- Wait I need to think a little bit more, I can't.
(giggles)
Sorry, I just don't.
I'm half Brazilian half American.
My mom is Brazilian and my father is American.
And I grew up mostly in Brazil, near Sao Paulo city.
But I also, when I was young,
I spent a little bit of time living in the US.
My parents are not very religious.
My father's actually not at all, but my mom is.
So her family is Catholic,
but we would go sometimes to Catholic church,
sometimes to Ecumenical Christian churches.
There was one point in my life when I told myself
that I actually would never follow any specific religion.
Because I felt that sometimes it seemed like religions
divide people more than bring them together.
So it was really when I went to Morocco
that I became really interested in Islam.
So after that it was this teacher actually that
invited me to a program in Spain
that was happening that year.
And it was there that I met
Sheikh Salaq,
Sheikh Yahya Rhodus and Sheikh Hamza Yusef.
And it was really upon hearing their lessons that
I was just like, this is the truth,
this is what I believe in.
And that's when, in those three days,
that's when I really began thinking
seriously about converting to Islam.
And there was a huge conflict within me.
Because in my mind, in my heart,
I was like this is it, this is the truth.
I completely believe in this.
But then in my mind I had so many
barriers to accepting Islam.
I was so afraid.
I was really afraid about the reaction
of my family and friends.
I was afraid that they would not understand,
that they would question me.
All those stupid stereotypes about Islam.
In the media and stuff.
People really don't know, they have no idea.
But I was also afraid that Muslims
would say that I'm not doing things right.
'Cause I really didn't think I could do it.
I was like, this is so beautiful
but I don't think I can pray five times a day,
I don't think I could fast.
Even the day, the night after I accepted Islam,
I still was really afraid.
I told my parents over the phone,
'cause I was in Morocco.
I think they only really realized
when I went back to Brazil.
'Cause I think that maybe they might have thought,
"Oh this is just a phase she's going through or something."
But actually my mom said something
really beautiful when I was talking to her.
She said, "Well if Islam makes you feel
"closer to God then I'm happy for you."
Of course there's some things that
are difficult for them to understand.
And that's normal.
I can't expect them to relate to
everything that I'm going through
or try to understand everything that I'm going through
because some things can be strange and really new for them.
But I feel like I'm the one that has to relate to them.
Because I was there.
I understand exactly a lot of their concerns,
a lot of their fears, because I was the same before.
Like one of the things I said I was afraid of
was that I would change completely or something.
But I think that the things that,
my central, my core is,
I'm still the same person as I always was.
And you will always be.
I think that Islam just helps me, has helped me
undo the things,
the habits or the negative thought processes,
unlearn some of the things that I was just carrying
that are unnecessary, that are unimportant.
I definitely think that Islam helped
improve my relationship with my family.
I feel like my purpose in life
is much clearer right now.
Like before, I didn't really have a purpose in life.
Moments, especially moments of difficulty, of trial,
that I would catch myself running to God.
In those moments I would really realize I need this.
I need His...
If you try to be the best person
you can be with everyone around you,
'cause really Islam should make your
relationships with other people improve.
Of course there are some hardships,
there might be some tensions with people understanding,
but ultimately your relationships with them
should become better when you're a Muslim,
because that's what we're asked for.
We're asked to be the best we can be,
especially to our families, and to everyone around us.
My fears were much greater than they had to be.
Everything that I was really afraid about
was really not such a huge concern afterwards.
You will still be yourself.
The change will be a natural change.
It should be a natural change that comes from within you,
from your heart.
And it's a change
that will bring you closer, inshaAllah closer to God.
Everything that you let go of are things that
were just barriers between you and God before.