- Okay, so the main source of content on the show,
the thing we always talk about is your money, right?
We talk about your life, but it's also related to your money
because it's what I love. It's my passion,
I love helping you with this area of your life.
But I think it's always important to remind you guys
that life in general, you have to realize,
is not all about money.
I think some people can get under the illusion of, okay,
if I can just get my money in order,
and I can just get an emergency fund,
I can just get out of debt, I can just pull retirement,
I can just become a millionaire,
I can just pay off my house,
I can just live and give like no one else,
then I will be happy.
Everything will be great.
Now, will parts of your life be great?
Absolutely. You will not have the stress and the burden
of carrying around debt and not having an emergency fund
and all that carries with that, absolutely.
So much stress is relieved when you are wise
with money, but it is not the ultimate.
Like even when you get there,
if you have not worked on yourself and who you are,
you, yourself, still moved down the Baby Steps.
Does that make sense?
If you are struggling with certain things in your life
outside of money, and you don't work on that
and fix that and fix that part of your heart
and that part of your life, it just continues on.
I kinda like to think about it like when Winston
and I built our house, and we moved in.
You know, right before we moved in
and during the build process,
I had like a solid two months where I was like, man,
life is just gonna be so much better once we move in.
If we could just move into this new house,
everything will be better.
Oh, once we get into this house,
and you know, I kinda started like making it
this huge deal in my head.
And then I had the reality check where I was like,
oh, it is still us that are moving in.
It's still our gifts and our, the wonderful parts of us,
but also the bad parts of us, and the sucky parts of us
that we all have. Like that's still moving in.
Even the small things of like, the kids
are still gonna be throwing just crap on the floor.
Like gross food on the floor
always ends up on your kitchen floor when you have toddlers.
That is still gonna happen in that kitchen.
Everything's not going to just be euphoria.
It's not gonna fix everything.
And so I think some people get under the illusion
of all this money stuff, if I can just fix it all,
then I'm gonna be okay.
And the truth is, again,
you are still the person that is walking through the steps.
So what you have to remember is
that your net worth is not your self-worth.
Who you are as a person, your character,
everything about you, is not dependent
upon how much is in your retirement,
how much is in your bank account.
It really doesn't.
Now, again, are those things great to have?
Absolutely. For sure. Trust me, it's wonderful.
But not working on yourself and who you are
is such a key part of this journey.
I think some people can feel really defeated
when starting out, and they live in this guilt
in the past and all of that.
Listen, sister. No, no, no. Wake up.
Nope, that $100,000 student loan
does not dictate who you are.
Now, was that a mistake?
Sure, you could say that.
But that mistake is not dictating who you are today.
What you choose to do with your life and who you are,
that's what dictates you and your family.
So what you have to realize is your past mistakes,
they're always gonna be there.
And we all have them in every part of our lives.
We've all made those mistakes.
But if you sit in that and you just say,
oh, that's just who I am.
I just made this huge mistake.
That's not gonna get you very far.
So what you have to do is learn how to work
through those mistakes and all the emotions
that come with that, but out of it to say, you know what?
That's a mistake I made, but that's not who I am.
And one of my favorite people that talks about shame
and past mistakes and all of that is Brené Brown.
She's brilliant, so great.
And she talks about how shame, it's debilitating.
And she says, "The intensely painful feeling or experience
of believing that we are flawed
and therefore unworthy of love and belonging."
So we are all flawed. Yes, we've all made mistakes.
But who you are, and working on who you are
during this process, again, I can't stress it enough,
it is so, so important.
So I don't want your past to dictate your future
and believe that your self-worth is
in the numbers of your financial world,
because it's simply not true.
And there's so much freedom in it.
Scripture is just covered in grace,
and what this whole journey is about in our lives.
So I don't want you guys to get bogged down,
especially those of you that are
in the early parts of the Baby Steps,
and also those of you in the latter parts thinking,
oh, if I can just get this part of my life solved,
everything's gonna be okay.
Again, are great big parts of it gonna be better?
Yes, but not the whole thing
if you're not looking at the whole picture
of who you are and your value and your character.
Because you are worth it, you guys. You are.
You were created specifically for a purpose,
and you have to understand that,
in this life, that you carry such, such value.
So just a little bit of a reminder for you,
that while this money stuff is extremely important, you,
as the person walking this journey, are even more important.
Now, you guys, all that is just the tip of the iceberg.
And I dig into that so much in my new book,
"Know Yourself, Know Your Money,"
because I want to tackle the shame and guilt
that so many people have so that you can actually live
in confidence when it comes to your life and your money.
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