- She likes six packs
and that's something I can't provide for her.
- (laughs) Okay.
"Temptation Island" is reality TV because so many of us
can relate to being dropped off on an island
full of temptation and sexual opportunity.
Yup.
That sounds like an experience most of us have had
with cameras following us around.
But I'll see what I can glean from this mended light.
(upbeat music)
Okay, welcome to "Therapist Reacts RAW"
where my producers give me something
that I've never seen before
and I give my reactions in real time
as a relationship expert
and a licensed mental health professional
I'm going to need some mental health support
because we are looking at "Temptation Island."
I am already not looking forward to this.
But let's see what we can see.
Given that this is cable, probably a lot.
- When I met Marisela- - Those are abs.
- The conversation got very spicy.
Yup, we just met and we jumped right in to talk about sex.
- Two Years.
I met him.
No, I was not ready to be in a relationship,
but I just wanted to keep being around him.
- And I'm like, "Why?
Like why am I so pressed to be with this woman?"
I felt something in my spirit.
- Wasn't your spirit.
- I wake up every day next to her
and I'm just super grateful that lot of attraction
brought Marisela to me.
- Wow, they are very attractive people.
- Dream.
When I was- - I can understand that.
- I told myself, I wanted a Latina.
- Okay. (laughs)
The timing of that, that like, "Marisela is my dream"
and then it shows her in a bikini
and he is like, when I was 15 years old and I'm like,
"Yup, right there with you brother."
Let's keep going.
- And when I met Marisela, I knew instantly
that this was the woman of my dreams.
- He's driven, he's a hustler, he's strong.
Everybody loves Christopher.
His positive energy just radiates.
- She's the one.
- Okay, look, that's actually sweet.
His rationale so far.
And look, I get that these shows are heavily edited
and they can cut out all the sweet meaningful stuff
and leave just the saucy stuff
and so it looks maybe different than it is.
But I love, so for him, he says,
"She's my dream," and he's like, "She's Latina."
She talks about his positive energy that just radiates
and that's very sweet
'cause that's looking at who he actually is.
It's not just how he looks in swimming trunks
which they both look damn fine.
I mean, it's kind of a requisite.
You don't see me on a reality show.
That's what they should do.
They should do Dad Bod Island
and it's just a bunch of bros grilling out and laying out
and getting farmer's tan in like wicked sunburns
and then trying to help each other
through the emotional trauma of how pasty they are.
That's a show I'd watch.
That's a show I could star in.
- I'm saving up for that ring.
- Good for you.
- I wanna be with Christopher.
- Maybe this show will help pay for it,
- Is a long time to think about.
- It's true. - I'm here.
- Okay, so my producers just informed me
the premise of this show.
They bring these couples together, they split them up
and put them on separate islands surrounded by hot singles.
And if you make it to the end, what do you get?
Do you get money?
Do you get to keep your relationship?
According to the show description,
there's no cash prize on the show
but the couples do receive clarity on their relationships.
Yay!
What a crapshoot.
What type of show doesn't even offer you a cash prize?
Let's do a cost-benefit analysis here.
I'm saving up for a ring.
I'm gonna go on a reality show
that won't help me earn money for said ring
but I could potentially lose my girlfriend if she hooks up
with somebody else or I might hook up with somebody else
and lose this dream I have of being with this woman.
You know what this is?
You know when a woman will have her best friend
hit on her boyfriend to see if he'll sleep with her
to see if he'll be faithful or not?
Like it's a sting operation, right?
It's like it's an entrapment.
Well, this is entrapment
with informed consent and cameras following you around.
- I've called myself a respectable whore.
I wanna prove to myself that I'm not going to fall
into temptation to challenge myself
to go beyond the physical.
- My biggest fear is Christopher goes away
'cause I want Christopher.
I do love-
- Then don't be on this damn show.
- Having sex with another dude.
Then don't be on the show
Man, it's over for us.
Period.
I truly feel deep in my heart and my spirit,
our relationship is strong enough
to carry through this experience.
- We are really good to together.
We just have a lot to learn.
- So we've been engaged.
- You guys, this is such bull.
If you want to grow in your relationship,
don't go to "Temptation Island."
It's like one of those haunted house movies.
If you survive the weekend
in the haunted house, you get the house.
If I can leave you on a beach brothel for a weekend
or for however long it takes them to film the show,
for weeks and you're still true to me,
then we can be together.
This is not reality.
There's no basis in reality on this.
But you know why people watch?
'Cause they're hot as hell.
'Cause we could sit here eating our Doritos
and we don't have to worry about our abs
'cause they're delivering the abs.
- We've been engaged for almost a year now.
- Get it done.
- And we have zero wedding plans.
- This is Roy and Pam.
He even looks like Roy.
- Kaitlin.
- And I'm Hall. - That shot.
- From Charleston, South Carolina.
- That tracks
- And we've been together for eight years on and off.
- Well, the first moment I saw-
- This is Pam and Roy.
- She was looking so cute and I was like,
"I have to hit on her."
