Rap duo Salt-N-Pepa may be made for each other,
but frontwoman Cheryl "Salt" James has had a difficult time finding her true love.
And thanks to the iconic hip hop stars' Lifetime movie debut with their biopic,
Salt-N-Pepa, in 2021, James' personal life was once again thrust into the spotlight.
But while other stars may happily grace the big screen, the "Push It" singers typically
prefer to stay behind-the-scenes. So what was strictly off-limits for James' untold story?
Her relationship with her ex-husband, Gavin Wray. She told Entertainment Tonight,
"When you're telling your story there's other people in your life that are involved. […] I felt
like I had to be delicate about incorporating other people's stories in my story."
"I'm an open book…"
"I just wanted to be careful with the father of my kids."
James was married to music producer Gavin Wray for 28 years. The couple had two children,
ultimately divorcing in 2019. The rapper admitted that the split was,
quote, "one of the darkest times" in her life because it dragged on for four years.
She explained the reasoning behind the end of their marriage, telling The Jasmine Brand,
"It was me trying to fill someone else's void. And I didn't realize that I was doing that.
Sometimes we make ourselves small to fit in someone's box and accommodate them.
A lot of times we do that with men. And when I was coming out,
it was a long process of me coming out of the dark part of being divorced."
"There's a Salt and a Pepa in every friendship, the yin and the yang."
James relied on a strong support system between her faith, family,
and friends. She recalled leaning on her other musical half, Sandra "Pepa" Denton, revealing,
"I talked to Pep a lot, I cried a lot. I didn't try to rush through emotion and the death of my
marriage. I really focused on healing and being consistent with whatever I had to do.
I took a few classes, I did a little therapy. Whatever you have to do to
get yourself out of it, you will one day eventually get past it."
"Girl, I did it. Girl, I finally left his ass."
But it appears that James was struggling with self-confidence even before her divorce from Wray.
At the start of her career, she dated producer Hurby "Love Bug" Azor in 1985, but as the rap
duo began to blow up, the pressure of fame had James doubting herself. She told Newsday in 2021,
"Teenage girls usually have some sort of body issues. But then you throw that girl into
being a celebrity and always taking photos and being on red carpets and the limelight
and the pressure of trying to be thin. […] It's very common that [it] can turn
into an eating disorder. I felt all of that pressure."
"We got a lot of things going on."
James called it quits with Azor in '89 and started dating Wray the following year.
The couple wed a decade later on Christmas Eve. Still, James' career was skyrocketing,
and her self-described, quote, "weight worries" developed into bulimia and severe depression,
according to The Star Tribune. James recalled,
"I got to a point where I just couldn't handle it anymore. I hit rock bottom.
I was so focused on me that I felt I had no room to think of [Salt-N-Pepa]."
The duo officially disbanded in 2002, inspiring James to seek help. She would
later find a road to recovery through Christianity, telling the outlet,
"I got to that desperate place where nobody could help me but God.
That meant to me that I needed to shut down a lot of things and focus on God
because that was where my healing was. I needed to take a beat for myself."
Her pastor even helped James overcome bulimia. At the time, her husband Wray was also supporting
her throughout her process and encouraged her to speak to a therapist. She told Distractify,
"For me, the bulimia was about stuffing my emotions. So I stopped suppressing my feelings."
"How all that came together, I don't have a clue, but it worked."
Even though the path to healing was a difficult one, the star found her footing
and has since set her eyes on finding love again. She explained to Newsday,
"I haven't had a date yet, but I'm just putting it out there. People are afraid
of celebrities. They're so intimidated, we barely get approached. It's a problem."
Here's hoping James finds exactly what she's looking for.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder,
please contact the National Eating Disorder Association's Helpline at 1-800-931-2237
or chat with one of their helpline volunteers on NEDA's website.