People would stop me on the street
and ask me if I was
'that transgender model'
and it was kind of ...
it was hard
because...
it's hard to explain.
There is internalised...
almost internalised transphobia
even when you're transgender
it's sewn into the fabric of society,
it's sewn into how we think.
So I definitely felt shame with that being so
tied up in my identity publicly.
Which is fucked up, because I'm amazing.
Baby moenga.
Haere ki tō moenga.
Come on.
Come.
Sit.
Down.
Stay.
Where was I?
Hello there.
My name is Manahou Mackay.
I'm 21 years old
and I'm from Auckland, New Zealand.
So, I was 17 when I started modelling
and it was coming up to be my first fashion week
and I think my agency at the time thought...
I mean they were definitely correct...
Thought that it would be a smart move
to get some media coverage.
And I remember going to the fashion week casting
and there was a photographer there from Spy
- is that still a thing? Spy? I dunno -
but he asked to take some photos of me
and asked me a couple of questions
and then, I think maybe from there
actually quite a lot of
media outlets picked up my story.
There was Daily Mail,
when you Google my name there's
a bunch of different articles
and it was all from the first time
like it was a really big deal, which was super weird
and very daunting
because until that point I felt like
I could kind of travel through the world undetected
and people didn't really know, or
didn't really pay any attention to me
which was,
kind of felt more safe
in a way.
So during that time it was
intense on my mental health
and actually on The Project,
the first interview I did,
and I didn't hear this at first...
"Fashion Week is all about bucking old trends
and creating new ones
and this year representing that spirit
isn't just the clothes..."
As I was walking on stage they said
'But for this young model,
it's not about the clothes
it's about what's underneath them', which,
wow, yes,
talk about a young girl's naked body on...
I was 17.
Underage.
That's fucked up.
There definitely is a lot of tokenism
in my line of work.
That's the commercial side of fashion
they try to monetise...
I don't know, anything.
My phone never explodes more
than during pride month.
I used to hate it
and feel so much
resentment towards them
because they're just viewing me as
a marketing tool
but now I see it as
if there's representation in the media
then who cares?
It's still changing society's perception of
whether we're socially acceptable creatures
or not
so, I mean, yeah
they might be doing that for capital...
gains
but it's still changing the narrative.
So I'm there for my mission
and...
if it's tokenism, then it's tokenism.
I think that being Māori
and being transgender
and being a woman...
I mean, I don't really refer to myself
as strictly a woman.
I don't really care at all, to be honest,
anymore.
I guess you would call me a minority,
but I don't say that.
Being in a differentiated group
from the 'norm',
it has made me seek out my own individual pathway.
I think going through my schooling years
as well in Māori units
was influential to how I think
because they believe in doing things
as a people and not as an individual
and it's just filled with love
I think that you don't find
in traditional schooling
and I also think it's very beautiful
that they don't have specific gender pronouns
for when you're talking about someone.
It's not 'him' or 'her'.
It's 'ia' - it's 'them'.
Growing up
for me,
was probably
as easy as it could be
to be transgender.
I had a very supportive family and
it was never really
a thing we spoke about
because ultimately
it's not really a thing that matters.
You are a person before you're a gender.
You're a soul.
We all come into this world
I don't know...
to be ourselves
and to put yourself in a box...
in a binary box...
you have to be this, or that, or this
not just in gender,
in many things
society expects that of you
and my family never
prescribed to that notion
that you have to be one thing
or the other.
You can be whoever you want.
I definitely have an amazing safety net of
friends and family
that provide me love and support
and it would be unimaginably hard
to be alive without that
I actually... I can't believe that
some families out there reject their children
just because they're trying to be
authentically themselves.
It's heartbreaking.
But in a way
you can't really blame the parents.
It's society.
It really is.
I don't think anyone is innately born
with hatred in their heart.
It's taught.
It's taught to them.
There's a quote I really like.
I can't remember who it's by.
But it's...
'It is no measure of health to be well adjusted
to an incredibly sick society'.
That's the tea. Periodt.