Move over, Cujo…
A whole bunch of other terrifying house pets are slinking their way onto the silver screen.
And this time, they can sing.
That's right, we're talking about the Cats trailer.
This first look at the movie musical isn't meant to make for nightmare fuel, but for
a lot of viewers, that's exactly what it is.
"pah-pe-tee pah-pe-tee pah.
Hoo.
AHH"
The Cats trailer arrived online on July 18th, 2019, giving audiences a first glimpse at
the live-action film adaption of the enduringly popular stage musical.
Based on T.S.
Eliot's collection of poems, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats, with music composed
by Andrew Lloyd Webber, the original 1980 stage show enjoyed a combined 39-year run
between its London and Broadway productions, grossing over $2 billion worldwide.
And now, it's coming to the silver screen.
The new film adaptation, set to hit theaters on December 20th, is directed by Tom Hooper,
who previously brought the musical Les Miserables to the screen in 2012.
It stars a slew of A-list stars including Idris Elba, Taylor Swift, Ian McKellan, Dame
Judi Dench, Jennifer Hudson, James Corden, and Jason Derulo, to name just a few.
If you're completely unfamiliar with the Cats musical, you might be wondering why all these
humanoid cats are bounding around and being all existential.
Don't worry: we can clear that up for you.
According to the film's official synopsis,
"A tribe of cats called the Jellicles must decide yearly which one will ascend to the
Heaviside Layer and come back to a new Jellicle life."
Okay somehow the movie made more sense before we read that.
Look, Taylor Swift is a cat now.
What more do you need to know?
Based on the project's star-studded cast, the producers of the Cats movie are clearly
hoping that high-octane talent plus sleek CGI will equal big bucks at the box office
much like another feline-centric blockbuster that came out to great success in 2019.
But frankly, we have our doubts.
Many have pointed out that the characters in the trailer have a truly uncanny, almost
unsettling appearance, and it remains to be seen whether or not audiences will line up
for a feature-length version of it.
Sometimes a trailer can really freak people out.
"Uh… meow?"
The A.V.
Club's Britt Hayes summed up the situation succinctly, saying,
"Behold… a cinematic adaptation of one of the most dizzyingly atrocious musicals of
all time.
[...] Bear witness… to the horrors of the unnatural feline-people as they sing and dance
for your entertainment."
In a behind-the-scenes look at the film, director Tom Hooper tries his best to make "digital
fur technology" a thing:
"We've used digital fur technology to create the most perfect covering of fur."
The end result?
According to a writeup from CNN,
"[It's] an uncanny amalgamation of the actors' human faces and a feline-adjacent body."
As you can imagine, Twitter had quite a few thoughts on this frisky feline fantasia — and
it pretty much amounted to this:
"AHHHH!”
“That could have gone better."
Others have been poking fun at the trailer from every possible angle, mining humorous
takes from the weirdness of the movie's look.
Pitch Perfect star Anna Kendrick tweeted,
"My favorite thing about the #Cats trailer is that it didn't awaken anything (new) in
me, sexually.
So.
Phew."
Novelist and playwright Paul Rudnick wrote,
"The Cats trailer scared me.
It's what would happen if an elderly hoarder with a Hummel figurine fetish dropped acid,
ran into the street naked and was happy for the very first time, right before getting
hit by a bus."
Director Charlie McDowell tweeted:
"I know this will be a controversial tweet, but the Cats trailer is exactly how I imagined
a trailer for Cats to be."
Film critic Kristy Puchko posted,
"I don't know what I expected from CATS' 'digital fur technology' but the short answer is NOT
this.
My brain has melted.
My eyes are bleeding.
There is no god."
"That escalated quickly."
Louis Virtel of the Keep It podcast had this to say:
"I don't know why you're all freaking out over miniature yet huge cats with human celebrity
faces and sexy breasts performing a demented dream ballet for kids."
YouTube personality Daniel Howell had his own particularly hot take:
"theory: sonic, lion king and now cats are a coordinated effort by the government to
deprogram furries through sheer horror - live action arthur is next"
Meanwhile, DJ and television personality Greg James tweeted:
"Just because you can doesn’t mean you should"
As for us?
We'll be catching up on all the other purrrfectly awful feline films until Cats premieres on
December 20th.
Say what you will about the trailer, but that "digital fur technology" has really come a
long way.
"Just in here like this…
Uh oh, don't touch that… ahhhh!
Ohhhhh!"
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