
Though, why would you?
Springsteen and the district attorney are bad,
but Scarface, Hannibal Lecter, and hot dogs are good.
Seriously, who the hell goes to New Jersey
and attacks Bruce Springsteen?
What's next on your cross-country insult tour?
You gonna go to Boston and attack Ben Affleck
while you drink Starbucks in a Yankees hat?
But as far as singers go, that was not
the only weird thing Trump said at his rally.
-Frank Sinatra told me a long time ago,
"Never eat before you perform."
I said, "I'm not performing.
I'm a politician, if you can believe it."
-No. I can't believe it. Because -- And here's why.
Because Frank Sinatra died in 1998
and you became a politician in 2015,
so that conversation didn't happen.
And what would the context be for that, anyway?
Under what circumstances
would Frank Sinatra be talking to Donald Trump
and his main advice for Trump,
who, again, was neither a politician nor a TV personality
when Sinatra was alive, would be,
"Don't eat before you perform"?
Maybe Trump was offering Sinatra food, and that was his excuse.
"Hey, Frank, do you want some fast food?
It's been piled on this table for three hours."
"Thanks, Donny, but Frank doesn't eat before he performs.
Hey, get this [bleep] guy away from me.
[ Laughter ]
What am I paying my security for here?"
[ Cheers and applause ]
"Trying to get to stage.
There's a guy with sandwiches on a table!"
[ Laughter ]
But that was not the only story Trump told
that might make you wonder about his cognitive health.
He also tried to criticize Jimmy Carter
but could not remember his name.
Watch him stall until he finally
comes up with the name he's grasping for.
-The worst President by far.
Jimmy Connors is -- Jimmy -- [ Chuckles ]
Jimmy Connors is good. He's also happy.
Jimmy is a very happy man. Both of them.
Because you know what? They want him out.
Jimmy Carter.
-"Jimmy...Jimmy..."
It's like watching a guy try to start a lawnmower.
"Jimmy!
Do you remember our President -- Jimmy. Come on!
Jimmayyy!"
[ Laughter ]
So, just to recap,
"Hannibal Lecter" flows right off his tongue...
but he couldn't pull up former president Jimmy Carter.
And can we just agree to leave Jimmy Carter out of this?
The man's 99 years old,
has spent his post-presidency being quietly charitable
with organizations like Habitat for Humanity.
To put it in simpler terms, he's built more homes
than Hannibal Lecter has eaten faces.
Just take his name out of your mouth --
which shouldn't be hard because it's barely in your brain.
Also, for those of you too young to remember,
Jimmy Connors is a former world number-one tennis player
who did not serve as the 39th president.
Connors is remembered for many things,
including his rivalry with John McEnroe,
which is appropriate because when Trump couldn't remember
Jimmy Carter's name, I bet his aides were all like...
-You cannot be serious!
-But...
[ Laughter ]
Beachside vacations can only last so long.
And for Trump, it was back to the office,
a.k.a. the courtroom, today,
where he was confronted by reporters who wanted
to know what the hell he was talking about at that rally.
I mean...
[ Laughter ]
But if you didn't see Trump's rally,
you'd think from that line of questioning that
he was calling Hannibal Lecter as a witness in his trial.
"Dr. Lecter doesn't know anything about the case,
but he told me he'd be willing to eat Michael Cohen,
so we are..."
"Why Hannibal Lecter?" is such an amazing question
to yell at a presidential candidate.
By the way, that question nestled
between two other questions about his criminal trial
for defrauding voters by paying hush money to a porn star.
For any other presidential candidate,
getting asked the question, "Why Hannibal Lecter?"
would mean you're in a five-alarm [bleep] storm,
but for Trump, just a normal Monday.
Yeah, what was happening outside the courtroom
was still not as damning
as what was happening inside the courtroom,
where Trump's former fixer, Michael Cohen,
was detailing the arrangement to conceal Trump's affair
with Stormy Daniels from the voters.