- He spilled his drink on me.
- That actually did happen.
- What I love most about Hall.
- That's sus.
- And he laughs every time I say this too
but it's his personality.
I mean, everyone loves Hall.
- [Hall] She lets me be me.
- I always say we're the same sign,
but the totally different parts of the sign.
- [Interviewer] What sign?
- Taurus. - Taurus.
- I feel like we kinda it around.
- She's gonna meet her Jim Halper on this island,
mark my words.
- So two years of us dating, I thought to myself,
"I have a feeling that I will want to be with other women
and I can't cheat."
- Okay, let me get this straight.
They're dating, it's going well.
He has a feeling
that he's going to want to be with other women.
Not that he even has his feeling now,
just that he's going to want that and he can't cheat.
I have friends who are polyamorous that works for them.
They all consent, they all agree
on what the boundaries are and that works
for them and that's a solution for some people.
That's not me.
I'm not wired that way.
I'm definitely a monogamous person.
But the fact is like, wanting to be with other people
is pretty natural.
You're gonna see other people and find them attractive.
And if you stress over that, if you worry
about what that means about you or your relationship
which is what they're doing, it grows bigger.
You give it power.
What you need to do is just say,
"Yeah, that is an attractive person
but here is my heart and here is my commitment."
Problem solved.
You're going to be attracted to other people.
It's not that big a deal.
- Coming to Temptation Island was my idea.
I only wanna get married once
and I want it to be 1,000% Hall.
I was so excited to get engaged
and I feel like it took a little while to get engaged
and now I guess I'm the one who's just taking a while
to make any concrete plans.
- It's like we flip sides.
- I mean, we're engaged so I don't wanna see him
hooking up with someone else.
And I know he's a flirty personality in general.
- She likes six packs.
And that's something I can't provide for her.
- (laughs) Okay.
That right there, he just won me over with that one.
With that one piece of realism.
"She likes six packs and that's something
I can't provide for her."
You may not provide a six pack for her, but you know what?
You can provide your cuddly as hell.
This guy's growing on me.
I gotta admit.
I still think this whole dynamic is messed up, but...
- Hopefully we'll be married very soon after this
and be together and have a wonderful loving life.
- Yeah, but hang on, come on.
Even if you do get married
after this and have a wonderful loving life,
what's gonna be your story?
How did you know
that this is the person you wanted to spend
the rest of your life with?
Well, I had six packs all around
and plenty of baby oil and I didn't take advantage of it.
That's because I knew I wanted his squishy teddy bareness
for the rest of my days.
Well see your mom put me on a reality show
and threw a lot a bunch of butts in my face
and that's how I knew she loved me.
- I know you want that.
I want that too.
- Then get off this damn show.
- I just need to bring out why it's not a priority.
- Yeah.
- Me and Paris have been together for-
- They're fine.
- Seven months?
Eight months? Eight months?
I think it's seven months.
- Eight months.
- Oh man, I feel I know that dynamic.
- My name is Nzuechukwu "Great" Ezihie.
The way me and Paris met, I had first like downloaded TikTok
- And I just comment
under his videos saying that he looks fine.
- [Great[ She was shooting her shot
- Tale as old as time.
- I wasn't shooting one.
- You were shooting your shot.
You had heart eyes.
You had a heart eyes there.
You had the emoji there too.
- Okay.
When I saw him in person, I saw how handsome he was.
His brown eyes, his big muscles.
- He's gonna have a hard time.
Listen, they're gonna be all over him.
I'm straight and I'd be all over him.
I am straight.
Okay, I'll work through that later.
- That mean Great usually don't get.
- I'm probably the last good man God have left
and she have it right here.
- Excuse me?
Did you really?
Did you really just look at the camera
and with a straight face say,
"I'm probably the last good man God has left"?
Pride cometh before the fall.
I'm calling it.
If I'm saying who's gonna cheat, my money's on this guy.
He sees himself as a gift from God
and he wants to share that gift.
Share it with as many people as he can.
He's like a timeshare.
A big, luxurious, beefy timeshare.
I'm digging his necklace though.
Look at her face right here, guys.
When he says, "I'm the last good man God has left." (laughs)
Don't bring God into this.
- My biggest fear is her actually connecting with somebody.
I don't know how I'm gonna feel about that.
- I wanna see if he's capable of controlling himself.
I just hope you don't go and have sex on national television
and expect me to take you back 'cause that's not happening.
(Jonathan laughs)
- Okay I like her and I like Tropical Roy.
Those are my favorites so far.
Here we go.
- I'll sneeze and she'll be like, "Yo, shut up."
And I'm like, "Oh, sorry for being a human being."
Watch out, you sneeze around and you might get cussed out.
- [Vanessa] I'm Vanessa Valente.
- I'm Roberto Maldonado.
We've been together a year now.
- And we met at a lounge on Latin Night.
- I went up to her and said, "You trying to dance?"
And she did her a little twirl.
Oh, I seen the backside.
Like, "Oh yeah, I need to."
- [Vanessa] He was very chill.
