My first guest, you've seen around 2 Dope Queens,
she has a podcast called Couples Therapy,
please welcome the very funny Naomi Ekperigin.
Naomi thank you for being here.
Thanks for having me Moses, you're looking well.
I've tried for this.
(laughing)
You know, this is the best I've looked in a week,
I've been prepping for this.
You look great, thank you for dressing up.
Well honey, I need a reason.
I need a reason, there are just
clothes sitting in the drawer,
they're sitting in the drawers, they haven't been touched.
Have you bought anything, like any new clothing item, yet?
Yeah, I will tell you something,
I bought three pairs of shoes,
all heels because they were on sale,
and I know I have nowhere to go, but I said
"You cannot pass by a deal. You can't."
Yeah, I've bought two pairs of shoes,
those shoes have not been out yet,
and now I don't want to take them out,
too much time has passed, I can't,
they've been with me for this whole process.
(laughing)
Yeah, this is really weird
and please tell me if I'm wrong about this,
but I feel like, for a lot of comedians,
they really need an audience, but for someone like you,
at least the way you perform,
I was just re-watching your 2 Dope Queens set
and then some of your rants you do online.
(wheezy laughing)
It almost feels like, you don't need an audience.
(laughing)
To do your thing, you just barrel through it, like
"This is my idea, you're either here or not."
Is that something that you feel,
or do you still feel a thing of like,
"I need it" every 15 seconds?
I miss an audience, I miss it so much,
I do feel like I need it to feel
as though my rant has done anything for anyone but myself.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Like sometimes, it's like--
Right...
Who was that for you self-indulgent fool?
But if you have laughter it's like, wow,
I've helped people, I've connected.
Right!
I think that's always kind of helped me, I think that,
you know, this idea that,
because I think part of why I stated out being a little
conversational and not, too structured,
I think initially it started out
of being afraid I wouldn't get the laugh.
You know how like, sometimes in the comics, you know,
they have that cadence because
they know that laugh is supposed to come here.
Yeah.
And I can never be sure,
so I sort of never really gave myself those pauses,
or that sense of this is the one spot
you're all supposed to crack up at.
Ugh, I know exactly what you're saying.
'Cos as a comedian you're watching that pause
and you feel when it doesn't go well.
Yeah.
And someone's like,
"And that was the whole watermelon..."
(laughing)
"Anyway but you guys don't like that"
just ugh...
"The whole watermelon."
You know, you say it again.
Yeah.
Hoping you can kind of set it up and the extent to which,
you know, sometimes you might want
that laugh to propel you forward.
And if you're not like, like, I'm gonna propel myself.
Is there any colloquialisms
that you have a pet peeve with?
Like mine, just for example is this like
"Ah, what else? What do you guys want to talk about?"
(laughing)
What do you mean "what do you want to talk about?"
What do you want to talk about,
you're the one with the lights on you.
You know what I've never liked?
Even though like, I wouldn't think about it,
only because you've asked, I've realized.
Yeah
I've never liked, for some reason,
"I'll leave you with this."
There's something annoying about like,
"I'll leave you with this."
It's like when you get the light, and you know you're
about to wrap up, I don't know what it is.
I don't know what it is about the phrase
"I'll leave you with this."
That feels a little too
"Thank you sir."
"Well all right master."
"You've left me with this morsel."
Yeah, I think, it's a way of letting the host know that
"I know the light has happened--
Yes.
"and this is gonna be longer than thirty seconds."
Right, right. (laughing)
Is what that means
"I'm gonna run the light. So I'll leave you with this.
"So growing up it wasn't always easy."
And start my full one-man show there.
(giggling)
So you've had the podcast really keep you busy,
but the complicated thing is you do it with your husband.
Well, well, well.
So it is like, a work relationship.
Has that been beneficial for you guys
or have you noticed that like, just,
couple fights kind of bleed into what would
essentially be a work fight?
Well here's the thing.
I think if you are living with your partner in the pandemic,
you are probably struggling with distance.
Wanting some of it, okay?
Getting a break, okay?
Moses, I've always said before pandemic,
I said the key to relationship,
you gotta miss a bitch, okay?
You gotta have some time
when you ain't seeing that person's face, Moses,
If you want love to work.
Yeah.
And so here we are in the pandemic,
it's an apartment honey, it's an apartment,
I will sneeze in the living room,
he'll say "Bless you" from the office,
and I don't like it, I don't like it, Moses.
That is no privacy.
No.
I don't.
I'm also quarantining with my partner
and it's a "one-bedroom" I mean it's "shutters"
is what covers the bedroom, there's nothing.
Yep.
You know, I hear like, (loud chewing)
mouth sounds in the next room.
(laughing)
I hear someone's mouth working.
I know, it's too much, and so then, when like,
so then we go to do the pod,
and I find that the hardest thing
is just having something to talk about.
You know, like, I knew some people who have started
podcasts in the pandemic and I'm like
"There's literally less to say than ever."
Yeah.
You know, like, I'm like
"What's the new episode?
"What we do we walk to the couch?"
I don't have anything to bring to this podcast, Moses.
Yeah, well it does feel like even the small shows
I've been doing in backyards, it does feel like everyone's
talking about the same thing, because everyone is home,
everyone has the same stir-crazy
and then the same news cycle,
so it's really hard to be like
"I accidentally bumped into this person on the bus"
there's no personal takes anymore.
Right.
I find I've been going to the past, if that makes sense,
like, just like, thinking about stuff, where I'm like
"Oh yeah, that childhood memory
"might make for a funny story" or
"That phone call with my aunt could be something."
You know what I mean?
Stuff that I would have never--
Yeah.
Brought up before, but I'm like
"Phew honey, I'm digging, I'm digging."
