OUR GOD IS A GOD WHO LETS US COME DOWN
AND GET ON OUR FACES AND CRY IN FRONT OF HIM.
WE DON'T NEED TO JUST COZY UP AND HAVE COFFEE WITH HIM.
HE'S THERE IN ALL OF IT.
PSALM 40 IS FINDING THE AUTHOR OF THE PSALM
ACTUALLY IN A PIT.
THAT'S NO FUN PLACE TO BE.
AND I THINK WE'VE ALL BEEN IN ONE BEFORE.
BUT GOD GENTLY REACHES DOWN AND PULLS THE PSALMIST
OUT OF THAT PIT.
AND I THINK THAT'S... I KNOW THAT'S WHO OUR GOD IS.
SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED IN 2020,
IS I STARTED TO GO SEE A COUNSELOR,
WHICH HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PANDEMIC OR
ALL OF THE TENSION IN OUR WORLD,
BUT SOMETHING TO DO WITH MY DAD.
I, FOR YEARS, THOUGHT I COULD DO IT ON MY OWN.
AND FINALLY, THIS PAST YEAR,
I STARTED TO SEE A COUNSELOR BECAUSE
I REALIZED THAT IT WASN'T SOMETHING
I COULD JUST PRAY THROUGH.
AS A LITTLE GIRL WHO DIDN'T FEEL LIKE I MEASURED UP
AND DIDN'T FEEL LOVED BECAUSE THERE WAS
NOTHING I COULD DO TO EARN MY DAD'S LOVE.
NOTHING. WHATEVER IT WAS, WAS NOT ENOUGH.
AND HE LEFT OUR FAMILY SEVERAL TIMES,
BUT GOD NEVER LEFT ME.
HE NEVER DID.
AND I CAN LOOK BACK NOW AND EVEN SEE SUPER SWEET WAYS
THAT HE PROTECTED ME.
LIKE, WE HAVE THIS WILLOW TREE IN THE SIDE YARD
OF OUR HOUSE, SO THE BRANCHES ALL JUST, YOU KNOW,
COME DOWN AROUND AND NO ONE CAN SEE YOU ARE IN IT.
AND THERE WAS NO WINDOWS ON THE SIDE OF MY HOUSE.
BUT I WENT OUT THERE ALL THE TIME
AND JUST SAT IN THAT TREE AND IT WAS SAFE.
AND I FELT LIKE GOD, LIKE, CREATED THIS PERFECT,
SAFE FORT FOR ME.
WORSHIP. I MEAN, A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK OF IT AS
WORSHIP MUSIC AND WORSHIP, WHICH IS GREAT. AND I LOVE IT.
I LOVE WORSHIP MUSIC.
BUT WORSHIPING HIM AS JUST PAUSING TO REALLY
RECOGNIZE HOW PHENOMENAL HE IS.
AND JUST GO, "WOW, THIS IS WHO GOD IS."
AND WHETHER THAT'S BECAUSE HE ANSWERED A PRAYER OR BECAUSE
HE CREATED SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL OR PUT SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE
OR SURPRISED OR DELIGHTED YOU,
THERE ARE SO MANY TIMES AND WAYS THAT
PUT ME IN AWE OF WHO GOD IS.
RUNNING FROM THIS TO THAT, YOU DON'T BREATHE IT ALL IN.
YOU DON'T NOTICE IT ALL.
AND YOU MISS GLIMPSES OF HIS GLORY, RIGHT?
LIKE, YOU JUST, YOU MISS MOMENTS WHEN HE'S WHISPERING
TO YOUR SOUL.
MY DAD, THIS LAST WEEK
I GOT AN INVITATION TO HIS FOURTH WEDDING.
AND THAT WAS SUPER JARRING TO ME.
LIKE, I KNOW THAT I HAVE A HEAVENLY FATHER WHO IS PERFECT
AND WHO IS LOVING AND WHO HAS SAVED ME.
BUT I HAD NO WORDS IN MY HEAD TO PRAY THEN.
IT WAS JUST KIND OF MORE LIKE, "OH NO, OH NO, NO, NO,"
WAS, LIKE, ALL I REALLY HAD.
