Welcome back to New Day Northwe.
You know, we hear in the news
quite often about horrible thins
like assaults, home breakins.
Now it's important to know how to protect
ourselves and our family physic.
But safety experts say there are
signs so many of us can detect before
anything needs to get physical.
The author of Sharp Women, Kelly Sayer,
is here to talk about situational awareness,
and I'm so glad she is welcome to the show.
This is something my mom always said to me.
She said, keep your head on a swivel.
Yes, she was a single mom.
She knew the dangers out there.
She'd personally experienced it.
But let's talk about what you
mean by situational awareness.
Sure. So situational awareness
is using all of your senses
because a lot of times we hear
keep your head on a swivel. Yea.
Which makes us think of our eyesight.
But our sense of hearing works at night,
You know, we can hear in the da,
hear around corners, so.
To me, it's using all of our senses and
trusting our intuition when something's off.
Yeah, and then making our
safety a priority. Yeah,
I want to ask about certain thi,
like trusting our gut in a seco.
But first, why do you focus as a as an
educator, as an author on on situational
awareness over physical self-defense?
Because why would I want to
get into a physical fight?
If you're going to,
if you get into a fight,
there's a very good chance
that you're going to get hurt
no matter what at some level.
So if we could avoid it altoget,
why aren't we talking about tha?
That's a good point.
Especially the physical trauma
that happens through these thin.
Even if you're okay or somewhat,
you're never going to be okay.
So you say back to that intuition piece,
you say that's our biggest superpower.
To keep us safe. Why?
How can this be used?
How do we access this if maybe we haven't?
We've ignored it in the past.
We use our intuition every day
in so many different ways,
but we haven't always associated
it with our personal safety.
So what I love to do and what I
talk about in my book is, hey,
here's how you use these natural
skills in your everyday life.
Here's how to use it in regards
to your personal safety.
Talking about as women, we do.
Intuition is our superpower,
and we need to harness it for our safety.
If we have a friend walk in and
she's not having a good day,
we know instantly just by reading her.
Nonverbals and nonverbals
are hardest to fake.
Nonverbals are the truest
form of communication.
Why
do you think we ignore it?
Because I know, So I've done itd
not I I do trust my intuition a.
But I have friends.
We've all done it. Why?
Why do we do that? Because
how many times have we been tol?
By others?
Oh, you were probably overreact.
You were reading too much into .
They weren't there.
And so then we start to second guess,
start to deny our intuition
because we can't prove it.
Like I always say, situational
awareness is great if nothing happens,
but if nothing happens,
we can't confirm that something would have
happened had we not listened to our gut.
So it's really hard to.
Tell someone.
No, I know that because trusting my gut,
I stayed safe.
Yeah, but we still need to
do it because why again,
would we ever want to push it or wait,
Yeah,
let's talk about some real life situations
and trusting our gut and not ov,
like thinking we're over acting we're not.
Things like persistence.
You say it's not romantic,
it's stalking when someone goes too far,
right. Because we often think t,
oh, if they're pursuing me and
they're very persistent or determined,
that's a sign that they're real.
Interested in me, right?
It's not. By most definitions,
stocking is 2 or more contacts t
could be texts, phone calls, em.
And you know, a situation that I share in
the book is a woman went on a first date,
wasn't interested in a second d,
and the gentleman kept being persistent
and started sending flowers to her work.
And what happened is she said ts
is not okay with me, I've told .
To stop contacting me.
I'm not interested.
Yeah, but the other women around her were.
Oh,
we'll give him a chance.
Look how he's sending
flowers. And so we get outside
pressure from other women
saying and then we second guess,
well, maybe he isn't so bad,
or maybe he is really sweet,
but you're forgetting.
No. You said no.
And he's not respecting your boundaries.
Yeah. Which could lead to
problems in the future.
And let's just be clear.
If somebody is keeping after you
it's not about you it's they goa
problem with their own insecuri.
This is not about like oh
you're so special and wonderful.
There is something wrong with that person.
Correct. They're latching on to.
So let's keep that clear.
Walking home. We're walking hom.
How do we keep safe? Well,
and and context matters and it depends.
Is it during the day look in
the shop windows look in your.
Back to surfaces to see if somee
following me does anything seem?
Pay attention to that.
Trust your gut again.
At night, I always carry a flashlight.
It's one of the best self-defene
tools and it can go with me
everywhere on airplanes,
in concerts like a little palm
handheld tactical flashlight.
I love it because I'm going to
be shining and as I'm walking
through the dark and looking
in all of the corners, so.
Kind of going back to what you
mentioned about the girl getting
the flowers and nobody's so swe.
A lot of us are taught to be po.
Don't be rude. Be polite.
You can, you know,
more sugar with honey than vine.
Why? Why?
You have a situation outside a
coffee shop that you wanted to share.
Tell us about that. Yes.
So a girlfriend and I were doina
long goodbye standing outside te
entrance of the coffee shop anda
gentleman interrupted us and said, hey,
are are you selling any Girl Scout cookies?
And I said no.
He asked this question again.
I said no. And then he then he got upset.
Geez lady. I was just trying to
start a conversation and I said,
and he walked away.
And the message of that is a
you don't need to apologize.
You don't need to be nice.
And keep in mind he interrupted you and or
me and my girlfriend having a conversation.
So who was being rude?
Who was being, who wasn't being respectful.
And that's the thing as women we don't
need to apologize for being dir.
Yeah.
We only have a few more seconds.
I wish we had more time.
My producers say we have to wra.
But can I just ask you really quickly,
You're traveling.
I was just recently traveling ae
with my children and I was scard
as a scared rabbit because I jut
thought I felt so vulnerable.
Any quick advice for when you're traveling
alone as a woman For your traveg
again, this is a new environmen.
Maybe you haven't been there be.
The doorstopper alarms are grea.
Traveling with that flashlight o
always have some sort of tool.
And again, trust your gut.
It all comes back to trust your intuition.
Thank you so much for giving us
permission to have the strength.
Marriage and not feel bad.
I really appreciate you.
Please. Thank you.
Yes, thank you.