Hi, my name is Stephanie and today I want to talk to you about what spoon theory
is. Thank you so much to my patrons for voting on today's video topic. I've been
hearing in the autism and disability communities
things like, if you have enough spoons, can you... or I don't have enough spoons
for this. And throughout seeing it being used,
I've surmised that it has something to do with, like, energy or, like, the ability
to, like, put up with stuff or something like that. But I [had] not really looked
officially into what spoon theory is and I thought I would do that today with you
guys. I also came across people who would call themselves spoonies, but it does
appear that this is specifically for those who have, like, autoimmune diseases
and illnesses and stuff like that, rather than just in general disability.
But that's just what I'm gathering from that. So, spoon theory appears to have
originated with someone named Christine Miserandino. Hopefully I'm saying
that right. I'm not really good at names. But it was basically from a story, that
they told it to their friend, trying to help them understand what it's like to
live with lupus without just saying, like, this is the list of, you know, symptoms or
problems that I go through. I would like to encourage you to read her story
directly and that will be linked in the description box below. Essentially, the
idea is that healthy people or maybe allistic or whatever you want to call it
people kind of live life with an unlimited amount of spoons, or maybe they
live life as though they have an unlimited amount of spoons. They seem to
have a lot, at the very least. Of course, that sounds really weird, but Miserandino
was saying that, basically, a spoon would be kind of like a representation
of a piece of yourself throughout the day. People will start out with only kind
of a small set of spoons per day and you have to decide and make very specific
decisions on what you can and can't do today and make it to the end of the day,
hopefully, with at least a spon or a piece of yourself left so that
you're not, maybe, going into a burnout or being so overly exhausted that it
becomes detrimental to you in other ways. She explains that, sure, you could try to
borrow against tomorrow's spoons, but that would mean, of course, that tomorrow you'd
have even less than you had to work with today, and that could lead to even more
problems. Being mindful of, like, all the little things to do with their day, from
the effort it takes to take a shower and get up out of bed and, you know, either
drive or find a ride or whatever. All those little things takes a special
effort for people with chronic illnesses and also for some with disabilities. This
kind of phenomenon, I think, for autistic people who don't also have, like, a
comorbid chronic illness, can be mostly attributed to executive dysfunctioning,
where having issues with your executive function and makes it so much
more than, say, just a shower. That concept of all of this energy, all of this pieces,
all of these pieces of me are being required for a task that someone else
can just casually do as part of their day, that kind of concept, that kind of
plays into this spoon theory in that sense. I think that it has been
extrapolated somewhat to be able to be used for the disability and autistic
communities, not just specifically for those with lupus or chronic illness or
invisible illnesses, etc. It's kind of like the mental, physical, emotional
capabilities of a person for that day compared against the amount of capacity.
We have a certain amount of capacity for those things and understanding how much
each task or each thing costs of our capacity. I don't know if that makes
sense. Hopefully it does. Maybe someone who's perfectly healthy and isn't really
suffering from any illnesses or anything or disorders, you know, a shower, that's
not a big deal. Maybe their morning routine would be a spoon. They have to go
through, you know, getting up, taking a shower, getting their clothes on,
getting their breakfast together, and getting out the door. That might take a
piece, whereas for someone else, that capacity is going to cost them a lot
more than, you know, the person who that just cost a spoon or one thing for, if
that makes sense. The reason this can be really important
for those with, like, invisible disabilities and illnesses is because
it's hard for people to understand when you might not have physically done much
or there isn't much to look at to say, oh, I've achieved a lot, because for you, it
took a lot. For them, the amount that you did didn't take much for them, and
understanding that people who have disabilities, people who have illnesses,
are dealing with a whole different set of things than someone who doesn't.
So, trying to kind of explain how you have to be mindful of those sorts of
things or you're going to run into burnout or you're going to just not be
able to function. Obviously, burning yourself out to ... no longer being able
to function everyday is going to have a detrimental effect on your health in a
variety of ways. Another aspect of Miserandino's story for the origin of
spoon theory is that there was a mentioned time set aside to feel bad
about how long it took you to do those simple things that should have been able
to be done in a few minutes. And I think that's something that is important for
us to maybe be aware of or have this conversation about, because you're, you
shouldn't have to feel guilty. Like, ... you're wasting your time and energy on
feeling guilty about things just because someone else can do it easier or someone
else can do it faster or someone else can do it better.
That's- who cares? They're a different person than you are, and it's hard to say
that because not only do we often hold ourselves to the standard of someone
else, but other people do as well. And that's one of the things that was so
important to me when I found out about autism, because I was constantly not
understanding how I was such a trash human being because I couldn't reach the
same standard of what I thought I should be able to reach, what other people
I should be able to reach, because it just didn't make sense. Because I was
perfectly fine, right? Like, I shouldn't have these problems. All of these things
shouldn't be exhausting for me. It shouldn't be difficult for me to do this.
But it was, and I think being able to have this conversation and understand that,
yes, some people struggle more with things that seem simple to others and
that's okay, because they're a different human being. It's important because at
least then we can eliminate, hopefully, at least a little bit of the waste of time
spent feeling guilty or bad because we're not someone else or because we
have a disability or because we're ill in some way or have a disorder or
whatever else it might be. Now, in reference to, like, online, maybe even
requests, spoons tends to be more specifically about like emotional and
mental capacity. So, like, can you handle engaging with people about something? Can
you handle doing this task that might might add to your list of things? Can you
handle trying to be understanding to people who are being belligerent? Those
sorts of things tends to be what they refer to as spoons in, like, the online
community, even though spoons obviously is originated as a way to explain kind
of, like, the whole experience. And on another note, I just wanted to say again
that it does appear that spoonie specifically applies to those with
chronic illnesses ,not just people who can also identify with the concept of
spoon theory. So, like, for me, I do not have a chronic illness. I don't have that
as a comorbidity, which I'm thankful for, and so I really wouldn't refer to
myself as a spoonie because that's not really for me. But there are some people
who are autistic and also have chronic illnesses who might refer to themselves
as such. I hope this video helped explain a little bit about what spoon theory is,
where it originated and how it's kind of used to explain the disabled or chronic
illness kind of experience for people who might not experience those things. I
highly encourage you, again, to read the original story. Obviously, that would
be the most helpful and more completely understanding the concept and everything
like that. So, at the very least, I hope this video at least introduced you to
the idea and also where it came from and how to find out more. Anyway, thank you
for watching today's video. If you enjoyed it, go ahead and drop a like and
let me know your thoughts in the comments below. If you enjoy autism-
related content from me, feel free to hit that subscribe button.
I do upload content every Thursday at 4:00 p.m. Central Standard Time. Hope
that you're having a wonderful week and I'll see you in my next video.
Bye!