[calm music]
woman: The thing is that, when you talk about
racial identity, you have to talk about racism.
For example, people always comment on my hair.
"Oh, you look like a clown" or "You look like a poodle."
That's what they used to say.
I just hated that, just hated--hated that
people would think that the way
my hair came out of my head naturally is funny.
They are small things, but when you put them all together,
it's--it gets heavy.
[child speaking indistinctly]
The most important part of my life is my family.
Nora loves painting anything that is princess-related.
She loves, like, drawing my curly hair.
She'll be like, "Mommy, that's you.
I like you've got your curly hair."
She tends to be sad because her hair is not curly like mine.
But then she goes like, "But we've got the same hair color,
so we're still-- we're still related."
I went to an event with my mom and my sister
called Natural Hair Academy
which was mainly for women of color.
And it's like a fair and you have talks about racial identity
and also about, like, your hair and your skin.
It was a beautiful event.
I had never been in an event where I was the norm,
where a woman of color was the norm.
I'm always like the one and I'm usually looking for
maybe there is another one, so that was great,
and when we came home in the evening,
we had bought headwraps and we had bought new shampoo
for curly hair, and it's like, it was great.
We were very excited that evening.
Wearing the headscarf is part of being a black woman.
This is what we do when we need to protect our hair
'cause our hair gets really dry, especially in winter.
Sometimes it's just such a mess that you can't do anything
with it, so it's a way to protect your hair
and care for it, and it's just part of the culture.
woman: It's just, like, become a sister thing.
woman: And it has become a sister thing.
As we'd been gone all day, my daughter asked me
where we'd been and I was telling her just that,
that I'd been in an event for women of color.
And she looks up and was like,
"Oh, but does that mean that you didn't want white people there?"
I was like, no, no, no, that's not what I meant.
It's just like, that this was an event
to get women of color together
because we never have this opportunity.
This doesn't mean that we want white people out.
It's just that this was a moment for us.
I've been very cautious since on how I'm talking about the topic,
just making sure that I'm using the right words,
'cause she mostly identifies as white.
I just don't want her to feel rejected.
When Alana was born, I knew she would not have to experience
what I have experienced and that, as much as, like,
having her look so different from me was hard,
but I also had a great sense of relief.
I knew she would be protected.
I don't think they will ever experience racism.
What they might experience is people making comments
about their mother, so when their friends say, like,
"Hey, your nanny's here" or some kids ask her, like,
"But are you sure she's your mom?"
I just try to tell her we may not have the same skin color,
but she knows she's my daughter, she knows I love her,
and that's really what matters.
[both chattering indistinctly]