- Hello, my sassy pandas.
Are you curious to know which of the 16 personality types
is the most different from your own?
Or to put it another way,
which personality type pairings are odd couples?
It's kind of hard to pin down
because in the Myers-Briggs system
every type has at least some overlap with every other type.
But Frank, wouldn't it make sense
that the most different type is the type
with all four letters the opposite?
It might, not.
Types with all four letters the opposite
actually have all the same cognitive functions.
And if you're unsure of what cognitive functions are
watch my video explaining it in clear, plain, engles.
Basically, it's easier for two types
to understand each other
when they have the same cognitive functions.
So what type pairing has all different cognitive functions
and enough different letter preferences
to earn the title of most different?
What do these odd couple pairings actually look like?
Are they at each other's throats or do they just click, man?
And also, what type of relationship
is the odd couple best suited,
like a romantic relationship?
Professional? Friendship?
A professional friendship where you pay them
to be your friend?
It may surprise you, oh my,
to find the type that's most different from yours,
the odd couple.
Flip the first three letters of your personality type.
So some more examples,
an INTP and ESFP would make an odd couple
as would a ENTP and ISFP.
Now, as this odd couple pairing
has all different cognitive functions.
They have different communication styles
and different temperaments.
It's as different as two types can get.
But like I said,
it's impossible an NBTI to get two types of zero overlap.
So there are some similarities here.
Any odd couple such as the ISFJ
and ENTJ here makes decisions using opposite processes,
which means thinking or feeling.
But they use those opposite processes in the same attitude,
which basically just means introverted or extroverted
because as we know there is not just one type of
thinking or feeling.
There are two.
There's introverted thinking and extroverted thinking,
introverted feeling and extroverted feeling.
So while in this example you have a feeler and a thinker,
they both have extroverted decision making processes,
extroverted feeling, extroverted thinking.
And that J is what gives it away.
Likewise, each odd couple pairing,
and I know you're gonna freak out
'cause they're different fonts here,
they look at reality through different lenses
sensing or intuition, the N or the S.
But they use those perceiving functions
with the same attitude, introverted or extroverted.
So you see here, you have a intuitive type.
You have a sensing type.
That's different but they're both introverted,
introverted intuition, introverted sensing.
Now the odd couple pairing works best in a work,
school, or professional situation.
The two of you will have most of your bases covered
for decision making and information,
which will help you collaborate with each other.
As we established,
you'll have the opposite preference for thinking
and feeling as well as sensing and intuition,
but you'll be using those opposite preferences
in similar ways.
Sound confusing? (Frank laughs)
Let's look at an example.
Let's say an INTJ and an ESFJ,
which is another odd couple pairing
are working on a project together.
I don't know what they're,
something at work.
What do people do at work?
Or let's say it's a school project, whatever.
They have to make a book report about
why do I even try?
So this shared J at the end
means that they will both think
to consult each other before making decisions.
Both will also want to have a structured
and organized approach to their work.
The difference is the INTJ is using extroverted thinking
and the ESFJ is using extroverted feeling.
So while the INTJ is making decisions with the aim to
get results the fastest,
the ESFJ is making decisions in which
they know other people will find value.
So the INTJ with the extroverted thinking is like,
"Let's just do the research as fast as possible,
as efficiently as possible.
Let's split up the work so we're not overlapping at all.
Let's just get it done. I don't care how."
And the ESFJ is like, "Okay, cool,
but if we're gonna like present this project to other people
we have to make sure that they can consume it
in a way where they enjoy it so that they,
like, understand what we're saying.
We gotta make it palatable.
Make the PowerPoint presentations
look a little bit pretty."
Together, this pairing can be quite powerful.
Likewise, the INTJ is perceiving information
with introverted intuition.
And the E. (Frank stutters)
ESFJ is perceiving information through introverted sensing.
So both of those functions prefer to narrow down
and organize the data that they have.
But the INTJ is looking at patterns and systems,
which is intuitive
and they're planning out into the future,
like, making a guess about what's coming next, intuition.
While the ESFJ is looking at the facts
and the details, the sensing.
Making sure all of their known data,
as well as their physical working environment
just like their desk, is neatly organized.
Now their weaknesses will be gathering new information
because J types, especially the IJs,
not good at gathering new information.
And the other issue is trying to pass off
the final responsibility for decisions to each other
or to someone else entirely.
That's what you gotta watch out for with the J types.
They're always looking for someone else to hide behind.
And even if you're not these types in particular
all IJ and EJ odd couples will have this same dynamic.
Of course, just swapping around,
you know, the precise parts.
Now for the P type odd couple,
let's look at an INFP and an ESTP working on a project
or a school thing as an example.
All IPEP odd couples will have this same dynamic.
Both of these types will find it important to
take responsibility for the decisions they make.
They're not gonna try to pass it off on each other
or get caught in a loop of, I don't know, what do you think?
So the difference between these two types is that
the INFP uses introverted feeling
and the ESTP uses introverted thinking.
So while the INFP is making decisions based on
what what they feel is the best, most valuable,
or most ethical option in their minds,
the ESTP is making decisions based on
what they understand the best
and what they think will achieve their goal
in the particular way that they want to do it.
