>>> IT'S WEEKEND UPDATE, SUMMER EDITION WITH COLIN JONES AND
MICHAEL CHE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH. THANK YOU.
>> THANK YOU. THANK YOU GUYS.
WE HAVE A FUN SHOW. GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE.
WITH WELCOME TO THE SUMMER EDITION, I'M COLIN CHE.
>> YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS, BUT PRESIDENT TRUMP'S
APPROVAL RATING IS DOWN. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> TRUMP CAN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER BECAUSE EVERYWHERE HE GOES
PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS WAVING TO HIM. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> I THINK WHAT HAPPENED WAS LAST WEEK NORTH KOREA THREATENED
TO DESTROY AMERICA AND WHITE SUPREMACISTS WERE LIKE, UH-AH WE
ARE NOT LETTING SOME ASIAN GUY DESTROY AMERICA.
WE ARE THE ONES WHO DESTROY AMERICA.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> NAZI'S, CONFEDERATES, WHAT IS
WITH THE ALL TIMY THREATS MAKING A COMEBACK.
WHAT'S NEXT, POLIO? YOU KNOW WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE?
YOU EVER READ A RACIST COMMENT UNDER A IMPORTANT FLICK IN WHO
WOULD LEAVE A RACIST COMMENT UNDER A IMPORTANT FLICK.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ALT-RIGHT MEANS, BUT SOUNDS LIKE RACIST
WHITE GUYS TRYING TO REBRAND THEMSELVES.
TIME WARNER SUDDENLY BECAME SPECTRUM.
WHEN I GOT TIRED OF PAYING CHILD SUPPORT AND I BECAME MICHAEL
CHE. PRESIDENT TRUMP ANGERED THEM
WITH THIS SPEECH. >> YOU HAVE VERY BAD PEOPLE IN
THAT GROUP. YOU ALSO HAD PEOPLE THAT WERE
VERY FINE PEOPLE, ON BOTH SIDES. >> OKAY.
IF YOU ARE A FINE PERSON AND YOU HAPPEN TO BE AT A RALLY FILLED
WITH NAZI'S, AT WHAT POINT DO YOU STOP SAYING, HEY, AM I BEING
UNREASONABLE? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> DURING TRUMP'S PRESS CONFERENCE, THE CHIEF OF STAFF,
JOHN KELLY WAS SEEN STARING AT THE FLOOR WITH HIS ARMS CROSSED.
LOOK AT THIS GUY. HE LOOKS LIKE A HOMOPHOBIC
FATHER AT HIS SON'S DANCE REHEARSAL.
DONALD TRUMP SAYS THERE ARE PROBLEMS ON THE LEFT AND THE
RIGHT SIDE -- OF HIS BRAIN. >> MONUMENTS OF JEFFERSON AND
WASHINGTON SHOULD COME DOWN AS WELL.
DONALD TRUMP IS SO FAR ON THE RIGHT HE ENDED UP ON THE LEFT.
I HOPE THEY TAKE THEM ALL DOWN, GEORGE WASHINGTON, THOMAS
JEFFERSON, SANTA, ALL OF THEM. EVEN IF IT'S JUST FOR A FEW
YEARS UNTIL WE HAVE ALL MOVED ON AND QUIETLY BRING IT BACK LIKE
THE COSBY SHOW. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> IT'S BACK. [ APPLAUSE ]
>> YOU KNOW, THESE GUYS PRETEND TO BE PATRIOTS, BUT WHAT IS MORE
UN-AMERICAN THAN CELEBRATING NAZI'S AND CONFEDERATES?
MY GRANDFATHER DIDN'T FIGHT IN WORLD WAR II TO WAVE THE NAZI
FLAG. HE DIDN'T FIGHT IN WORLD WAR II
BECAUSE HE WAS IN JAIL. >> HERE IS THE THING ABOUT WHITE
SUPREMACY, OKAY? WHAT?
IF WARREN BUFFETT OR SAY, CHANNING TATUM START TALKING
WHITE SUPREMACY, AT LEAST HEAR THEM OUT.
CURIOUS TO KNOW WHERE IT GOES. WHEN DOUGY TWO TEETH RUNS OUT OF
THE WOODS, I'M NOT LIKE, WAIT, HOW DO YOU DO IT?
WHAT'S YOUR SECRET? BY THE WAY, YOU THINK WHITE
SUPREMACISTS ARE UPSET THIS WEEK, WAIT UNTIL NEXT WEEK WHEN
EVEN THE SUN TURNS BLACK. [ APPLAUSE ]