- Here we go.
I didn't clap.
Here we go.
Welcome to another exciting self indulgent game
brought to you by Claudia.
Let's meet our contestants.
Hello, and welcome.
- Wow, Claudia.
- To American's favorite game.
- Look.
- [Claudia] Come on in, folks.
- What the hell is going on.
- [Curly] Oh, wow.
- Hope you're excited to play.
Today we're playing everyone's favorite game
Know Your Claudia.
- I'm gonna win.
- No, no, no.
I'm gonna win.
I know my Claudia.
- It's the game of who knows me best.
- Claudia didn't start talking to me until last week.
- Bold claims from the peanut gallery.
- After a whole year.
- And the winner will win
a $50 gift certificate to Target.
- Yes! - Wow.
- Yes, I'm gonna win.
- Target, where every buy is a bullseye.
That's a free one for you, Target.
- Wait, we can't looks at each other's stuff, right?
- Question number one,
which one of these is my last Instagram post?
- Oh, I know this.
- Is it A?
- Shut up, don't say it.
- B? Or C?
- I'm done.
- Ready?
Let's see those answers.
- Yay!
- [Claudia] Oh my goodness!
- We been looking at your IG.
- Yeah, I took that picture.
That's why I know.
- Yeah, and I'm in the picture.
- [Claudia] Very impressed.
- Yeah, and I was there.
- Question number two.
- Do we get a lifeline?
- You do not.
- Yo se con quien hablar.
- Gadiel, callate.
Question number two,
what is my zodiac sign?
- When is your birthday?
- I can't spell it.
- I see Maya and Curly writing for a long time.
- No.
- [Julissa] Was her birthday recently?
- I'm ready.
- [Curly] We can't discuss.
- Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
When was her birthday?
We didn't do nothing recently for her birthday, did we?
- Three, two, one.
- Pisces.
- And the answer is.
Nope.
- Hey, I was gonna write one of those two,
Capricorn or Gemini.
- I need a $50 gift card.
- Y'all better remember when my birthday is, February 24.
That's for you, internet fans,
if you wanna send anything.
You know where we are.
Question number three,
I am gifted $100 by my tia,
do I spend it on,
A, a spa day,
B, my credit card bill,
or C, a nice meal?
- I know.
- Here we go.
The answer is C.
(Gadiel cheers)
A nice meal.
I am fiscally irresponsible,
but I would never get myself a spa day.
$100 on me?
- You get massages all the time
- That's a lot.
Oh.
- You went to the massage place this weekend.
- A Thai massage here or there.
- Yo, mueve la cabeza.
- Number four, which Disney princess do I relate to most?
- I know which one.
- A, Belle,
B, Jasmine,
or C, Pocahontas.
- Say them one more time.
- A, Belle.
- What? (laughing)
- The most feminist one.
Which one is it?
- Yeah, who was a feminist?
- [Claudia] They're all pretty feminist.
- I got this one.
- Me too.
- Answer is A.
- Fuck!
(Gadiel and Curly cheer)
No!
- Jasmine is a close second,
but I just wished I was Jasmine when I was really Belle.
Score recap real fast.
We got Maya in at 10 points,
Gadiel at a surprising everybody with a 15.
Curly with a 15,
and Julissa trailing behind with a five.
- We're almost halfway through.
Number five, how old is Oscar in human years?
- What kind of questions are these?
- Claudia, no.
- Claudia, that's a fucked up question.
- I didn't even know his name was Oscar.
- Is he A, 35,
B, 28,
or C, 14?
The answer is 35.
- No!
- Damn.
- Because everybody knows that the first two years
of a cat's life are equivalent to 12 years,
and then after that it's four years for every year,
and since Oscar is about almost five,
he is 35.
- Nobody cares about cats, Claudia.
- All right, if you care about a $50 gift certificate,
you're gonna care about cats.
Question six, earlier today I told you about a dream I had.
- You didn't tell me.
- What sandwich was I eating?
- Damn it!
- Shit.
- In the dream.
- [Maya] You told me about this.
- You did say that.
- Oh, because you told me,
I was eating a sandwich.
- I told you.
