ALEX ROY: I didn't pack because I left all of my
clothes in Los Angeles when I came from New York.
I also forgot.
Also, I was playing Civilization.
Most importantly, it's because I like to contribute to the
economy of this country.
I also have no clothes that fit.
Hence, I'm on a diet.
So there are a lot of reasons not to pack anything.
And I also hear there's great shopping in Reno, which is why
we're here.
MALE SPEAKER: I've never heard that.
[MUSIC-SAXAPHONE AND HORN]
ALEX ROY: Yeah.
Now you're talking.
J.F. MUSIAL: Do you approve?
ALEX ROY: Yes I approve.
J.F. MUSIAL: G37 IPL.
ALEX ROY: I was waiting for you all night.
Thank you for bringing this beautiful car.
Nice work.
J.F. MUSIAL: Why do you look like you came out of Rocky?
ALEX ROY: It's freezing here.
This is the Philadelphia of the west.
I was up all night waiting for you.
J.F. MUSIAL: Oh yeah, I was up all night
getting the car here.
ALEX ROY: I was up all night gambling to pay for the hotel
room the budget wouldn't cover, in
beautiful Harrah's casino.
J.F. MUSIAL: You didn't have to stay here.
ALEX ROY: Yeah, I did.
J.F. MUSIAL: Only schmucks stay here.
ALEX ROY: It's me.
J.F. MUSIAL: So we're going to Groom Lake.
ALEX ROY: Area 51.
J.F. MUSIAL: You know we can't actually go to Area 51.
And we're probably not going to actually see
anything but mountains.
ALEX ROY: Secret roads in, little alien,
I know my way in.
Let's go.
J.F. MUSIAL: It's like an eight hour drive.
ALEX ROY: It's nothing.
That's eight hours?
Come on let's go.
J.F. MUSIAL: OK.
Hey, hey.
You actually caught it.
I'm actually surprised by that.
Excuse the stench.
[BLOWING AIR]
ALEX ROY: It's cold out there.
Waking up in Reno.
Praying for J.F.'s arrival with a car.
And then seeing him in front of the Harrah's with a G37
IPL, an Infinity black/red interior waiting for me.
That's true friendship.
J.F. MUSIAL: You're turning around.
They want us to go back.
ALEX ROY: Where are we going?
J.F. MUSIAL: We have to go back.
They have--
ALEX ROY: So I should just turn around.
J.F. MUSIAL: Yes.
ALEX ROY: Wow.
Can we play that whole sequence back?
Besides, this is part of the fun, this exploration.
Beautiful downtown Reno.
I like it here.
It's just no pretense.
In Vegas I always feel like, oh, there's somewhere better I
should be in this town, I just don't know where it is.
In Reno I know for a fact where ever I am, there's
nothing better.
And the police are nice.
I'm just always having a nice time here.
When in Reno, or when traveling anywhere and missing
critical items, like I was.
Items say, like underwear, or a sweater, or even warm shoes.
I highly recommend finding the nearest outlet mall.
In our case we located one of the great, according to Yelp,
top five attractions in Reno.
And that would be the Outlets at Legends off of I-80 East,
Sparks, Nevada.
This is a form of living hell.
J.F. MUSIAL: This is hell.
ALEX ROY: This is just like a zombie movie.
You wonder why zombie movies are so successful in this
country, and now you know.
J.F. MUSIAL: Look at this, look at this.
ALEX ROY: It's awesome.
It's awesome.
I need them.
J.F. MUSIAL: What do you need those for?
We're going to the desert.
ALEX ROY: I need warm shoes.
J.F. MUSIAL: What about the [INAUDIBLE].
ALEX ROY: Oh, I like that.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Where are you guys from?
J.F. MUSIAL: New York.
ALEX ROY: New York.
FEMALE SPEAKER: New York?
What brings you all the way out here?
ALEX ROY: We're on a road trip to Area 51.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Are you?
ALEX ROY: Yeah.
FEMALE SPEAKER: $57.12
ALEX ROY: By the way, did you see the bargains in Reno?
$107.
