(upbeat music)
(Matt sighing)
- Okay.
Not bad,
a little soft in there, but I'm 41.
You know, what can you do?
This,
there it is, my white whale of Back Fat.
Yeah, that's what's gotta go.
Say goodbye to the love handles.
- [Back Fat] I'm not going anywhere.
- Who said that? - Over here?
- Back Fat?
- Yeah.
(dramatic music)
You better get used to seeing me around
'cause I, ain't going anywhere.
- Yeah, you are going somewhere
because I'm gonna metabolize you,
and then, you know, get rid of you.
(Back Fat laughs)
- Without me you are nobody.
- No, no, you know what?
I don't need you any more than,
any more than I need-
- Another date with the drive through like yesterday?
- That's not fair,
I hadn't eaten all day and my blood sugar was low.
- Sweet, sweet, delicious excuses,
like music to my muffin top ears.
- You know, I don't need to listen to this.
You're a dead man walking.
- You'll never get rid of me, you know why?
- Why?
- Because to get rid of me, you need to get rid of beer
and you need to get rid of stress.
- Okay, I can't get rid of the beer and the stress
'cause the beer helps me manage the stress.
- I know, I understand, hence my invincibility.
- Fine, fine, fine, I'll do it.
I will give up beer.
- Sure, for like two weeks.
- No, I'll give it up for good, I'll do other stuff.
I'll do yoga.
- The stretchy thing? - Yeah, that'll help.
- You know what, why don't you do me a favor tomorrow?
Head down to fourth, get the triple fudge cookies
because I'm about three weeks away
from completely merging with your ass,
and then I'll be unstoppable. (laughs)
- Okay, yeah, make your jokes, laugh it up.
My Will Power, gonna destroy you.
- My very existence is proof that you have no Will Power.
- That's what you think.
Will Power, get in here, show this guy whose boss.
Sorry, one sec, Will Power?
Will? - Okay.
This, my ears right there.
- Sorry. - I'll go see.
- No, you don't need to get, I don't need you to try.
- Hey, Will Power, Willy?
Will, Will Power, Will Power?
- He'll be in a sec, he's just, he's coming.
- I highly doubt it.
(laptop beeping)
- What's that?
- Ahoy, hoy.
- Will Power, what are you doing?
- Hang on. (button clicking)
Yeah, I'm only doing video meetings still.
- Why, restrictions have lifted?
- I just kinda got used to the no shower thing before work,
not to mention the pants thing.
Whoo, oh, I thought you'd be able to see more than that.
- Okay, listen, I need you to deal with Back Fat here.
- That, Back Fat? - Yeah, destroy him.
- Right, okay, listen,
I already kinda tried to destroy him that time
with the milkshake, and we all know how that went down.
- Okay, listen, I don't wanna rehash your lactose issues
right now, okay?
Now, I'm not gonna be pushed around by this guy anymore.
You understand?
Now, work your magic.
- My, my magic?
Yes, okay, listen Back Fat.
Do you prefer Mr? - I don't care.
- Okay, confident.
Mr. Back Fat, you better listen up and listen good.
You've overstayed your welcome.
- Boo. - And I...
- He's on the toilet.
- I'm sensitive to loud noises.
- Okay, okay, come on.
He's not even in the same room as you.
- This is really stressful.
Maybe you should just go for a beer.
- Now, you're making sense.
- No, no, no, no.
Dig deep, okay, come on.
Your last name is literally power.
Now we are done negotiating with this guy.
- Okay, I'm gonna paste a link
to my favorite Brene Brown, "TED Talk".
- Okay, no, no, look, I love that video.
You know how much I love that video
but we've seen it like 19 times.
It's powerless against him.
- Yeah, I mean Brene Brown, Tony Robbins, Gary V,
it's not gonna help.
- Okay, well, Tony Robbins was my backup
so I'm out of ideas.
- No, no, we are not giving up.
Now, Will Power,
you tell Back Fat that I am a strong person.
- Back Fat, Matt is a small person.
- Strong, I'm a strong person.
- Right, right, right.
Matt is a strong person.
- Well, that's clearly not true.
- Okay, he has refuted my assertion
that you are a strong person.
- Wanna bite?
- No, Will Power, tell him that I am not drinking beer
or eating donuts, Monday to Friday starting now.
- Right, okay.
Back Fat, Mr. Back Fat,
no more drinking from Monday to Friday starting now.
- Oh, well, that's not gonna work.
He's got his anniversary coming up
so that's two glasses of wine.
- Oh, that's a good point.
- That is a good point, this week isn't great.
- Well then next week.
- He's at golf with the boys on Tuesday.
- Oh, yeah, that's a six pack and some Fireball.
I'm just gonna pull up a calendar here.
- Yeah, you might as well just go to the next month
'cause they have dinner with the Maulchuks.
- Oh, damn, they're the ones
with all the conspiracy theories, aren't they?
- Yeah, yeah, that's a five beer minimum.
- Okay, so we are now booking into June at this point.
- Uh-oh, patio season.
- I love patio season, so that's a bust.
Okay, looks like there's a week mid-August
that's currently free.
- Okay guys, why don't I just start hitting the gym
five days a week?
(both laughing)
- Hitting the gym. - What?
- Five day, (laughs) five days a week?
Oh, my goodness,
you gotta respect that he still has a sense of humor, huh?
- That's a good one.
- Although it would've been a much better crafted joke,
had you been drinking?
- It's true, you really are funny and more charming
when you drink.
- Hey, Will Power. - Howdy.
- What do you say, ditch this guy, come work for me?
(Matt laughs)
- Yeah, look who's funny now, huh?
Don't be ridiculous.
- Are you serious?
- I am very, very serious.
I mean I'm looking to expand
and we've got a great, great benefits package.
Do you like chocolate?
- Yes. - Do you like chicken wings?
- Delicious. - Do you like mayonnaise
on that chicken? - Delicious-er.
- You like chicken fingers?
- Deep fried tastes like everything.
- Do you like pizza? - Who doesn't?
- Do you like Cool Ranch? - Deliciousness
dipped into more creamy deliciousness.
- Oh, yes, you are overqualified.
- Yes.
- Okay, okay, what is going on here?
- It's pretty clear, if you just take that, thanks.
- Oh, yeah.
- Will Power.
- It's happy hour somewhere.
- What? - Yeah,
what do you got to do today?
- Well, I got a whole bunch of bookkeeping
I gotta catch up on.
- Oh, you can do that tomorrow.
- Yeah, here, just take that beer, hold it, yeah.
Yes, there you go.
The choice is yours and yours alone to make.
- What do I do? - Don't look at me,
ask my new boss.
- Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to the toilet.
- You're awful, how do you get this job?
- I dunno, I just ended up here.
oh, my God, it's cream cheese,
that's not cream cheese.
- I do feel less stressed just holding them.
I have to admit.
(upbeat music)
Okay. - Yeah.
- [Man] Perfect, nice.
(group laughing)
- [David] Okay, cut.