'CAUSE HE JUST BROUGHT BACK SO MANY EMOTIONS
AND SO MANY THINGS THAT I'VE DEALT WITH FOR SO LONG.
I RAN A FULL LAP AROUND OUR NEIGHBORHOOD,
AND IT WAS STILL JUST KIND OF LIKE THIS, "OH NO, OH NO, NO."
I'M LIKE, "GOD, I NEED YOU. JUST, I JUST NEED YOU."
I KNOW IT'S JUST A CRY, A HEART'S CRY, NOT EVEN WORDS.
AND I WAS ON MY SECOND LAP AND I JUST KINDA SAW THIS GLIMMER
OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE.
THERE WAS A SHIMMER AND RIGHT NEXT TO IT WAS THIS BIG ROCK
THAT WAS IN SOMEONE'S YARD.
AND RIGHT THEN, THE WORDS IN MY WORSHIP MUSIC WERE ALL
ABOUT STANDING ON THE ROCK.
I FELT JESUS SO STRONGLY PRESENT WITH ME THEN.
I COULD PHYSICALLY FEEL HIS PRESENCE.
I MEAN, AND TO PUT THOSE LYRICS IN MY HEAD JUST
AS I LOOKED AT IT, HE JUST REMINDED ME WHO HE IS.
THAT I CAN STAND ON HIM. SO THAT'S WHERE MY
JOY COMES FROM, BECAUSE I CAN STAND IN HIM,
AND HE REMINDS ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN,
NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING DOWN, HE IS SOLID.
HE IS CONSTANT. HE IS FAITHFUL.
AND HE'LL KEEP PULLING ME OUT OF THAT PIT.
HE'S SAYING, "I LOVE YOU.
"I WANT TO HEAR IT ALL. GO AHEAD, SCREAM AT ME.
"GO AHEAD, CRY AT ME. GIVE IT TO ME.
"I'M YOUR GOOD, GOOD FATHER AND I LOVE YOU,
"AND I WANT TO HEAR WHAT'S ON YOUR HEART,
"AND IT'S OKAY FOR YOU TO BE MAD OR SAD OR ANGRY OR SCARED."
LIKE, "I WANT IT ALL."
AND I THINK THAT THOSE PSALMS GIVE US PERMISSION TO DO THAT.
AND THE PSALMS ARE TAKING TIME TO PRAISE GOD
RIGHT IN THE MIDST OF EVERYTHING.
AND IT'S A REALLY BEAUTIFUL BOOK THAT
ALL THE PSALMISTS ARE WRITING ABOUT
THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY IN THEIR LIVES.
AND ABOUT FINDING TIME TO PRAISE AND WORSHIP GOD
IN THE MIDST OF ALL OF THOSE THINGS.
BECAUSE THERE ARE DAYS, WEEKS, MONTHS, YEARS
THAT, YEAH, THAT JOY IS HARD TO FIND,
OR THE HOPE IS HARD TO FIND, OR LIGHT IS HARD TO FIND.
AND DEPENDING ON THE PERSON AND THE STRUGGLES, THAT VARIES.
BUT GOD SAYS HE WANTS IT ALL FROM US.
AND I THINK IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL THAT
HE SAID, "YES, LET'S KEEP THESE SONGS
"IN THE SONG BOOK THAT IS IN THE BIBLE."
'CAUSE HE COULD HAVE BEEN LIKE,
"OH, THAT'S TOO NEGATIVE. I DON'T WANT IT IN THERE.
"I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO THINK LIKE I'M NOT GOOD."
INSTEAD, HE SAID, "NO, LET'S LEAVE THOSE IN
"SO MY PEOPLE KNOW I WANT TO HEAR IT ALL,
"AND I CAN TAKE IT ALL,
"AND I WANT THEM TO BE HONEST WITH ME. THAT'S WHO I AM:
"A GOD THAT'S A SAFE PLACE TO TAKE IT ALL TO."
AND HE IS JUST... HE IS PURE LOVE
AND HE FILLS ME WITH THAT LOVE.
SO I CAN WORSHIP HIM
BECAUSE HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME.