I think we need to work
on your approach to stress.
Perhaps introduce some techniques
that would help you avoid-
- Losing my shit?
- Hi, I'm Beverley Andre.
- And I'm Dr. Joy Harden Bradford.
- [Beverley] And we are fans of "Never Have I Ever."
Specifically of the great relationship between Devi
and her therapist, Dr. Ryan.
- [Dr. Joy] You know Beverley, one of the things
that I love most about them is that they feel like
they're a great match with one another.
They have great energy.
Historically, for members of minority communities,
finding a good therapist match
can be especially challenging.
Given some of the skepticism within our communities
and cultural nuances that aren't always included
in our professional training.
- [Beverley] Bebe Moore Campbell
National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month
was created to get more of us talking
about mental health in black and brown communities,
so we can become more aware of resources
to share with each other.
- [Dr. Joy] Listen, we know finding a therapist
can feel overwhelming,
but here are some things to think about when looking for a
therapist, who's the right match for you.
- [Beverley] I kind of want
to say it feels effortless, right?
Like, you know when you get into that room, like, okay,
I'm welcomed here, right?
Whether it's the decor,
whether it's the mood, is it low light?
It should feel easy.
Not the work, but the vibes.
It should feel easy.
The environment should feel like, I'm welcomed here.
I feel honored in this space, right?
That my voice is empowered in this space.
Once I leave the room, my emotions were safe in that room.
My thoughts are safe in that room.
They're not coming with me and out to the streets
because confidentiality is real, right?
So I think effortless is definitely
what it feels like for me.
- [Dr. Joy] Yeah, and I think it's also important
to think about like,
therapy is as different as the therapist
who practice it, right?
Like we might have the same kind of training,
but the way it looks in session could be very different.
I think it's really important to find a therapist
that you match with
because that's where the work actually happens, right?
If you don't actually find a therapist
who's a good match for you, who you don't feel heard by,
you're not going to share the things
that you really need to share.
- [Beverley] When you sit with the therapist
you are already feeling either comfortable
or you're feeling awkward.
Most of the time, it's a mix of both, right?
Because you're nervous, especially if you're a first timer,
but by the time you get to the end of the first session,
if it's a consultation,
you know whether or not you feel comfortable
with talking to that person, if you feel grounded.
- [Dr. Joy] It's important to know
that you can disagree with your therapist, right?
I think sometimes clients come in thinking
they have to agree with everything the therapist says.
But it's great actually for you to push back on
if your therapist says something
that you don't completely agree with,
to let them know that you actually don't agree with.
So if you find yourself feeling
like you can't talk back to them,
or you're afraid to correct them,
that might also be an indication
that it might not be a good therapist for you.
- [Beverley] Well first of all, don't ghost your therapist.
If you're considering breaking up with your therapist,
I would say just bringing it up
in conversation with your therapist.
But if you choose to,
then go ahead and just inform the therapist,
like hey, I don't think this is working for me.
I would appreciate a referral.
Do you have anybody that you can refer me to?
Or I'm just not ready for therapy right now,
I don't want to continue.
- [Dr. Joy] I also think it's really important
to find a therapist who specializes
in the thing that you are concerned with, right?
You know, so if you are struggling with an anxiety disorder,
you want to visit their websites
and see if they talk about treating people
with anxiety disorders.
But kind of generally, all therapists are trained
in some of the same things, right?
And the different levels,
or the different degrees
indicate maybe how much longer you went to school,
whether there was a particular focus.
So you're right like, the letters do mean something,
but not as much as I think some people think.
It's important to know that you're not going
to click with every therapist, right?
Just like everybody is not your friend,
every therapist is not going to be the right match for you.
And so I think it's important for people to know
that sometimes you might go to a couple of different people
before you actually find the right one
who is a good match for you.