I mean, given that I've been wearing the same clothes for
four days, this is enough clothes for two weeks.
The fabled rocks of Bone Henge.
J.F. MUSIAL: What is wrong with you?
ALEX ROY: Oh, God.
J.F. MUSIAL: Dude.
ALEX ROY: You see my balls?
Did you see what I got?
Did you?
J.F. MUSIAL: OK.
Now that you have your slippers can we get going?
ALEX ROY: Yeah.
J.F. MUSIAL: We've got 700 miles to go and
it's already noon.
ALEX ROY: Dude, it's not noon.
I-80 is the traditional cross country route, east coast to
west coast.
Formally known as the Lincoln Highway, we followed this east
of Reno towards Area 51, which brought us to an A7 Corsair.
Beautiful Fallen, Nevada.
Here, an A7 Corsair.
The first evidence of the military testing that's been
going on in the area.
Going back 50, 60 years.
And most interestingly, you'll notice on the map of the area,
you'll see in the middle of the map, hidden lakes.
J.F. MUSIAL: I'm sorry, hidden caves.
MALE SPEAKER 1: Hidden caves, yes.
ALEX ROY: So there's a long history of the weird secret
locations around here.
I cannot wait to see one.
J.F. MUSIAL: Look, it's got little arm that sticks out for
air-to-air refueling.
That's pretty cool.
ALEX ROY: That's called technology, old technology.
Amy So this book that just came out about Area 51 claimed
that the UFO, the Roswell crash--
J.F. MUSIAL: Oh, yeah.
ALEX ROY: You hear about the-- it was the
stupidest claim ever.
J.F. MUSIAL: Yeah, it was a Russian spy plane with the
dwarf inside?
ALEX ROY: Dwarves that had been like
mutilated by Joseph Mengele.
Like it was a completely, ridiculous claim.
J.F. MUSIAL: Yeah.
[INAUDIBLE]
ALEX ROY: Yeah, and that using saucer technology, which the
Soviets never employed since.
So it makes no sense.
We then followed State Road 95 South, stopping at a gas
station which could only be described as one of the most
primitive, pre-industrial, locations in American
archaeological history.
J.F. MUSIAL: This is the slowest gas pump in the world.
It would be faster if there was a barrel of gas and I was
pouring it in myself.
I've been here for a full 20 minutes.
ALEX ROY: And how many gallons?
J.F. MUSIAL: Eight gallons.
Just now approaching eight gallons.
MALE SPEAKER 1: We're in the desert.
We're stopped for gas.
Slowest pump in the world.
We're on like gallon nine.
It's been about 10 minutes.
I guess things move slow out here.
MALE SPEAKER 2: Thank you sir.
MALE SPEAKER 1: I don't know.
It was going so slow.
We've been waiting about 20 minutes.
[INAUDIBLE]
MALE SPEAKER 1: The thing overflowed.
I've never seen that happen.
It was going so slow.
[MUSIC]
ALEX ROY: Walker Lake.
What do geologists, exobiologists and researchers
of invertebrate intelligence have in common?
This location.
Formed 285 million years ago, today Walker Lake is best
known for a combination of mysteries.
First, the creation of these unusual steps.
Clearly no life form anywhere in the fossil record could
possibly have required such a structure.
Either to survive, or to feed in water of this depth.
Secondly, invertebrate intelligence is the only
possible explanation for the fossil formations located deep
under the water here in, Walker Lake, Northern Nevada.
Thirdly, I made all this up.
I have no idea what I'm talking about.
We're on the way to Area 51.
It seemed like a cool place to stop.
I look forward to discussing more of this later, in my new
segment, made up history.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ALEX ROY: Heading further south on State Road 95 one
begins to see clusters.
Then dozens of clusters.
Then hundreds of clusters.
Then literally thousands and thousands of small structures
scattered throughout the desert.
Deep into the hills on all sides and up the
mountainsides, more concrete bunkers surrounded by sand
traps, barbed wire, and gates.
This, again--
not listed on any map that we'd seen
before getting there--
is the Hawthorne US Army Depot.
The largest ammunition site in the world.
This is beautiful Hawthorne, Nevada.
