It is time to play the Midnight Gameshow!
Yeah!
Of course, this is the only game show where if you snooze...
AUDIENCE: You lose!
WELSH ACCENT: Tonight's Midnight Gameshow contestant is Darren.
Now, Darren is from Wales, and I went to Newport
in the dead of night, all the way down the M4, and I woke up Darren,
and we're going to meet him now, we're going to watch him!
So, ladies and gentlemen, it's Darren!
CHEERING
Very good, Dazza.
Hi, Darren! How are you doing? Are you OK?
Here's Darren, and Darren was set up by his girlfriend Leanne.
Big round of applause for Leanne,
because without Leanne,
I would never have come in, Darren.
Now, you might not remember everything that happened that night.
No. I need to tell the audience that
of all the Midnight Gameshows,
we've done a lot now, you were the one person who never
really woke up, did you, Darren? No, I didn't.
You had no idea what was going on the entire time.
Let's see what happens when you're fast asleep at home. OK.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Darren's Midnight Gameshow!
WHISPERS: OK, we're in Newport in South Wales.
I'm here with Sir Bryn Terfel, we're outside a park,
which is a little bit tense, but we're going to get
inside Darren's home very shortly.
He is fast asleep, and tonight Darren is going to be woken
from deep slumber by Sir Bryn's rendition
of the Welsh national anthem.
LOCK RATTLES
Oh, my God! Oh, sugar!
Oh, my God!
HE SINGS NATIONAL ANTHEM IN WELSH
Darren, welcome to the Midnight Gameshow!
Thank you, Sir Bryn. How are you?
I'm... Oh!
Oh, God.
I'm sorry to put you through that.
Sir Bryn Terfel. Bore da. Bore da.
Thank you very much, Sir Bryn. Thank you very much.
We'll see you later. Thank you. That's Sir Bryn.
Oh, God. All right, we've got to crack on.
Please welcome this nocturnal creature.
Oh, whoa, whoa...
It is a tarantula?
Is that a real tarantula?
It is, yeah. I don't like that.
Can you stand over there slightly?
OK.
Can you complete the following -
what did Incy-Wincy the spider climb up?
Incy-Wincy Spider climbed up...
Um...
Climbed up... What did it climb up?
No, that's the question.
Incy-Wincy spider climbed up the...?
Something sprouts.
Something sprouts?
Maybe. It's less vegetable-y,
and more to do with a spider...
Maybe if the whole crew sing it, it might help? Yes, please do.
CREW: # Incy-Wincy Spider climbed up the waterspout... #
No, you don't have to sing the answer!
There you go, you got given the answer.
And finally, spell "spider" backwards.
Spider, so S-P-I-D-E-R.
No, that's forwards, spell it backwards.
So S-P-I-D-E-R...
No, that's forwards again.
You stop it!
S-P-I-D-E-R.
R-E... Spider...
D...
Spider...
Spid... Oh, God, I can't even think.
Is the wrong answer! Thank you very much, the tarantula!
Oh, that was awful!
You were quite cool with the spider, though? I was.
You weren't really worried about it,
because you don't even think this is real, do you?
No, no. I'm absolutely dreaming this.
OK, who is this, please?
Hey! Oh, my God. I'm in town! How are you doing, my man?
Why...?
BOTH LAUGH
I'll start you off. Mr...?
Mr... Oh, my God.
He's just been woken up in the night. No, he's Mr...
Yes?
Mr...
..Motivator.
Motivator! You should be ashamed of yourself. Put that on.
You need that. OK, you pop that on.
Now, all I'm going to ask you to do for Mr Motivator is just describe
the exercises that he is currently doing.
OK, go for it, first one.
Here we go, come on, you can do it.
Yes, I know I can.
Look in my eyes, come on, you got it.
OK, I'm going to have to press you now.
Hang on, let's have a think.
Squats, squats.
Yes! Brilliant. That's an easy one.
You'll get this, no problem at all.
Whoo! Whoo! You're jumping...
And what's the shape? Jumping stars.
Oh, close! Star jumps.
Star jumps. So close.
He's wearing me out. I'm going to have to lay down in bed with you.
Thank you very much, Mr Motivator!
Yeah, my man!
Oh, yeah!
Thank you.
We've just woken him up in the night.
Thank you very much, Mr Motivator.
Brilliant, that was exceptional.
Now, please welcome Timmy Mallett.
Oh, my God!
To play Mallett's Mallet with your wonderful girlfriend Leanne.
Mallett's Mallet's a word association game where you mustn't
pause or hesitate, repeat a word or say a word I don't like,
otherwise you get a bash on the head like this,
or it's like this, and it's the one who snoozes who loses.
I want you to look at each other now and go, "Bleurgh!"
Bleurgh! Look at everybody here and go, "Bleurgh!" Bleurgh!
What do you say to these two?
CREW: Bleurgh!
First word is - things you might find in the bathroom.
Go on. Yes, a sponge.
A sponge. Soap. Soap.
Erm....
"Erm" is not a good answer.
Things you might find on a building site.
Bricks. Bricks, yes.
Cement. Cement.
Shovel. A shovel, yes.
Erm...
No, that's too slow!
Here's the decider, then. The decider? The decider.
I'm on tenterhooks. All right.
Things you might find in Wales.
Erm...
A sheep.
A sheep? You definitely find sheep in Wales.
I like that, come on, Leanne.
A Welsh dragon.
A Welsh dragon, that's a good answer.
Erm...
Hey, come on, come on, in Wales, you're in Wales now!
What are you going to find in Wales?
Erm...
What?!
Timmy Mallett, ladies and gentlemen.
Now please welcome Tom Jones. Oh, yeah!
All right, mate. There we go. Oh, yeah.
So this is the real Tom Jones. Yeah.
Now, all you're going to have to do is fill in the lyrics.
This should be very, very easy to these classic songs, OK?
Don't worry, crack on.
# Well, she always knows her place She's got style, she's got face
# She's a winner, she's a lady
# Ooh, ooh, ooh
# She's a lady She's a lady
# Talking about my little lady
# And the lady is...
# Fine. #
Hold that...
But it was very close, and you got so into it.
# Pussycat, pussycat, I love you
# Yes, I do
# You and your pussycat nose
# What's new, pussycat?
# Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
# What's new, pussycat?
# Oh-oh-oh-oh
# What's new, pussycat?
# Oh-oh! #
That was really good.
That's what I was expecting you to do with the spider.
Thank you very much, Tom Jones!
Oh, yeah, thank you.
Let's see those hips before you go. Whoa, shake it, baby, yeah!
Thank you very much, and goodnight.
CHEERING
It's Wacaday!
So many questions.
Darren, firstly, now, what was going on with Incy-Wincy Spider?
Do you now at least know...?
Yes, I've asked lots of people now, and they've given me the answer!
Very good - he climbed up the water...? Sprout.
Oh, no! OK.
I've woken up so many people, and it's really impossible to not
swear under the circumstances, but, incredibly, you would wake up
and say this... Oh, sugar!
A whole camera crew in the middle of the night,
and you went, "Sugar!"
You were absolutely fantastic.
It was a brilliant Midnight Gameshow.
Oh, come on, again.
Of course, Darren, you cannot go away empty-handed.
OK. We have for you, of course... Oh, my God. ..a Mallett's mallet.
You can take that with you.
And here... Yes?
..we have Incy-Wincy Spider climbing up the SPROUTS!
I want you to treasure that,
and you get our iconic "do not disturb" sign,
this is solid silver, and it is to ensure
this never happens again.
It's the cwtch king, ladies and gentlemen,
Darren's Midnight Gameshow!