GENDER ROLES CAN HAVE A
HUGE YOU CAN ON YOUR
RELATIONSHIPS WHEN WE ARE NOT
AWARE OF THEM.
UNDERSTANDING MESSAGES WITH
RECEIVE FROM OUR FAMILIES AND
MEDIA IS A KEY TO UNDERSTANDING
HOW WE ARE WITH EACH OTHER.
OUR RELATIONSHIP GURU IS HERE
TO EXPLORE SOME OF THE WAYS
GENDER ROLES INFLUENCE OUR
RELATIONSHIPS.
MAYBE IT IS HELPFUL TO START
WITH A DEFINITION OF GENDER
ROLE.
WHEN THE WE TALK ABOUT
GENDER ROLES WE ARE NOT TALKING
ABOUT DIFFERENCES NECESSARILY
BETWEEN THE GENDERS OR WHETHER
PEOPLE ARE TREATED EQUALLY OR
UNEQUALLY.
WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE
MESSAGES WE HAVE TAKEN IN ABOUT
WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A MAN OR
WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A WOMAN IN
OUR SOCIETY.
GIVEN THAT WE ARE DEFINING IT
ON THE GENDER BINARY LIKE THAT.
I THINK SOMETIMES IT IS THE
TRADITIONAL MOM WHO COOKS, DAD
TAKES OUT THE TRASH.
EXACTLY.
WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT IN
RELATIONSHIPS TO EVEN HAVE THIS
DISCUSSION?
SO, LIKE TO AS IN EVERYTHING
WITH RELATIONSHIPS, THE MORE
YOU CAN TALK ABOUT WHAT IS
GOING ON THE BETTER.
SO, WHEN PEOPLE PARTNER UP, IT
IS IMPORTANT THAT THERE IS A
CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT ARE
YOU GOING TO DO?
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
YOU RUN INTO PROBLEMS WHEN
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE HOW
PEOPLE EXPECT TO BE.
THE TRADITIONAL IS MAN ARE THE
PROVIDERS.
WE KNOW 46% OF MARRIED WOMEN
OUTEARN THEIR HUSBANDS.
I CAN TELL YOU THAT'S
WONDERFUL.
MY WIFE CAN MAKE MORE MONEY AS
FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.
SOME GUYS ARE UNCOMFORTABLE
WITH THAT.
SOME GUYS FEEL THEY ARE NOT
DOING THE ROLES THEY WERE
TRAINED AND BROUGHT UP TO DO.
THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
BEING AWARE THAT WE ARE GETTING
THESE MESSAGES FROM SOCIETY.
I KNOW PLENTY OF COUPLES WHERE
THE MAN COOKS AND CLEANS OR THE
MAN IS THE STAY AT HOME DAD.
IF THAT'S THE ARRANGEMENT
WITHIN THE COUPLE THAT'S GREAT.
WHAT PARTS OF THE
RELATIONSHIP DO YOU SEE BEING
AFFECTED BY THIS?
IT IS GREAT IF IT ALL WORKS OUT
AND IT IS PERFECT.
IF SOMEONE IS UNCOMFORTABLE
THAT'S WHERE THINGS GET WEIRD.
I'LL TELL YOU A GENDER ROLE
ISSUE THAT I THINK IS ONE THAT
IS KIND OF SUBTERRANEAN.
ITS SAYS THAT WOMEN, THE THING
IS THERES THAT BEEN QUITE A BIT
OF RESEARCH ON THIS.
IT IS NOT LIKE THERE ARE NOT
PARTS THAT AREN'T TRUE.
GENDER ROLE ISSUE THAT DOES A
DISSERVICE TO MEN AND WOMEN IS
THE ONE THAT SAYS WOMEN ARE
BETTER AT RELATIONSHIPS.
AND THAT THEREFORE THEY SHOULD
TAKE MORE RESPONSIBILITY FOR
THE RELATIONSHIP.
RIGHT HERE YOU CAN SEE, A,
WOMEN ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MORE
RESPONSIBLE BECAUSE WE ARE
BETTER AND SOCIABLE.
MEN IT IS NOT SO MUCH THEY GET
LET OFF THE HOOK.
THEY DON'T GET TO PARTICIPATE
EQUALLY.
SO THIS IS WHAT CAN HAPPEN IN
RELATIONSHIPS.
YOU SEE IT WITH PARENTING,
TOO.
THERE IS A POPULAR CONVENTION
THAT THE MOTHER IS THE BETTER
PARENT.
NO, MOM KNOWS.
DAD IS AN IDIOT.
DADS TODAY ARE MORE CARING THAN
BEFORE.
IT IS COMMERCIAL AFTER
COMMERCIAL WHERE THE DUMB DAD
SAYS SORRY.
I HAD NO IDEA.
THE MESSAGES WE GET IS DADS
DON'T KNOW.
DADS DO KNOW.
IT LET'S SOME DADS OFF THE
TOOK OR ADD EXTRA PRESSURE ON
SOME MOMS.
WHAT ABOUT SAME-SEX
RELATIONSHIPS?
I FEEL LIKE OFTEN TIMES PEOPLE
ASSIGN GENDER ROLE VARIES.
YOU ARE THE HUSBAND.
YOU ARE THE WIFE.
EXACTLY.
THIS COMES OUT WHEN THEY ARE
RAISING CHILDREN.
SOMETHING THAT'S INTERESTING IS
RECENT RESEARCH INDICATES IN
SAME-SEX COUPLES THE GENDER
ROLE ISSUE IS NOT THERE.
MEN DON'T FEEL SO PULLED
BECAUSE YOU ARE EITHER BOTH MEN
OR BOTH WOMEN.
IT IS EASIER TO NEGOTIATE THOSE
DIFFERENCES.
GOOD.
IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW ABOUT
IT.
IT IS NOT BAD.
EXACTLY.
WHATEVER YOU DECIDE IS REALLY
FINE.
IT IS JUST THAT YOU BOTH NEED
TO BE ON BOARD.
AND YOU NEED TO BE TALKING
ABOUT IT AND AWARE.