Population 3,311.
Home to the Hawthorne Ordnance Depot of the US Army, which
it's main gate is one mile away.
Also home to the Mineral County Museum.
A museum of minerals from the county, which I've wanted to
visit my entire life.
But most importantly we can thank Hawthorne for being the
supplier of the explosive used by geologists and
archaeologists who, accidentally having blown up a
nearby hill, exposed the Viking vessel underneath
Walker Lake.
The vessel that has caused so much
controversy in northern Nevada.
The only thing scarier than driving cross country at high
speed, alone, is driving across Nevada at
medium speed alone.
Because, where we were there's no paramedics, there's no
highway patrol--
forget giving you a ticket--
there to help you should you break down.
It is beautiful, and terrifying, and lonely, and
must be seen to truly understand what it was like to
travel 100 years ago.
Because, even today in a modern car, in a G37 IPL, an
amazing car, it can take you across Nevada at 100 miles an
hour, silently and comfortably.
But no car, not even that, can get you across that distance
fast enough to escape the feeling of terror and
loneliness that I, as a modern driver, feel.
J.F. MUSIAL: Alex, we've made it.
ALEX ROY: I made it.
You're here.
J.F. MUSIAL: I just drove you here.
You fell asleep in the car.
ALEX ROY: Your journey and my being a passenger in the
vehicle means nothing.
Look how far our visitors came.
This is beautiful Rachel, Nevada.
UFO capital of the world.
You can tell--
Go on, ask.
J.F. MUSIAL: How far is Area 51?
ALEX ROY: Miles.
How far did the visitors come?
Trillions of miles.
It is meaningless.
The evidence of this UFO capital the world is this
realistic saucer behind me.
The other evidence?
This realistic sign which shows a photo realistic
depiction of visitors.
J.F. MUSIAL: That's quite good.
ALEX ROY: The only thing I can say is, I'm more impressed by
the long journey taken by the visitors we discovered at
Walker Lake.
The remnants of their vessel?
The only thing one sees in the distance, as one approaches,
this, our goal, this entire trip, are flashing lights.
The flashing lights were some kind of miniature saucer
constructed by local miners, covered with Christmas lights.
Yeah, that is the little alien light-up sign.
It almost seems as if, trying to explain what goes on there,
is best summed up by J.F.'s comment.
And I think I quote J.F. almost precisely on this.
There's probably nothing going on at Area 51.
There doesn't have to be.
The people here are crazy, anyway.
That's why they built the base here.
[VIDEO PLAYBACK]
J.F. MUSIAL: -Bad traveler.
ALEX ROY: -I can tell that.
Can we call my show Bad Traveler?
You know Josh is yelling at me for leaving the car.
You're yelling at me for walking around.
-The infamous Walker Lake, formed over 285 million years
ago in subcutaneous rock formations, affected by the
strike of a local meteor, were consumed by competing
formations from a rival tectonic plate shifting
eastward from Asia.
I made that whole thing up.
I have no idea what I'm talking about.
J.F. MUSIAL: -This is a new gag.
Hold on.
ALEX ROY: -Guys subcutaneous means under the skin.
Walker Lake famous among geologists, exobiologists,
J.F. MUSIAL: -one more time, one more time.
MALE SPEAKER 1: -Gynecologists
ALEX ROY: -which unusual rock formations [INAUDIBLE]
over 285 million years ago.
Why?
Tectonic plates from the east to west coast bracketing the
well known fissure underneath Iowa, or what's currently
known as Texas and Oklahoma, competing subcutaneous rock
formations caused by lava strictures.
An unusual term you may never have heard.
It's only recently defined through research of Area 51.
-Walker Lake hides another mystery.
A mystery which is, for our researchers from across
northern Europe.
It is no coincidence that I wear on this jacket, today, a
Swedish flag.
For it was underneath these waters in 1958 they located
the remains of a vessel.
That could only have come from one spot.
A spot north of Oslo.
A spot where, from the time that vessel was built and
inexplicably transported here, well, I'm only going to say
one word to you, Vikings.
[END VIDEO PLAYBACK]