hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about seven signs you're
more attractive than you think now let's begin number one emotional matching we're naturally
drawn to people who mirror our personality traits for example if you're smart and creative you'll
find those same things attractive in another person but how do you know which traits you're
the most attracted to in 1992 a biological anthropologist named Helen Fisher explained
how personality chemistry really does work in her book the anatomy of love she divides
our personality traits into four categories each category is named after a different neurological
hormone dopamine represents boldness and creativity serotonin suggests that you're
more careful and conscientious testosterone shows that you're someone who's analytical
and intellectual while estrogen means you're nurturing subtle and have an active imagination
but how do these four categories change our definition of who's attractive Fisher says
that we go for people in the same personality category in other words dopamine dominant
personalities tend to look for other dopamine dominant people so your personality might not
be attractive to some people but to others you're much more attractive than you realize
number two making others nervous do people get strangely nervous around you do you ever notice
people fidgeting tripping over their speech or just lacking confidence it's possible they're just
insecure but more than likely they're intimidated by how attractive you are it's very common to feel
nervous around someone you find attractive you might be outgoing in confident one moment and then
reserved and anxious the next all because someone attractive entered the conversation according to a
2014 study from the Journal of nonverbal behavior body language is usually the first thing to go
in this study people interacted with someone that they found attractive for 10 to 12 minutes in that
short amount of time researchers identified over 35 different kinds of flirting behaviors some were
intentional like twirling your hair or nodding your head while others were entirely subconscious
like leaning forward and smiling once they analyzed their body language vocal patterns came
next now I'm sure you've experienced something like this before when you're around someone you
find attractive it's like your tongue gets tied and knots you can't seem to get a sentence out
without stuttering maybe you use way too many um Xand likes well participants in this study did
exactly the same thing researchers paid particular attention to changes in their actual voice when
flirting participants voices got higher and faster their pitch changed more often and they sounded
much more animated than usual so why do we change our behavior so much around attractive people the
simple truth is we want attractive people to like us we really value their opinions of us because we
want them to think we're attractive too ah that sounds romantic but it doesn't have to be your
brain naturally associates attractiveness with all kinds of positive traits like intelligence
confidence and success so we feel this natural urge to impress them each time you talk to someone
you're attracted to it seems like you're stepping into the spotlight you feel more pressure which
makes you self-conscious about everything you're doing after all you don't want to look stupid in
front of someone you think is attractive so pay attention to the way people behave around you if
their voice or body language starts to change it's probably because they find you attractive
number 3 external predictions how do you know how attractive you are it's a difficult thing
to figure out you can try to look in the mirror and rate yourself but people get it wrong why well
because they're looking at themselves from their own perspective they're looking at the same face
they see in the mirror every single morning your own face doesn't look special or exciting to you
so instead of seeing your attractive qualities all you see are your flaws you hone in on your
messy hair or the the little bags under your eyes you pinpoint these really specific things
that you don't like but in reality no one else would ever notice those tiny flaws to
accurately judge your own attractiveness you need to change your perspective you need to
step into someone else's shoes and try to see yourself like they would this technique was
actually pioneered during a 2010 study by the Association for psychological science in this
experiment researchers asked people to judge their own attractiveness in two ways first they rated
themselves from their own perspective just like researchers expected most people undercut their
own attractiveness but what happened when they looked from the perspective of someone
else what kind of traits would a stranger see instead of noticing your own weird freckle or
your slightly small ears they'd see someone who's tall or has brown hair in other words
they'd focus on general characteristics big things that loosely define your level of attractiveness
when participants use this new perspective they got much closer to their actual attractiveness
rating but why do general traits matter less than specific traits the truth is neither one matters
more or less they just serve different purposes well when you first meet someone you're trying
to decide if you're initially attracted to them right you don't have time to zoom in on all the
little details so you get a sense of what they look like and you ask yourself do I find those
traits attractive over time however you get to see their specific traits more and more it takes
longer but in lasting relationships those specific traits are often what your partner likes the most
so if you want to know how attractive you really are look at yourself from a new perspective ask
yourself if you have those generally attractive characteristics and if you do that's a reliable
sign that you're more attractive than you think number four powerful connections your body isn't
the only thing that makes you attractive in fact a strong emotional connection can outweigh good
looks any day of the week because that emotional connection transforms the way you look at someone
not only do you feel closer to them but it also changes how and why you find them attractive a
2014 study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individual
connections have a deep psychological effect on who you're attracted to alright let's say
someone does something that hurts you from now on you're going to view them in a more negative way
right every time you see that person your brain will associate them with pain or sadness and not
with passion or excitement so even if they're generally attractive on the outside they won't
be individually attractive to you your connection with them has gone south so that's all you'll ever
see on the other hand if you form a positive connection with someone you see them through a
more attractive lens that person appeals to you in a more meaningful way which creates stronger
feelings down the road more often than not these emotional connections form the foundation of any
lasting relationship while physical attraction is good emotional attraction is much stronger
number five the bold and brave courage is another trait that attracts all kinds of people because
most people are afraid to be themselves they're worried about what people are going to think
they're scared of looking stupid but if you don't apologize for who you are people will
feel drawn to you because that bold and brave attitude makes them admire you respect you and
find you more attractive this is especially common with big things like your career almost everyone
is drawn to people who are not only ambitious but also fearless and the pursuit of their dreams they
believe in themselves they motivate themselves on a daily basis and they hold themselves to a
high standard that self-confidence makes these people interesting and inspiring but your career
isn't the only way to be bold and brave you can demonstrate the same personality traits in the
little things you do imagine there's someone you like at work the two of you have been hitting it
off lately so you feel like it's time to ask them on a date it's terrifying to go out on a limb and
be vulnerable like that but taking that risk shows them that you have the courage to put yourself out
there and that simple fact can make anyone more attractive number six infectious enthusiasm we
like people that get us excited people whose enthusiasm spreads like wildfire no matter who
they're talking to enthusiasm is an incredibly attractive trait for so many reasons it makes
you feel special and important when someone shows a genuine interest in you their enthusiasm also
leaves you feeling happy confident and secure you're more willing to bring down your walls
and open yourself up to a stronger emotional bond on top of all that enthusiastic people typically
carry that enthusiasm into their own lives we already talked about why bold and brave people
are more attractive and it works for the same way for someone who's passionate and dedicated
if you're the kind of person who's always taking an interest in others I've got some good news for
you you're probably more attractive than you number seven creative talent sometimes being
attractive has nothing to do with your appearance or your personality a 20-17 study published by
the Royal Society of open science shows that creativity can make someone attractive all on
its own in this study participants looked at a series of face text pairs their job was simple
rate how attractive each person is it turns out whenever faces were paired with creative text they
seemed more attractive in fact faces that were typically unattractive got much higher ratings
all because people thought they were more creative people in other words if you play an instrument or
draw in your spare time you might not realize how attractive you really are hey thank you
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