- You need to what?
- What I disliked instead of whispering
sweet nothing's in my ear.
He kept saying little jokes
about our hometown rivalries and it was just such a turnoff.
- And I told her,
"How many guys have called you beautiful tonight?
And how many guys have made fun of you?
I'm trying to stand out from the crowd."
A lot of the time, she got-
- Classy. - Eyes strong.
I like to mellow her out.
So I tell her, "Yo babe, everything's gonna be okay."
- Listen, playful teasing's fine.
- You don't have to yell at the Starbucks lady.
Everything's gonna be fine."
- Most people would get-
- Okay, listen.
There's playful teasing and this may be what's going on.
It may be healthy and beautiful.
She seems to enjoy it.
She seems to laugh.
I don't know if she's actually laughing
or she's laughing because, "He's making fun of me
on national television and I need to be cool with it."
Like I don't know what this dynamic is.
I still can't get a feel for it.
- We get frustrated with you and be like,
"You're overreacting and I don't like
those type of responses."
But he's very gentle.
- She just- - So nice.
- Makes sure her life is easy.
- The phrase is, "Make my life easier."
If you're not making my life easier, why are you here?
- Welcome to-
- "If you're not making my life easier, why are you here?"
I certainly know couples who they do make
each other's lives easier.
And I think my parents were like that.
Maybe it's my bias because I'm a couple's counselor.
Maybe it's my bias because a lot of the greatest lessons
I've learned and the greatest growth I've had,
and talking with Alicia, she feels the same way
about her growth have come because our relationship
hasn't been easy.
Because we've had to learn and grow to be there
for each other and support each other
because we're so very different.
I don't necessarily think,
well, but that's a value judgment.
What I was about to say is I don't necessarily think
easiness or making my life easier is the yardstick
for a healthy relationship, but I'm gonna take that back.
She knows what she wants.
She knows what she needs in her life.
It's someone who lightens her load and I respect that.
I respect that she knows that.
I respect that that is her need.
And more power to her.
I don't think going to Temptation Island
is gonna make anything easier.
I don't think that's the point.
I think the point is to cause drama
and southward blood flow.
- Decided to come to Temptation Island
because I'm a little bit older.
- I'm 10 years younger than her.
She thinks I'm a little boy.
- I'm ready to get married.
I'm hoping I can do that
within the next six months to a year.
- She's like, "Hurry up, hurry up."
And I'm like, "I don't like the rush."
For a proposal like that is a lifelong commitment.
- The fact that-
- I don't think there's anything wrong with either
of those perspectives, but they're not in the same place
in life and they're not in the same place
with what they want.
And that is an issue they need to work through
- That he's really dragging his feet on this
leads me to believe that he's questioning it himself.
We had jokes and I said anything
that makes your penis hard is disrespectful.
I feel like-
- Okay, wait, okay.
She says it was a joke, but was it a joke?
'Cause that was also a warning.
You're asking him not to disrespect you
and you're sending him to Temptation Island.
Okay, okay.
Listen, he's 10 years younger than you,
waking up might be disrespectful.
Crossing his legs while wearing jeans
might be disrespectful.
A breeze might be disrespectful.
- I feel like your biggest temptation is gonna be a Latina
with a big butt.
- Vanessa's biggest temptation is an older guy,
a more successful guy.
The guy that's gonna do whatever she wants when she wants.
- I think our love is strong enough
to handle "Temptation Island."
He knows what he has and what he needs in his life.
- Do you trust me?
I'm hoping we grow from this
and I can solidify and she's the one for me.
If she's not, I'm hoping none of us
continue to waste our time.
- Here's something I never would've suspected.
I wanna watch this show now.
Like yes, it's tawdry and it's sleazy, but I watch this
and I legitimately wanna see who makes it and who doesn't.
So in terms of hooking the audience, bravo.
I'll say about this show, what I say about "Twilight,"
what I say about "The Kissing Booth,"
what I say about "Fifty Shades of Grey"
and all these other things is listen,
and what I say about "James Bond" frankly.
If this is your guilty pleasure, own it, enjoy it,
but don't look to it for guidance in your life
or about what love is or what healthy relationships are.
Healthy relationships are not "Temptation Island."
Healthy relationships are, "I see you, I honor you.
I respect who you are and what you want out of life
and I want to make that happen with you."
That's healthy, that's beautiful.
This is beautiful babes and boys at a Baywatch brothel.
That's what this is.
If you want to enjoy more tawdry stupidity with me,
check out my reaction to The Loyalty Challenge.
It's gonna pop up here at the end.
If you'd like to learn more
about what healthy relationships look like
and how to have them, you can join our membership site.
It's 50% off at the time of this video
for the monthly membership
which includes our ever-growing catalog of relationship
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Go to the link in the description to sign up.
What do you think of "Temptation Island?"
Which of these couples do you think is gonna make it
and go the distance
and which do you think are just absolutely doomed?
Let me know in the comments below.
Until next time, folks.
Keep shining.
We need your light.
(upbeat music)