The testimony began with a dramatic moment
in which the two former allies came face-to-face
with one another, and Cohen was asked to identify Trump.
-Michael Cohen has taken to the stand.
He actually was -- had to stand up
and identify what Donald Trump was wearing.
So the two men did come face-to-face, Vaughn.
-Right. Because of where the witness box is,
the view is obstructed between being able to see Donald Trump
and whoever's in the witness stand.
So when he was asked by the prosecutor
to identify Donald Trump in the room,
that's when he stood, and that's where they were
able to make their eye contact. -Alright.
First of all, you can't make direct eye contact with Trump,
or you'll turn to stone.
That's what happened to Mike Pence.
Second, why did Cohen have to identify what Trump was wearing?
In addition to his financial crimes,
is Trump also accused of a fashion crime?
"Mr. Cohen, what is Mr. Trump wearing?"
"Uh, I believe the suit is from Jos. A. Bank
Big and Baggies Men Outlet.
The tie is crazy.
Dave's Floor-Length Ties for Evening.
And I'm pretty sure those are my shoes."
[ Laughter ]
If there was ever a trial
where we didn't have to identify the defendant, it's this one.
Is the fear a juror's going to say,
"I don't think Stormy Daniels knew which one he was!
I think she's making it all up."
Part of why the prosecution called Cohen today
was to establish his credibility as Trump's former fixer,
because Cohen's account is central to the case.
For example, Cohen was the keeper of all of Trump's contacts.
-Cohen is saying he was
"spending a significant amount of time with Mr. Trump"
and Trump ultimately agreed to his contact numbers
being synced to Cohen's cellphone.
That way, when he traveled, if he needed
to get somebody on the phone, Cohen had the number.
More than 30,000 contacts in that phone account.
-Wow. He had more than 30,000 contacts in his phone.
And still no Eric. I'd ask...
[ Laughter ]
How do you get 30,000 contacts in your phone?
But I bet most of the people Trump is hanging out with
have, like, seven different numbers.
[As Giuliani] "Okay, boss, this is work. This is home.
This is the guy at the OTB.
This is the guy who knows the guy who will know where I am.
This is my cell number.
And this is my cell number for when I go to jail."
[ Laughter ]
But the most crucial testimony came
when Cohen relayed his conversations with Trump
about the hush-money payment, and he made it clear
Trump was concerned about the election.
Cohen testified...
And that's where Trump was wrong.
It wasn't just any guy who thought it was cool.
It was devout Christians!
[As Pence] "I may have fundamental disagreements
with President Trump regarding the outcome
of the 2020 election, but I will defend to the death
his right to get spanked on the ass by a porn star."
[ Laughter ]
Seriously, what "guys" did Trump have in mind?
"Guys will think it's cool -- like my best friends
Sinatra, Connors, and Hannibal Lecter!
We're going out later for hot dogs!"
[ Laughter ]
Cohen also revealed that Trump was not concerned
about any potential fallout for his marriage
if the story became public.
When Cohen raised Melania to Trump
regarding Stormy Daniels fallout,
Trump said, "Don't worry. How long do you think
I'll be on the market for? Not long."
Cohen says Trump "wasn't thinking about Melania.
This was all about the campaign."
It's unbelievable what this guy gets away with.
He says the worst [bleep] about his own family
and faces no consequences.
The worst thing I've ever said to a friend about my wife
is she doesn't watch this show,
and I'd be terrified if she found out --
until I remembered she never would
because she doesn't watch the show, so...
Trump really thought if he ended up getting divorced
for a third time after an affair with the porn star,
he'd crush it on the dating scene.
What would his Tinder bio say?
Cohen's testimony today cut to the heart of the case.
It was all about the election. Trump defrauded voters
so he could conceal the affair from them and become President.
The only thing he was wrong about was the backlash.
It turns out his base didn't care.
The MAGA crowd ate it up like...
-The late, great Hannibal Lecter!
-This has been "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ]