- Ellie Kemper, ladies and gentlemen!
(audience cheering) (upbeat music)
- Oh my goodness.
How are you?
Thank you!
This is the ray of my friends, my friends,
before my eyes.
- [Drew] You really are.
I mean- - No, you.
- You can't say your name
without the synonymous joy, comedy, beauty.
- No.
Go on.
No, I'm kidding. (audience laughing)
No, that's very kind of you,
because all of that back at you 100 fold, Drew Barrymore.
So thank you for saying that.
- Well, I've always loved you so much.
(audience cheering)
But I never knew that you might have a personal
synonymous revelation for me.
- Yes.
- So let me set this up.
- [Ellie] Okay.
- When we first started this show,
we were lucky enough to have Ellie as a guest.
(Ellie laughs)
I was new.
I didn't really know what I was doing.
We were in a pandemic.
So we were on zooms, which also added extra layers of,
well really, there's just no excuse.
(Ellie laughing)
Okay, well, for those of you who may have missed
Ellie's last appearance, well,
there's no other way to say it.
I could only show it.
That'll sell it.
The wonderful Ellie Kemper!
(audience cheering)
You have been this beacon of joy and comedy.
Beautiful, funny, charming, whimsical.
The Office, Kimmy Schmidt, Bridesmaids.
Scene-stealer, brilliant woman that you are.
You say Ellie Kemper and people are like oh my gosh.
Gosh darn it, I just wanna turn it over to you.
I have like such deep respect for you.
It's funny to hang out with you.
She is just so good.
I mean, you're just.
- Thank you for saying that.
(audience laughing)
(audience cheering)
No, no, no.
- I mean that, it changed my life.
It changed the way I do my job.
I thought I was trying to honor you,
and all I did was talk over you.
- You did not that at all.
And besides, and by the way, I wanna tell you.
When we had our fantastic conversation
that I was so lucky to be a part of,
I did not note.
I thought it was in equal, equal parts.
I noticed a banter back and forth.
Only upon watching that, first of all,
that's like, you're just showering me with praise.
It's beautiful.
But yeah, I guess I didn't talk as much, but-
(audience laughing)
- I don't think you could have.
I Zamboni'd you.
- You didn't Zamboni me.
- You came out flat.
Like I literally steamrolled with love.
So this time- - With love.
- I feel like I'll just be quiet now.
(audience laughing)
- And I'll take the floor?
- [Drew] Yes. - Okay.
There are a few things I wanted to talk about.
You guys, my five-year-old really loves animals,
and he's really into ages and numbers right now,
and everything, and full of questions.
As you know, kids ask a lot of questions.
So he asked me a long time ago
when the first centipede appeared?
I have no idea when the first centipede appeared.
I Googled it and it's 430 million years ago.
I didn't stop there though,
because then I realized 430 million years ago,
we always talk about dinosaurs,
which apparently were only 230 million years ago.
So this means that centipedes,
which are not extinct,
have been on this earth for 200 million years longer
than dinosaurs.
Is that crazy?
You always think dinosaurs are the oldest.
So then I looked up cockroaches,
because everyone always refers to the cockroaches,
the most resilient insect ever.
There's some debate on the age of cockroaches,
but even the oldest estimate says only 350 million years ago
was the first cockroach.
So do you understand?
Why aren't we giving more credit to the centipedes?
That's what I wanna know.
You know? (audience cheering)
And so now-
Anyway, all this made me wonder how old are humans.
And by that, I mean, modern humans, Homo sapiens,
they're only 300,000 years old.
300,000 years old!
Centipedes are 430 million years ago.
Anyway, it was a really interesting biology lesson,
and it also somehow humbled me.
And now I think,
maybe you understand why I didn't have the floor last time.
(audience cheering) - Are you kidding me?
I feel like your lucky kids who get to hear this amazing.
Who doesn't wanna have mom teach them the ways of life,
and the facts of science, and nature.
- Google.
Google, yeah.
- Do you think we like to say cockroach
'cause it's such a good word?
Cockroach.
- Oh, it's so satisfying to say cockroach.
- [Drew] It is. - I know what you mean.
- I refer to, I say cockroaches all the time.
Like, oh, that cockroach.
- [Ellie] You mean to describe a person?
- Yes! (Ellie laughing)
I do.
- I love that.
(upbeat music)