-and the Ranger Unification Treaty allowed the Desert Rangers and you NCR Rangers to
play nice with each other. If you ever visit New Vegas you can see the monument to the
treaty in the Mojave outpost on Interstate 15…
This guy is literally incapable of shutting his mouth…
It’s like he doesn’t even care that we’re barely listening to him. Who is he talking
to?
…but the Desert Rangers played a role in the NCR's beginnings, back when this city
was still called Shady Sands.
Ugh! When can I shoot this guy?
Wait! Tanner wants to speak to him first.
You see, the Vault Dweller traveled with a fellow named Tycho who was a Desert Ranger
who headed West. Met the Vault Dweller in Junktown, about the same time that they adopted
that little dog. By the time The Vault Dweller ended up in the Boneyard, they'd amassed quite
the little gang of misfits-
I don't care what Tanner says, I'm getting the mini-nuke.
Aw, don't go. I haven't told you about Katja yet.
Going somewhere, Ranger?
Sorry, ma'am. Just, uh… interrogating the prisoner.
That's my job.
Yes ma'am!
You can both wait outside now.
Um, are you sure? I heard he once battled a dozen Legionaries with nothing but a laser
rifle and survived.
Actually I prefer to use a tri-beam laser rifle.
Ma’am, I think he’s more dangerous than he lets on…
That's fine. Because I'm exactly as dangerous as I let on. You can go.
I'm Helen Tanner. NCR Rangers.
Name and rank withheld as per Brotherhood protocol when captured by hostile savages.
Didn't ask. The NCR already knows all about you. And we have a proposition...You're
a data procurement specialist. Travel the wasteland documenting everything you can.
I do get around.
And you somehow learned the location of Vault 13 and just strolled on in, thinking we wouldn't
notice. Illegal prospecting at Vault 13 is a serious offense. My men were ready to drop
a mini-nuke on you back there.
And yet, they’re waiting outside. On your orders.
I'm ready to offer you a pardon for all criminal acts committed in NCR territory, and for any
war crimes you may have been party to during the NCR/Brotherhood war-
That's mighty generous.
That’s if you agree to help the NCR recover an “item” that went missing. We need someone
who's been East of Legion territory. We tracked this “item” into the Big Empty, and then
through New Vegas. Sometime last night it crossed the Colorado River into Legion territory.
We think it'll keep heading East until it reaches the coast, maybe the Commonwealth,
or the Capital Wasteland. You've been there and back. You help me find it, and we're square.
And if I don't feel like taking a stroll through Legion territory?
Then you stand trial for being a Brotherhood spy who infiltrated one of the most well-kept
secrets in the Republic- and end up in front of a firing squad. Or I can just empty my
Sequoia into your head right now.
You know they named those revolvers after a kind of tree that used to grow in California.
Their trunks were so thick they could stop a Highwayman-
My ancestors came out of Vault 15. There's not a damned thing you can tell me about California
that I don't already know. Now, you want this deal or not?
I bet the second President of the NCR told me a few things you don't know about your
Republic.
That's Brahmin shit. I suppose you're gonna tell me you met The Vault Dweller in person
next?
Nope. The Vault Dweller disappeared before I was born. President Tandi, on the other
hand... She was about a hundred years old when I met her, and that was forty years ago.
But she was still sharp enough to tell me all about the Vault Dweller's adventure in
Shady Sands.
Every kid in the NCR knows that story. 2161, years before she became president, but she
was already a tactical genius when she was just a teenager-
- she led the Vault Dweller and the Shady Sands militia against the Khans and the other
raider tribes. Her leadership and strategy allowed them to clear out the savages and
pave the way for the Republic... and civilization. Now, quit stalling.
If that's what you believe… What she told me is that she was a naive, bored, young girl
back then, and she got kidnapped by the Khans-
-so The Vault Dweller and a man called Ian had to come rescue her.
Wait. So you’re telling me the greatest political mind of the last two centuries was
some damsel in distress?
By her own admission. She also used to tip over sleeping Brahmin when she got bored.
Moo!
Once your face is on money, the folk tales you star in take on a life of their own. You
want the real history of the wasteland, find an old-timer who heard the story in their
youth. Even First Ranger Seth started as a mere militia chief fighting radscorpions.
They're fueling my Vertibird now. Soon as it's ready, I'm heading to Vegas, with or
without you.
The man who founded the New California Republic Rangers, who are "Quieter than a shadow and
more ferocious than a Deathclaw", started as a village guard dealing with bugs.
Making me angry isn't going to change the terms of the deal. It's just gonna make me
forget about the firing squad, drop a couple of pulse grenades, and settle your hash right
here.
You must be real quick if you can do that before I have a chance to counter that move.
Lucky for me, I am that fast, but this isn't the only pulse grenade around here. My men
put a few inside that little eyebot of yours.
ED-NA has nothing to do with this!
This negotiation goes sour, we fry your eyebot's data, its Automated Personality Matrix, its-
Her Automated Personality Matrix.
You Brotherhood technophiles... You think of that thing as your pet don't you?
So take the deal, and help us stick it to the Legion. Or we kill you and your pet hubcap.
This item we're tracking has a head start on us. I'm heading out now… Yes or no...
Can't fly East of the Hoover dam without alerting the Legion, but we can take the vertibird
to Camp McCarran in Nevada. After that we travel by land.
I don’t take another step until I know EDNA is safe.
Rick.
Yeah?
Let the flying toaster go.
*happy beep*
Yeah, Daddy missed you too, ED-NA.
Yuck.
Now we can go.
The East Coast is three thousand miles away.
Yup.
I don't want you yapping the whole way.
Understood.
No longwinded stories about the first person who baked Fancy Lad Snack Cakes.
Mm hm.
Anything comes out of your mouth better be one hundred percent relevant to the mission.
Roger. Although Fancy Lads aren't actually baked, they congeal at room temperature into
a cake-like substance…
Can somebody get a gag on this guy?
… I’ve bumped into more than a few of their billboards in my day. The slogan claims
“a big delight in every bite”, and a blue label proudly announces to the world that
these spongy snack cakes were America’s favorite food…