(bag crinkling)
(jazzy music)
- One way to find out.
Mm-hmm.
Whoa.
(Evelyn laughing)
Why?
Yuck.
It really is a paste.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yuck, yuck butts.
This special edition of Smack Yo Lip
is part of my new variety show Evelyn and Friends.
New episodes every Friday.
♪ Evelyn and Friends ♪
- This is Smack Yo Lip.
The segment where I taste and or prepare beverages
and or foodstuffs
and share my thoughts on them.
Today's culinary adventure
Uncrustables.
(crowd applauding)
Hey Iris
play the disclaimer.
- [Iris] You may be subject to mouth sounds
of varying intensity, including, but not limited to
chewing, chomping, sipping, swallowing
and smacking.
Viewer discretion is advised.
(water bubbling)
- In the spirit of children, in the spirit of childhood
not mine though.
Mama Evelyn from the internets would say no.
(Evelyn laughing)
You're in the background, having flashbacks of being denied.
(Evelyn laughing)
I wanted, what I really wanted to do
was focus on the savory Uncrustables
but I felt like I couldn't do that
without giving you a baseline.
So I just got a good old fashioned
peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich Uncrustable.
(plastic crinkling)
It's soft.
(squishing sound effect)
It's pillowy.
It honestly smells pretty good.
Should I open?
I think I'll open it.
♪ Hallelujah ♪
Okay, it's, I don't know what I was expecting.
It's PB and J.
(bell dinging)
(crowd applauding and cheering)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
That's good.
Now, I don't know how you can mess up PB and J.
I give that, honestly, five out of five
Smack Yo Lip emojis.
I have nothing bad to say.
I have nothing creative or colorful.
It's giving me exactly what I need
but I knew that would be the case.
I just wanted to ease us into the real
the real troublemakers.
Ham and cheddar
and turkey and Colby Jack.
There was a third one.
It is now discontinued.
I went all around the United States of America
(crowd applauding)
y'all, I'm telling the truth
Evelyn and Friends, I'm telling the truth
went all around the United States of America
to find a third flavor, which was, can you guess?
Taco bites?
(Evelyn laughing)
They don't make it no more.
It's not even on the website.
They got rid of it, okay?
So, we'll never know.
In the comments, let me know if you know
but we're gonna dig in to the ham and cheese
and the turkey and cheese.
(bag crinkling)
One way to find out.
(squishing sound effect)
It's giving a good old fashioned yeast roll.
Whoa.
(Evelyn laughing)
That's foul.
(intense music)
(Evelyn sighing)
I can't do this.
(Evelyn spitting) - [Person Off Camera] Ew.
- If you hate children, go ahead and give them that.
Me, myself, and I
the Evelyn in Evelyn and Friends
I love kids.
E.v.e. love kids.
I would never do that to the children in my life.
That was giving
(Evelyn exhaling)
you know how there's ground beef?
That was ground ham.
It was ground ham-baloney.
It's giving leftovers
but it's giving the leftovers that been left.
Yuck.
The ham got a smokiness to it.
Mm, it's a no.
I have nothing further to say.
Yuck.
Score?
You want me to give it a rating?
(buzzer buzzing)
Negative one
Smack Yo Lip emojis.
To ruin something as easy
as a ham and cheese sandwich
when you are Smuckers
and I mean, that's what they get, right?
They specialize in PB and J.
Call me when Hillshire Farms makes a Uncrustable
trademark, a crustless ham and cheese sandwich.
Call me when Kraft does it.
Oscar Meyer.
Leave this to Hot Pockets.
Yeah, leave it to the pros.
I wanna talk about No Child Left Behind.
No child gets a ham and cheese Uncrustable.
They don't deserve that.
I will make the sandwiches by hand myself
for every child in America
and you can take that to the bank Evelyn and Friends.
(crowd cheering)
Turkey and Colby Jack.
(bag crinkling)
Another roll.
We're gonna separate it.
Not as disgusting as ham and cheese
but at the end of the day, why?
First of all, that's giving Field Day sandwiches
that the mom brought
that doesn't really be involved in anything in the school.
No, Cheryl, we don't need a ham and cheese.
We're good, actually, with our orange slices.
It's a paste.
It really is.
It really is a paste.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yuck, yuck butts.
You see, you see?
What, what, what, what?
What is it?
Smuckers, if you're watching
send it back.
The children
of the world
deserve better.
(crowd applauding)
Yeah, thank you.
Yes.
It's easy.
It's easy to love the children.
Negative one outta five Smack Yo Lip emojis.
I should have known.
Look at the photo.
The photo is
accurate
and it don't look good in the photo.
(crows applauding and cheering)
Now if you wanna watch hashtag Baby Blo try these flavors
consider becoming a Patreon cousin.
Visit us over at Patreon.com/
from the internets.
See you there.
(crowd applauding and cheering)
♪ Evelyn and Friends ♪
(upbeat music)