- But I didn't listen because I was eating my sandwich.
- No one listens to me.
All right, was it a, pastrami?
- Oooh.
- I know, I know.
- I know it.
- I wrote it before.
- The answer is a Reuben.
- First time I read a text.
I read the motherfucking text.
- I said this out loud to Maya and Julissa,
and we can pull up the text I sent to Curly and Gadiel.
- And people should pay attention
to Claudia when she texts them.
Ya I really do not care.
- Callate!
- Number seven, what is my middle name?
Is it A, Emilia,
B, Cecilia,
or C, trick question,
I don't have one?
- A.
- No!
(Julissa cheers)
- Number eight, which of these to I hate?
A, eggs,
B, Trident gum,
or C, blue foods?
- I hate blue food.
- What is that?
What is blue food?
- Like blue coloring.
- Three, two, one.
That answer is C.
- Damn!
I said it, I was gonna put that.
- I don't like this at all.
Stop it!
- I only talked to her for like five minutes,
and I remember this shit.
- Number nine.
- The only one that can get up to me.
- Shh... cállate.
- What is my greatest fear?
And this one does not have a preset answer.
- What?
We shouldn't have, meh.
- Wait, your greatest fear in what way?
- What's my greatest fear,
not what am I afraid of.
- I want to write men really big.
(group laughs)
- Time, let's see.
Being alone, trusting myself,
blue food, and, uh.
- Getting pregnant,
slash getting pregnant by the wrong person.
- Oooh, the answer is there isn't really an answer.
I was just curious as to what you guys would say.
- What the hell? This one.
- I will award five points to the best answer.
It's definitely between getting pregnant
by the wrong person and being alone.
- [Curly] Boo.
- I'm gonna give five points to each of you.
- Yes!
Come on, Maya.
- Question number 10,
which Harry Potter house am I?
- Son of a bitch.
- What is it, Maya?
- No.
No!
- Which one am I?
- Damn, I don't even know any of this stuff.
- Let's see those answers.
- Ravenclaw.
- No, you're changing your answers.
- Doesn't matter, doesn't matter.
She hasn't said.
- She changed it, she changed it.
- It doesn't matter.
- She did change it.
- Which one are you going with?
Four, three, two, one,
and the answer is Ravenclaw.
(Maya and Curly cheer)
- Damn it.
I was there, I could have done it.
- You were copying me.
- You gotta do what you gotta do sometimes.
- [Maya] Curly copied me.
- We have some incredible points going on here.
We have Gadiel and Curly tied with 25.
- And me and Maya are tied.
- And we have Julissa and Maya tied with 20.
This is our double down.
- Ooh, double or nothing.
- For this one you can bet how many points
you would like to ride on this next answer.
If you get it incorrect,
you will lose those points.
They will be deducted.
Was I, in my not so long ago youth,
an NSYNC fan, or a Backstreet Boys gal?
- God damn.
- Was I an NSYNC fan or a Backstreet Boys gal?
Let's see those boards.
Let's see, I see all for B Boys.
I see five for NSYNC,
five for NSYNC, and all for NSYNC.
This is so interesting,
I can't wait to add up these points,
and the answer is Backstreet Boys.
- You know why?
Because I was a Backstreet Boys fan.
AJ McLean, get it.
- Interesting, interesting.
All right, so here's what we have.
In fourth place, we have Maya.
Sweet, sweet, innocent Maya.
- You gotta start having conversations with Claudia.
- No.
- I will throw a lunch on the calendar
so we can really get to know each other.
Tied for second place, Gadiel and Curly,
with 20 each, and the winner take all,
with a whopping 40 points, Julissa.
Yes, Target, yes.
- Julissa, my only friend.
- Let me come over here.
- Oh, come over here, girlfriend.
Let's see what happens next time
on the next Claudia challenge.
Who can take care of Oscar for a whole week?
- Oh, you can't stop me for that one.
I'm out.
I'm done with that shit.
Definitely not.
- [Gadiel] I should get at least half the Target card.
Half.
- [Julissa] Absolutely not.
It's okay, Curly wants to win that one.
When do I get my gift card?