Because we're here,
I was
thinking about our first dates
at the taco...
the taco memory on our first date.
When you... I don’t know why this is so touching.
Don't laugh.
I don't know why
it’s so touching.
But you split your taco in half
and gave me half of your taco. I really appre-
Food is very important to me.
And
also, just like
I do-
In past relationships,
I felt like I've put in a lot
and given a lot.
So, like... - Half a taco feels good?
Half a taco felt
like this is a good sign
that she's willing to give a little back. - Oh, baby!
You know?
Still, it's a good memory.
This is cute.
If I lost all my memory,
what would you tell me about us?
Well, first of all, I’m like,
that'd be terrible
if you lost the memories.
Wow.
Okay, so I'd say
that we've been dating for nine months
and that we met initially on Hinge.
I was just about ready to delete the app,
but didn't.
And that we matched over Simple Pleasures,
went out on a lovely first date.
And since then we've been connecting over
those simple pleasures.
Spending a lot of time with your family,
that you moved in.
That I'd be like: “Hey, we live in a little studio
apartment together.”
Yeah, and that we have a lot to continue
to look forward to in terms of our
connection.
When did you see me
most vulnerable,
and what did it teach you
about loving me?
Hmm...
You're
pretty confident.
Very sure
of yourself.
And what you want.
When I can think about
times that you did feel vulnerable.
It was when we first met.
And it was regarding your chest
and top surgery. - Yeah.
And I just remember you telling me about
past, previous partners and felt like
your body was tolerated
versus appreciated or loved.
And you did let me know that
I helped a little bit.
A lot of bit. - With that.
A lot of bit.
And your confidence
in yourself and your body and
yeah, I haven't really
felt that vulnerability
or anything like that in you in a while,
but if I had to think of
that one thing,
it would have been regarding.
Yeah.
Your chest and feeling like,
I don't know.
I don't know if it was
that you would never be loved
or appreciated or like, well,
this is what I'm going to get.
I'm never going to have a partner
really love my body.
And at some point, you kind of
thought you would have to just kind of
make, do or deal with.
Yeah, I really...
Yeah, really
was at the point of being like,
I just don't think I'm going to get that
out of life.
Somebody that loves me without boobs
with big top surgery scars.
Yeah, and you're right.
I was very hesitant to show them
to you, and I'm very glad that I did,
because
your reaction was very similar
to my friends’ reactions
and all my other cis male partners
had been
more shocked,
more like, I guess I can deal with this.
To sort of have somebody who not only has
had top surgery himself,
but also is extremely queer.
That felt like a very nice homecoming.
And, you know, when you do stuff like rub
scar cream into them, I'm just yeah, I'm
so grateful that I have a partner
that can love me in that way.
I really did not think
I would have anybody that would.
I know. - That would be down for that.
And here I came. - And here you came.
Thank you, Hinge.
This is another like toughie.
Hit me with that.
I'm glad you have to answer this
question. - Okay.
What is the pain in me
that you wish to- that
you wish you could heal?
And why?
Wow...
We haven't used the pass card yet,
but that- That's up to you.
I mean, if I had a magic wand
to heal pain in you,
I would do that in a second, so...
But which one?
Yeah.
What pain?
I'm thinking about
how you shared that
pretty much
just right before we met,
you kind of thought
that you might never get to be a father.
Mm hmm.
You want to say something about that?
Or you want me to keep going?
You can keep going.
And I would say, like,
the number one thing that I feel like
you were put on this earth to be is a dad
That’s sweet, baby.
And to just know that you-
I was going to say,
like, resigned yourself
to just being an uncle.
I don't want to phrase it
in terms of like that role
not being important, but like,
just to even think
that there had been a little while
where there have been that like
little death inside you of being like,
I don't know if I get to be a dad again
because you were a stepdad for six years.
So like, you did get to experience that.
I wouldn't have thought of that,
but that is something that
I've carried for a while
and
although I do get to be a father again,
thanks to you soon, eventually,
working on it.
I've told you this,
but it does make me a little sad
that I can't have biological children,
which, you know,
it's who I am.
And
it would have been very difficult
and very expensive to do had I not
had the full hysterectomy.
But I made that decision
knowing like this is literally it,
there’s no way...
But that was for my mental health.
And I don't regret that decision.
I could do that for me.
But I did.
Yeah.
And then losing,
as you know, a stepdaughter
to a relationship
that didn't last,
that was really hard as well.
Yeah, I wasn't thinking that when
I read this card. But you...
You're very sweet.
I love you, babe. - I love you too.
Oh, well, you may
know this.
What do you think is next
for our relationship and why?
Mm.
I feel like
we both do a lot of just,
like, enjoying whatever's in front of us.
And then also kind of thinking
about what you might want for the future.
And...
Well, Nico, our kid
is a high on that list.
Yeah, and with me being 32...
you being- me being 34, you being 32,
I feel both
excited to have a kid
with you
and a little bit of the,
like, time pressure of, like,
how are we going to work out
sperm donor?
Mm hmm. - Get me pregnant.
Will it take...? All that sort of stuff.
But
it's been super fun
to think about and talk about, so
I feel like kid on the horizon.
Hopefully soon.
Yes, it's on my personal.
Well,
it will be for the new year
coming up on my personal goals list.
Like, all right, let's take these steps.
What do we have to do to get
there to get you pregnant?
Wow...
Yeah, I mean, that was the answer.
You did? Okay. - Yeah.
What do you feel
our relationship is gifting us?
I think, the happiness that we deserve.
I think I know in my-
not that every relationship
has been horrible, but
they were hard.
I've been, like, miserable
at times and felt very low and like,
this is going to be my life.
And from what I've learned from you,
you've had similar situations where
you gave a lot
and it wasn't necessarily reciprocated.
So
I feel like the gift that
we're giving each other is a partner
who loves them, cares,
hold space, but does the work.
And I think
my friends can see it in me
and your friends
and family can see it in you
that we're very happy and
I don’t know, it's beautiful
to see how everyone rallies around us.
And this is like pumping us up
and cheering us on.
Um, like I’m
pretty sure when you first met my family,
they're all like,
Osh is a great guy, you know?
They were happy for me to have met
you and found you.
Yeah.
So I do think that we give each other
that gift.
That was well summarized.
Thank you.
Hey, if you were watching that video
and you're like,
Wow, I really want to ask
some of those questions to my partner...
We have Couples Edition,
it’s on theskindeep.com/shop