Ah...ahh...aaaahh...AAAHHHH--!
Shhhhh...
Sorry, was having a good dream...
We've all been a little stressed
ever since leaving a bad impression during RTX:
Steven: Stop. Hands down.
And no laughing, please.
And ever since Farid put security cameras in our office,
we realized that we aren't exactly the most professional group of people,
and being invited back to Austin so soon
doesn't exactly sound like a promising endeavor.
In fact, it sounds like...
...we're going to be fired.
I just think that maybe we should...you know...
...have there be some time between when we see Farid
so we can give him some time to cool down?
Steven: Yeah, that's a good idea, that's a good idea.
Because I mean, he's gonna, he's obviously very heated.
I don't even know why he's firing us, to be honest.
All right, so I'm going to cut to a clip of what Cib does in the office by himself.
This might just be one of the many reasons why we're being released.
So here's Cib...walking around the office naked when everybody's gone
and there he is, spread-eagle, whole butthole gaping towards the camera
and you can see the universe in that brown eye...
But the real question is:
Why did Farid put cameras in the office to begin with?
Each of us wanted to approach this situation in a different way;
James wanted to take a more violent direction.
It involves strong-arming him.
Cib, on the other hand, showed us his interpretation of what "strong-arming" meant.
Cib: Yup, you just grab him...
...and you just...
Thirty minutes until we were at the Rooster Teeth facility,
and I just hoped that Cib wouldn't do that there.
I met Tommy Wiseau one time.
Steven: What? How?
Cib: Tommy Brazil?
Steven: Tommy Wiseau.
Cib: Tommy Brazil?
Steven: Stop saying Tommy Brazil.
Cib: I can't tell if you're saying Tommy Brazil or not.
Steven: Nobody's saying Tommy--
James: Guys, guys, guys, it's Tommy Wiseau,
he was wearing a light blue blazer
with a larger black blazer over it.
Cib: There was three blazers on.
He wore two, the other one was a tank top.
Cib: The yellow one? And a tank top.
Farid greeted us at the gate,
but maybe "greet" isn't the right word.
In fact, he didn't really greet us.
He just kind of looked our way and went,
(whiny) "go inside,
go inside to the venue and i'll be in there soon
did u order this uber
i can get it reimbursed through rooster teeth
itll take a couple months
how much was it fifteen dollars and eighty seven cents
hmmmmm
okay we can give u back i think half of that
minus some taxes and
and whatever fee comes with the
with the paperwork because we uh
we do have to pay our finance team..."
(music)
My biggest worry was Autumn.
We try not to take her anywhere.
But, since she's a part of the team,
Rooster Teeth wanted her to come along.
Steven: If you can just...not talk to anybody,
don't do anything embarrassing--
James: And your boots are untied, Autumn,
what the hell is this?
Cib: You want people to see those Disney feet?
Steven: Oh my God, they're like clogs.
This is the first time I've, like, ever worn shoes.
I was trying to...
What. What were you trying to do, Autumn.
Trying to act like you know social norms?
Stay in your lane, little boy.
After wandering aimlessly for a few minutes,
we had to get everything out in the open.
We had to confront Farid.
Since Rooster Teeth informed us that we can never contact them directly anymore,
Farid is the only person who's going to be able to tell us,
1) Are they firing us?
And 2) Why did he install security cameras?
James: Oh, what's up--what's up, Farid?
James: What are you doing?
Cib: Farid, we love you!
Cib: James.
Did you see Farid?
James: He didn't even SEE me.
James: He just walked past us and didn't even see us...
He has no...
Cib: Like we're ghosts or something.
James: Wait, are we dead?
Oh my God! Are we fucking dead??
I swear to God I knew this was gonna happen!
We have to hide--
Cib: You spat so much. You're spitting.
Fuck, I'm scared, dude!
Steven: Ew! God damn!
Are we fucking dead?
Are we dead?
The only thing to be scared of
is me at night.
'Cause you know what I do. 'Member?
*shuffling noises*
Cib: Watch it. Farid: Yeah, you lick your own shit...
James: What--Farid?
'Sup, dude?
Cib: Is everything okay with us?
EvErythiNg is fiNE, CiB.
I briefly discussed with the group, my plan.
Unfortunately, that's always a mistake.
Cib: Is that what you...
you wanted to talk to him about, being fired?
I kind of forget, which trail...
Which, uh...are y...are we going...
Are we going to try a...a...
Steven: Can I have a brief talk with you like super quick?
Super quick, totally fine.
Is that fine?
NO .
So we went outside to talk.
Farid stood there,
like the lobby boy from the Grand Budapest Hotel on the Titanic.
But I have to admit, he provided the answers we needed.
You have a formula...
...that we need.
Cib: Farid, you talk like you've been in Vietnam.
You know what I mean?
Steven: Speak like a normal boy, dude.
okay in that case
we're just very like fascinated by what u guys do
we're very excited and
we just wanna like be a part of it u know
like we want to learn from u guys
cause u guys are just like so
amateur
James: Yeah, that's great and everything, but
the thing is you put security cameras,
You put illegal security cameras in, watching us
and rather than just watching the videos and trying to study it,
like you'd analyze any sort of film or TV show.
It was a great question.
One that Farid didn't have the answer to.
...Or maybe he did.
We don't know, because immediately,
something terrible happened.
James: The fuck are you doing, Autumn?
Steven: What disease do you have, Autumn?
Straight up, like what disease could you possibly...
...could warrant...doing that?
Go throw it out. Go throw it out.
The biggest mistakes are made with the best intentions.
Unfortunately, Autumn never intends to do anything.
Every one of her actions is based entirely off of a central nervous system tic.
Her life is entirely reactionary.
That's about as much time as I'm willing to focus on Autumn for today.
Even though the security camera question wasn't answered,
I was just glad we weren't fired.
Okay.
Let's just take one more look at the other logo.
After too many wasted hours working with Jon Risinger,
we finally had our logo and branding colors in place.
Everybody seemed delighted
and I could tell we were finally bonding with the Rooster Teeth team.
Jon: Please don't point the camera at me.
Steven: All right.
We even got to shoot Blaine Gibson's show, Slumdog Millionaire.
It was kinda ratchet, but Blaine seemed like a nice guy.
Blaine: Fucking awful.
That was fucking terrible.
Jon Risinger is responsible for every death after 9/11.
If you look at Burnie's car,
you'll notice Red vs. Blue didn't give him enough attention.
Either way, I was just surprised Burnie was gonna let me drive his car.
Burnie: No, I'm gonna drive.
Wow!
Wow, wow, wow!
Dude, that's faster than your car!
FIX YOUR TEETH.
My car's faster than his.
(Cib: Fuck you, bitch.)
Fuck you, bitch!
Steven: You're just a piece of shit.
Who's a piece of shit?
Steven: You are!
I'm a piece of shit?
Steven: Yeah! Take it back.
My car's not slower than his.
Steve, if you looked up the specs,
cockhead?
Steven: Doesn't even matter,
the zero to sixty time,
it doesn't feel like anything if you're in an electric car!
Doesn't feel like anything at all!
So it's still technically faster now, isn't it?
Steven: Well, I think, uh...
both sides...are very true.
You wanna bring it in?
Steven: Go to the dentist.
Oh, your car's slow.