Just kick up family drama for material,
you know, just be like
"Hey remember that aunt that faked a heart attack?"
(laughing)
Stuff like that.
Really, really get into it, just to generate material,
because it is a point where, yes,
it is hard to have a new experience, that is original,
and then two, the turn-around on material,
have you done any outside live Covid-Safe shows?
No, I haven't been out, I haven't been out.
How's it been?
It's been awful.
(giggling)
Everything that would have been a hell gig last year,
that'd you'd be like
"Absolutely not. I'd rather eat a gun"
is now like
"Hey thank you so much having me on that show.
"Would love to come back in two weeks."
So every like, outdoor, performing for cars,
performing for clap machines, the worst-case scenario,
is just a small taste of what it used to be,
so then that makes it the best show.
Right, right, right.
And then material, more to your question,
is like the material needs to turn over even faster now.
Right, right.
'Cos so much is happening right now.
If you did something about Gamestop,
people would be like
"Wow, she's dusty."
(laughing)
And that was like, two hours ago, that happened.
Right, right.
Did you buy any stock?
No.
Me neither.
I don't know anything about it and I also am aware
that it's not interesting to say
"I don't know anything about this."
(giggling)
That's like the guys who are like
"Sports, sports, sports."
Like yeah, I just, I respect it, I don't get it.
I tried to learn about it earlier in 'quar'
'cos especially, 'cos I was like
"You know what, if we all about to die,
"I need some bunker money."
And I felt like these old white men they got bunker money,
and I said I'ma learn, I'ma learn,
and then your girl bought some Moderna stock,
and sold it immediately, before it became money,
so I don't know what I'm doing, Moses,
what I'm telling you is I don't know what I'm doing.
You bought it after vaccine, you bought?
No before, no before, I bought it
when it was low baby, when it was low, baby.
Oh, and no profit?
'Cos I didn't understand that you were supposed
to hold onto these things for a long time. (laughing)
I didn't know until you said that you didn't know,
that you should hold onto it.
And I was like
"Well it's not moving, no-one seems to be,
"it's not moving, so I guess I'll just give this back"
and I thought you almost, just like, traded it,
do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like I pretty much was like
"Okay I gave you this, now give me that money back"
and it's like
"That's not what just happened girl, you just sold stocks."
I just thought I was getting my money back.
Right (laughs)
At the height of their success.
Yeah, I thought I was getting a refund.
I've enough to like, worry about with social media,
and trying to post, to like,
then worry about my Robin Hood app.
I feel like you've kept on track though,
because these things, you can easily find distractions
that would take you away from the larger goal.
I think you wanna be a performer, you wanna be a writer,
a performer and I think the podcast
is allowing you to do that.
You're still getting your voice out there.
Your girl's doing Instagram videos.
I just need to know that someone's seeing me!
Yeah!
Accurate!
Incredibly accurate.
Your Trader Joe's rant went pretty well online,
I connected with that.
Did you connect with that content, do you go to TJ's?
Yeah, well we go very rarely.
Exactly.
We have a non-compromised person with us.
So, I go in a full gray hazmat suit, a gas mask,
so I get people like, taking photos of me.
(giggling)
Like "liberal cuck."
(laughing)
Ah, but exactly what you said, people should look it up,
I0 mean you have a full game plan to go in there.
Yeah, yeah.
Thing that got me, was you were talking
about how people were smelling fruit.
Yeah, yeah.
Like they were taking off their mask to go
"Is this good, is this good?"
"Is this lemon good?"
I mean, like, Moses, it's a pandemic, in and out,
you ain't in a garden, you ain't in a garden,
they up in here trying to get the ripest, it's like
"Honey, this is survival, also, it's Trader Joe's,
"you're no culinary expert, okay?
"we're all in TJ's because the price is right,
"so if you could just back up on that whole thing."
Because, I will tell you, the last time I went,
'cos I go to Trader Joe's now, every six to eight weeks,
you know, me and my betrothed, we each take a cart honey,
so you got two carts piled high by the end, (laughs)
but I went in, I have asthma,
and I was allowed to go during senior hours,
honey, so I was there.
Whoa
It opens at eight I was there at 8:15, whew,
that was beautiful, that was beautiful, I'm telling you.
It was just us and like, 11 old people.
But this is what I'll tell you, again at 8:15 a.m.
already out of Corn Flakes, come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
Already out.
Who's buying the Corn Flakes?
The seniors, it's the one food they can--
are you getting looks from the other seniors
because you look young and healthy?
Well as soon as we walked up, it was funny,
because I called in advance, you know,
because that's one of my nightmares, this idea of like,
being turned away or being in front of people
and then being like
"Get out of here loser."
Yeah. (laughs)
So, I called in advance, and it was literally, like,
some guy named Mikey and I explained, he was like
"Yeah you can come"
and I was like
"Are you sure? What do I say if someone--"
and he goes
"Say I said you could come"
so literally, I walk up, before I even get in there,
the bouncer at the door was like
"This is senior hours!"
And I was like
"Mikey said I could come, I have asthma and I need--"
she was like, she was like
"Okay, okay go ahead."
You have a guy?
You have a Trader Joe's guy now?
Mikey, you gotta say his name honey.
What have our lives become, used to be like a club
"I know this guy"
now you have a Trader Joe's guy,
that helps you get Corn Flakes,
because it's easy on your stomach.
Exactly. (laughs)
I wish we had more time to talk,
we have a couple more guests,
but this was honestly very enjoyable to talk to you.
It was so wonderful just to see
another human being, gorgeous.
The podcast is called Couples Therapy,
I highly recommend it, I was just listening to it, just,
in preparation for this
and really thoroughly, enjoyed the show.
Oh so glad, I'm so glad.
And then there's rants online.
So Naomi Ekperigin.
Thanks guys.