>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME MARK CONSUELOS!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪
>> NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH, NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO.
YOU HANDSOME BASTARD.
YOU LOOK SO DAMN FRESH, WHEN I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT YOU
CO-HOSTED WITH YOUR WIFE KELLY RIPA THIS MORNING ON "LIVE WITH
KELLY."
>> WE DID.
>> Stephen: I GOT THIS SENT OVER TO US.
THERE IS YOU WITH GELLMAN RIGHT THERE WITH THE UNDEREYE --
>> BEAUTY IS VERY HARD, MAN.
>> Stephen: IT IS.
LET ME ASK YOU, BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE VERY CHIPPER AND FRIENDLY
TOGETHER.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WHEN YOU'RE NOT ON CAMERA, ARE YOU THAT CHIPPER AND
FRIENDLY WITH EACH OTHER?
>> COMATOSE.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT A SPANISH WORD, RIGHT?
YOU'RE ACTUALLY OUT?
>> NO, THAT'S WHO WE ARE.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
WE'RE SMALL PEOPLE, WE BOUNCE AROUND A LOT.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE THREE CHILDREN.
ARE YOU CHILDREN SMALL?
>> I HAVE A 19-YEAR-OLD, A 15-YEAR-OLD AND A 13-YEAR-OLD.
>> Stephen: AND YOU ACTUALLY JUST SPENT A FAIR AMOUNT OF TIME
AWAY FROM THEM DOING "PITCH."
>> I WAS SHOOTING LOS ANGELES AND MY OLDEST CAME TO ME.
MY DAUGHTER LOVES LOS ANGELES AND COULD LIVE THERE TOMORROW.
>> Stephen: WHICH ONE IS SHE.
THE MIDDLE, 15.
AND MY 19-YEAR-OLD THINKS IT'S EVIL THERE.
HE'S VERY AFRAID OF LOS ANGELES.
I SAID, MICHAEL, YOU LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY, ONE OF THE
HARDEST CITIES IN THE WORLD.
YOU'RE SCARED OF LOS ANGELES?
HE SAYS, YES!
WE WERE WORKING ON THE BOARDWALK ON VENICE BEACH AND HE SEES
THESE GUYS AND HE SAYS, DAD, THEY LOOK LIKE GANG MEMBERS.
I SAID, YEAH, 12:00 IN THE AFTERNOON, A LADY WITH HER
STROLLER, WE'RE FINE.
SO WE LAUGHED AND WE'RE ROLLING OUT OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
WE PUT ON LATIN MUSIC AND HE SAID, DAD!
DON'T PLAY THE LATIN MUSIC!
I WAS, LIKE, WAIT A MINUTE, DUDE, I'M LATIN, I CAN PLAY
WHATEVER I WANT.
>> Stephen: WHAT, DID HE THINK IT WAS A BIRD CALL OR SOMETHING?
( LAUGHTER ) >> I'M NOT PLAYING IT TO MAKE
FUN OF THEM, I LIKE THE MUSIC.
I SAID JUST FOLLOW MY LEAD, YOU WILL BE FINE.
>> Stephen: DOES HE KNOW HE'S LATIN, TOO?
>> HE ABSOLUTELY DOESN'T.
( LAUGHTER ) I HAVE BEEN OUT IN L.A. FOR,
GOSH, NINE, TEN WEEKS AND MOST OF IT'S BEEN BY MYSELF.
>> Stephen: SO BACK TO THE BACHELOR LIFESTYLE?
>> MEN OF A CERTAIN AGE SHOULD NOT BE LEFT ALONE, BE PUSHED
BACK OUT INTO THE WILD, SO TO SPEAK.
>> Stephen: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?
>> 20 YEARS.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE COMPLETELY CONDITIONED TO HAVING SOMEBODY
LOOK AFTER YOU.
>> FIRST THING, I HAD THIS COOL CONVERTIBLE THAT I HAD SHIPPED
OUT THERE.
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA FOR ME TO DRIVE A
CONVERTIBLE IN LOS ANGELES.
I PULL OUT ON SUNSET, PUT THE TOP DOWN.
I LOOK AROUND AND IT'S ABOUT 4,000 45-YEAR-OLD GUYS IN
CONVERTIBLES.
AND WE ALL LOOKED AT EACH OTHER AND I AM A CLICHE.
