VANESSA NICHOLS: She is a different kid and
different than the norm, that we like to, to call a normal girl.
VANESSA NICHOLS: What do you think you want to be when you get older?
LILY NICHOLS: I think I’m gonna take some
medicine so I can kinda like transform into a boy, get surgery.
VANESSA NICHOLS: Yeah, ok. You think that you want to do that when you are older?
LILY NICHOLS: I think I do.
COMM: Since she was just two years old, Lily
Nichols has known that she is different to other girls.
VANESSA NICHOLS: It was Easter when she was
two and she could speak pretty well, and I put a green and white dress on her and a pink
bow in her hair, and she immediately ripped the bow out and she kept saying, ‘Take off.’
At the time, I thought it was pretty normal, some girls just don’t feel comfortable in
dresses, but it was around that same time that I also noticed that when we would go
to any of the stores, she would gravitate right to the boys’ section, the cars, the
trucks, things like that, no baby dolls, no pink.
LILY NICHOLS: Boys' clothes have like cool
skateboards, like I am wearing right now and I love skating. I like boys’ stuff as well.
I feel more comfortable in boys’ clothes.
VANESSA NICHOLS: When she started to watch
TV shows it was Power Rangers and Ninja Turtles as opposed to My Little Pony. I thought, Well,
hey, this is kind of cool’, so we nurtured it from day one.
COMM: Realising her daughter was different
to other girls, mum Vanessa began to worry about the problems she’ll face as she grows older.
VANESSA NICHOLS: I haven’t mentioned the
word ‘transgender’ specifically to Lily yet, because I don’t think it is a label
that is necessary right now, she is aware that it is possible to take medicine and in
some cases have surgery to become a different gender. We’ve had that discussion. She knows
that it’s a possibility when you get older.
VANESSA NICHOLS: I used to put head bands
on you every day and you used to go, right off. Take them right off.
LILY NICHOLS: You were torturing me when I was little.
VANESSA NICHOLS: Was I? LILY NICHOLS: You were torturing me.
VANESSA NICHOLS: I was torturing you, wasn’t I?
VANESSA NICHOLS: I think there is a danger
in not labelling them transgender if they are, and I think there could be a danger in
labelling them transgender if we are talking about confusion, and I think that there might
be afine line, and that’s what I am struggling to figure out myself. I hate to even call
it a struggle, because it’s just an experience for me right now. This is just our challenge.
COMM: By allowing Lily to pick her own clothes
and toys, single mum Vanessa has faced criticism from some of her friends.
VANESSA NICHOLS: I have lost some friendships
over it because they think that I am pushing some sort of an agenda on her. I was attacked
on Facebook by someone that used to be a good friend of mine and he accused me of trying
to convince Lily that she is transgender as though it is my choice. So that was very hurtful
and that was kind of a surprise to me that people don’t just see this as parenting
a child who has a different path.
COMM: Vanessa writes a parenting blog and
has posted about her fears of how Lily will be treated as she gets older, having faced
some bullying at school already.
VANESSA NICHOLS: Gosh, I have five million
worries, bullying is at the top of my list. I don’t want anyone to make her feel like
she can’t be who she is and she can’t become a boy or she can’t explore that part
of her because other people don’t see it as normal.
LILY NICHOLS: Maybe or maybe not my name will
be Lily when I grow up, I might change it.
VANESSA NICHOLS: What would you want to call
yourself if you do change your name?
LILY NICHOLS: I will call myself Jack or Jackson.
VANESSA NICHOLS: What else you want to do today?
LILY NICHOLS: Maybe skate?
VANESSA NICHOLS: You do?
COMM: Vanessa isn’t ruling out Lily transitioning
in the future, but for now is more concerned with letting her daughter discover herself
without resorting to labels.
VANESSA NICHOLS: I don’t really understand
why there’s so much concern for the way I’m parenting my child. I just so happen
to be talking about my little girl that wants to be a little boy, and that could take on
a lot of different forms in the future, but for now let’s just leave her be Lily.