So working on a class project, for example,
the INFP is gonna be like,
"This is what matters most to me about this project,
like these themes or this message
that we're trying to get across.
And I really want to hammer things home based on that,
what I feel."
Whereas the ESTP is like, "Okay, whatever.
You feel those things,
but I'm trying to answer a problem.
I'm trying to solve a puzzle here
and work it out all on my own.
And that's what I'm focused on.
That's what I'm interested in
is putting this project together
in the way that I think is the most perfect way."
Now, if this odd couple can collaborate
and trust each other,
their combined decision making processes
can yield powerful results.
And that's all due to that shared P
at the end of their type.
Now the INFP perceives reality through extroverted intuition
and the ESTP perceives through extroverted sensing.
So both of those functions, because they're extroverted,
are oriented towards gathering new information.
The INFP gathers new intuitive connections
and sees many different possibilities
while the ESTP gathers new factual information
and is easily able to stay on top of
shifting real world conditions.
So the INFP will be really good at brainstorming
and being like, "What if we did this?
What if we did this?
Oh, if we did the project this way
it could turn out like this.
We could do this other thing and it could be like this."
And the ESTP is like, "Okay, cool.
And you know, I'm gonna go out,
I'm gonna easily find a bunch of information
that we can put into our research and, you know,
if something happens that we need to adapt to,
I can do that quickly."
Their weakness is getting into conflict over decisions
or making decisions that are not popular with other people.
The other weakness is waiting too long to take action
due to their desire to always take in more information.
So the odd couple gets on well in a work environment,
but what about after work?
Well as friends, the odd couples get along well,
but they won't typically be the absolute closest of pals.
Now keep in mind, this is me expostulating
upon a theory of looking at the odd couples at scale.
If you're looking at a million odd couples,
what's it gonna look like?
So don't let any of my descriptions
make you think a certain way about certain types, okay.
It's all in good fun.
That's what I'm trying to say.
Odd couple friendships will be most common where
the two people had a shared interest, a project, a job,
or something external
that forced them to get to know each other
and developed shared memories and trust
'cause they're not just naturally
gonna gravitate towards each other
without that external factor.
So you and your odd couple partner might hang out a lot,
but this could be due more to having a similar friend circle
or that shared interest that brought you together
in the first place.
It's likely to be the kind of friend where you're like,
"Yeah, he's a great guy."
But you might not actually know a lot about him
the way you would a close friend.
It's not because either of you are necessarily closed off,
but just because neither of you ever thought
to take any of your conversations there.
It's the kind of friend where after a while
you're both like, "Yeah, I'm good. You good?"
And then you go your separate ways for the day.
Typically not the bosom buddy
with whom you're chatting for hours on end.
Now what you've all been waiting for,
what is the odd couple like as a romantic relationship?
Should all the single ISFPs go out looking for their ENTP?
Should the INFJ
and ESTJ just start printing wedding invitations already?
Or if the odd couple got married
would they become the kind of couple
featured on Dateline one day because one murdered the other?
I don't know why I needed to go there.
I gotta say,
I think the odd couple is theoretically
one of the less likely pairings to occur.
I'm not here saying they're incompatible.
I'm just saying I don't think naturally,
if you looked at scale,
that those types would end up together often.
The odd couple doesn't necessarily have
that instant attraction the way say
the ride or die pairing usually does.
And of course the ride or die pairing is where
you take all four letters and flip them.
It's the same cognitive functions but in reverse order.
So you can understand why those types might be
instantly attracted to each other.
So when this pairing meets,
it might not even occur to either of them like,
"Oh, I could date this person."
I think the odd couple just naturally picks up
that they could work well together
and that's about it.
I think this pairing is most likely to fall in love in a
"Beauty And The Beast" kind of way.
In other words, one of them needs to be cursed by a witch
and turned into a beast and then kidnap the other one.
No, not that.
I'm talking about the song "Beauty And The Beast"
that Mrs. Potts sings.
♪ Barely even friends ♪
♪ Then somebody bends unexpectedly ♪
All the musical theater kids are going crazy right now.
It's like something happens where randomly
one of them is like,
"Oh, hey, why don't we go out on a date?"
They might even be singing it like as a joke.
I think that's a good thing though,
because these types with sparks
not necessarily flying right away
feel more comfortable just being themselves
around each other.
There's no pressure.
Now if this pairing continues romantically,
it's the kind of partnership where both will tell others
that their relationship just works.
In part, because they naturally work well together
as a team.
It's not gonna be the biggest rollercoaster of emotions
kind of pairing, which, you know,
I think maybe that's a good thing too.
But the odd couple has the potential to be
one of the strongest pairings.
This is the kind of relationship where their appreciation
and love for each other will increase steadily
since they will naturally view the relationship
as a project they need to work on together.
Something which many more compatible pairings
might not realize until it's too late.
Thanks for watching and until next time,
stay cool and attractive.
♪ They say a stranger's come to town ♪
♪ They call him Mr. Frank James ♪