- "No offense but..." (buzzing)
- Offense taken!
"Babies are grumpy old...?"
(buzzing) How could you say that?
They're adorable!
"Pink for girls, blue..." No way!
You can't color code people by their gender!
- How many times are you gonna get--
This one? - "Happy birthday?" No!
Every day in your life is as important as the other!
What do you mean by happy birthday?
"It's too hot?" (buzzing)
Well, guess what?
People in Africa are hotter than you.
- Okay, last one, please be happy with this.
- Come on!
"Puppies are cute."
Yeah, puppies are pretty cute.
- Outrage culture, people are angry for...
- Other people, yeah. - Other people.
- They find something to be outraged by
and they just stick to it.
They just get angry at the menial, the smallest thing!
- I think hiding behind a keyboard,
you can't really tell if they're offended or not.
- Yeah. - Face-to-face,
I could be like, "You're not that offended.
You're just saying that 'cause you wanna be offended."
I think we need a point system, you know?
'Cause at this point we're trying to
out-outrage other people, right?
- Yeah, yeah. - So, we should just
have this point system where we know how outraged you are.
- Yeah, everything in the world is run by data.
So, once we get the data of who gets outraged more,
who gets outraged less. - Exactly, it's like the
social credit system in China.
- China (chuckles)! - The outrage credit system.
- Yeah, I mean China got the right idea, wrong execution.
- Exactly, you should put it on outrage culture.
- Outrage culture, you do this social credit score.
You wanna go to a comedy show?
You must not have been outraged by a joke in your life.
- Oh, really? - If you ever got
outraged by a joke. - It's that?
Okay, that's harsh. - You can not ever.
You can never enter a comedy club anymore.
- We should take this up a notch.
I think we should actually just make countries this way.
So, all the people who like to be outraged.
You can live together! - Yeah!
- Yeah, have a great time!
- Yeah, and be angry at each other all you want.
- Just go at each other. - Just don't bother
the people who are not angry at anything.
- Yeah, and the people who never get offended,
we can all live in the same place.
- Yeah, but who gets to pick though?
- Oh yeah!
- The score, who is actually--
- Who gets to rate if you're outraged?
- I say, comedians.
We hold the moral code to a high standard (chuckles).
- (chuckles) Yeah, exactly!
And the different communities put
a different weight on different people.
- I know, we judge each other.
We judge human beings on how they get outraged and stuff.
And they judge us on how funny we are.
- Oh, yeah. - So that the funnier
you are, the more your vote counts.
- That's a balanced-- - Yeah, so it's balanced!
Yeah, and funny will be a social credit.
- Yeah. - 'Cause if you get angry
you live in the sh*t places. (Brian laughs)
The desert in Egypt, you know?
Because there's nothing there!
So, there's nothing to be angry at.
If you're in the desert. - Well, that makes sense.
- There's nothing around, what are you gonna get angry at
when there's nothing around?
- Oh, these people will find a way.
- We should have a Fight Club.
We'll start our own MMA organization.
- A real world Fight Club, yeah.
- Yeah, we have an MMA organization
purely to settle online beefs.
- Yeah, it's almost like a roast battle, but physically.
And then at the end you hug...
- A roast battle physically, it's called a fight.
- (laughs) It's just a fight. - It's called a fight.
- Yeah, which also works though.
- Yeah. - It helps deal with
your anger. - We should just do it.
- We should stratify it a little bit.
Like, leatherweight, heavyweight outragers.
- Heavyweight outragers, the basic divisions, like--
- Yeah, and their physical build is the exact opposite.
- (laughs) Is it by weight class?
No, it's by outrage class. - Yeah, yeah.
The lightweighted outragers, they're all bulky.
Like, you offended by that?
Not really. - The lightweight outragers
are comedians, we barely get outraged.
- We're like, so lightweight. - But then, the heavyweight,
it will be the scrawniest human being
because they have so much anger!
- And they've got wheelchairs (laughs).
- 'Cause they hate everything.
They're angry at everything in life.
The main event is just two small people
just trying to fight it out. - Yeah, just trying to
poke each other. (both laugh)
- I think we did it. - Yeah, we solved it!
- We solved everything. - Solved that right now.
- You wanna? - Bring it in, man!
- You wanna hug it out? - Yeah, let's hug it out, brother!
- Oh, I can't believe you did that?
What the hell, you don't just do that!
I'm triggered, man! - But, but...?
- Come on!
- You smell good.