I PUSHED THE BUTTON AND I HAVE BEEN DRIVING IT WITH THE TOP UP.
>> Stephen: THE BEST THING ABOUT A CONVERTIBLE IS KEEPING
THE TOP UP.
IT'S QUIET, KEEPS THE RAIN OUT, IT'S FANTASTIC.
>> IT'S RIDICULOUS.
I HAVE BEEN LIVING ALONE.
THERE IS A KITCHEN AND IT MIGHT AS WELL BE LIKE A ROCKET
LAUNCHER.
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO USE IT.
>> Stephen: DID YOU USE IT?
PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY AND EGG WHITES.
>> Stephen: ON A SANDWICH?
OMETIMES.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
( LAUGHTER ) >> THIS HOUSE, LIVING IN
NEW YORK, YOU DON'T HAVE A KEYS, YOU HAVE A DOORMAN OR A SWIPE
THING.
>> Stephen: SURE, IF YOU LIVE IN A NICE PLACE, MARK CONSUELOS.
>> I GO INTO THE HOUSE AND THERE IS KEYS EVERYWHERE.
THERE IS AN ABUNDANCE OF KEYS IN THIS HOUSE.
THAT'S INTERESTING.
MAYBE I'LL USE THEM, MAYBE I WON'T.
FINE, I GO OUT THE FRONT DOOR TO GET A FOOD DELIVERY AND THE DOOR
SHUT BIND ME, FINE.
I GET IT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I GO TO OPEN THE DOOR AND IT'S LOCKED.
IT'S A SELF-LOCKING DOOR.
>> Stephen: SURE.
AND NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
THERE IS NO DOOR MAN.
>> Stephen: GOOD LORD!
AND BY THE WAY, THERE IS NOBODY OUTSIDE IN L.A.
YOU'RE EITHER IN YOUR CAR OR YOUR HOUSE.
>> Stephen: IF YOU WALK ON THE STREET, IT'S, LIKE, WE'LL TAKE
YOU TO A PSYCH WARD.
LET'S GO.
>> I FELT OUT OF PLACE SO I CALLED AN UBER.
>> Stephen: SO DRIVE YOU TO A LOCKSMITH?
>> GREGOIRE AND I, WE WORKED IT OUT.
WE DROVE AROUND.
I WAS, LIKE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
HE SAID, DO YOU HAVE A KEY, CAN YOU BREAK IN?
I SAID, I'M MEXICAN, I CAN'T BREAK IN!
I'M LATIN!
>> Stephen: THIS IS HOW SO MANY BACHELOR'S DIE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: ALL AROUND LOS ANGELES THEIR DRIED HISSICS
ARE ON DOORS, ALL OVER LOS ANGELES.
>> MY EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING SKILLS WERE OFF AND I WAS LIKE,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
THERE'S NO ONE TO CALL.
I CALLED HOME.
>> Stephen: YOUR WIFE.
YEAH, AND THEY ARE PARTYING.
THEY ARE -- THERE IS KIDS THERE, PEOPLE THERE, THEY'RE PARTYING,
I HEAR SHOES IN MY HOUSE.
I GO, ARE THERE PEOPLE WITH SHOES IN MY HOUSE?
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T ALLOW SHOES IN YOUR HOUSE?
>> THERE IS CLICKITY-CLACK, I'M LIKE, I HEARD THAT.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WITH THE DEEP PILE
WHITE CARPET AND YOU MAKE PEOPLE TAKE THEIR SHOES OFF.
>> NO.
IF SOMEONE ASKS ME IF I WANT THEM TO TAKE MY SHOES OFF, IT'S
AMAZING.
>> Stephen: I'VE NEVER HEARD ANYONE SAY THAT.
>> I SEE WHAT'S ON THE SIDEWALKS HERE.
IT'S BAD.
>> Stephen: YOU SHOULD STAY IN LOS ANGELES.
NOBODY'S ON THE SIDEWALKS.
DID YOU HAVE FUN PLAYING "PITCH."
>> I PLAYED BALL TILL MY SOPHOMORE YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL.
THE SHOW IS A PARTNERSHIP WITH MAJOR LEAGUE BASKETBALL.
I SAW YOUR WINDUP.
>> Stephen: I GOT THE WINDUP DOWN.
THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
MARK CONSUELOS, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!